确实是好事

鸭绒25（译）

2024年8月5日

这家伙到达了天国之门。在圣·彼得查阅那本生死簿时，他必须在门外等待。

圣·彼得正在检查这个人是否有资格进入天堂。

圣·彼得把书翻了好几遍。他皱起眉头，对那家伙说：“你知道，我看不出你一生做了多少好事。但你也从未做过任何坏事。这样吧，如果你能告诉我，你一生中做过的一件真正的善事，我就让你进了。”

那家伙想了想，说道：“好吧。有一次，当我开车沿着高速公路行驶时，我看到一群摩托车帮派的人正在袭击一个可怜的女孩。我放慢了车速，想看看发生了什么事。我非常确定，他们在干什么。大约有 50个帮派分子正在折磨这个弱小的女子。我愤怒地下了车，从后备箱里抓起一个电熨斗，径直走向这伙人的首领。他是个大块头，穿着一件镶着铆钉的皮夹克，一条链条从鼻子一直挂到耳朵。当我走到首领面前时，帮派分子在我周围围成一圈。于是，我把首领的链条从他脸上扯下来，再用电熨斗砸在他的头上。然后，我转过身来，对其他人大喊：‘放开这个可怜、无辜的女孩。你们这些烂货！你们这群病态的、丧心病狂的禽兽！在我给你们一个痛苦的教训之前，先回家吧！”

圣·彼得对这个故事印象深刻，说：“真的吗？哇。这一切是什么时候发生的？”

“呃……大约两分钟前。”

原文： Really Good Deed

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates。He has to wait to be admitted，while St. Peter leafs through his Big Book。

He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not。

Saint Peter goes through the books several times，furrows his brow，and says to the guy：“You know，I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but，you never did anything bad either。Tell you what，if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life，you're in。”

The guy thinks for a moment and says：“Well，there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl。I slowed down my car to see what was going on，and sure enough，that's what they were doing。There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick。Infuriated，I got out my car，grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang。He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear。As I walked up to the leader，the Gang formed a circle all around me。So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron。Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them，‘Leave this poor，innocent girl alone，you slime！You're all a bunch of sick，deranged animals！Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain！’”

St. Peter, extremely impressed，says：“Really？Wow，when did all this happen？”

"Er……about two minutes ago。”