我叫布巴

鸭绒25（译）

2024年11月2日

一名男子登上飞机，坐在他的座位号上。待坐定后，他抬头看见一位非常漂亮的女人也登上了飞机。

很快，他意识到，她正朝他的座位处走来。这不，她坐在了他旁边的座位上。

他急于开始和她搭话，便脱口而出：“出差，还是度假？”

她转过身，微笑着说：“出差。我要去芝加哥参加年度女性性瘾者大会。”

他咽了口唾沫。他见过的最漂亮的女人坐在他旁边，她要去参加一个女性性瘾者的会议！

他努力保持镇静，平静地问道：“你在这次大会上担任什么角色？”

“讲师。”她回答道，“我用我的经验来揭穿一些关于性的流行迷思。”

“是嘛。”他说，“那些迷思是什么？”

“嗯。”她解释道，“一个流行的误解是，非裔美国男人最有天赋的。而事实上，最有可能拥有这种特质的是美洲印第安人。另一个流行的误解是，法国男人是最好的情人。而事实上，犹太血统的男人才是最好的情人。然而，我们发现，在所有类别中，最好的潜在情人是美国南方的乡巴佬。”

突然，这位女人有点不自在，脸红了。

“对不起。”她说，“我真的不应该和你讨论这个。我甚至不知道你的名字。”

“唐托，”男人说，“唐托·戈尔茨坦。但我的朋友叫我布巴……”

注：“Bubba（布巴）”在美国英语中，通常是南方乡村中男性之间称兄道弟的昵称。该词带有贬义，暗指没有受过教育的南方白人男性。

原文： Call Me Bubba

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat。As he settled in，he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane。

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat。Lo and behold，she took the seat right beside his。

Eager to strike up a conversation，he blurted out：“Business trip or vacation？”

She turned，smiled and said：“Business。I'm going to the Annual Nymphomania Convention in Chicago。”

He swallowed hard。Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs！

Struggling to maintain his composure，he calmly asked：“What's your business role at this convention？”

“Lecturer。”she responded，“I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality。”

“Really。”he said，“what myths are those？”

“Well，”she explained，“one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when，in fact，it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait。Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers，when actually it is the men of Jewish descent。We have，however，found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck。”

Suddenly，the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed。

“I'm sorry。”she said，“I shouldn't really be discussing this with you。I don't even know your name。”

“Tonto，”the man said，“Tonto Goldstein。But my friends call me Bubba……”