改善地狱环境

鸭绒25（译）

2024年8月7日

一位工程师死了，去天堂之门报到。

圣·彼得检查了他的档案，说：“啊，你是一名工程师。你来错地方了。”

于是，这位工程师改去地狱之门报到，并被录取了。

很快，工程师就对地狱里的舒适度感到不满。如同工程师惯常的做法，他开始设计和着手改建工程。过了一段时间，地狱有了空调、抽水马桶，和自动扶梯。工程师成了广受欢迎的人。

有一天，上帝打电话给撒旦，问他：“地狱里的情况如何？”

撒旦回答：“嘿。一切都很顺利。我们有空调、抽水马桶，和自动扶梯。不知道工程师下一步会想出什么点子。”

上帝说：“什么，你们竟然有工程师？那是个错误。他不应该下去那里。把他送上来。”

撒旦说：“不可能。我喜欢有一个工程师在这里。我会留住他。”

上帝说：“把他送回到天堂。否则，我就起诉他。”

撒旦大笑着回答：“没问题。你就起诉吧。不过，你要去哪里找律师帮你打官司？”

原文： Improvements in Hell

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates。

St. Peter checks his dossier and says：“Ah，you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place。”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted。

Pretty soon，the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell，and，as is the wont for engineers，starts designing and building improvements。After a while，they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators，and the engineer is a pretty popular guy。

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks：“So how's it going down there in hell？”

Satan replies：“Hey things are going great。We've got air conditioning，flushing toilets and working escalators，and there's no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next。”

God replies：“What You've got an engineer？That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there，send him up here。”

Satan says：“No way。I like having an engineer on the staff，and I'm keeping him。”

God says：“Send him back up here or I'll sue。”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers：“Yeah right。And just where are you going to get a lawyer？”