疯子去看棒球比赛

鸭绒25（译）

2023年8月5日

一家精神病院的医生决定带他的病人去看一场棒球比赛。

提前几周，他就开始指导病人们如何响应他的指令。

到了比赛那天，一切似乎都进行得很顺利。

当国歌响起时，医生喊道：“起立，疯子们。”

病人就跟着站了起来。

国歌奏完后，他又喊道：“坐下，疯子们。”

于是，病人们又都坐回到他们的座位上。

在击出一个本垒打后，医生大喊：“加油，疯子们。”

病人全部都爆发出热烈的掌声和欢呼声。

当裁判对主队明星做出了特别不合理的判罚时，医生大喊：“胡……说，疯子们！！！”

他们又都开始发出嘘声和喝倒彩声。

医生觉得病人们的现场表现很好，他决定去买杯啤酒和热狗。他让他的助理负责照看这些病人。

当他回来时，场面一片混乱。

医生找到他的助手，问：“到底发生了什么事？”

助理回答说：“唉。本来一切都好好的。直到一个卖花生的小贩经过这里，并大声叫喊‘撒尿，疯子们！’”

注：英文的“花生（Peanut）”由Pea（豌豆）和 Nut（果仁）两个字组成。Pea的发音和Pee（撒尿）相同，Nut也作“疯子”解。所以，当小贩喊出“Peanuts（花生）”时，病人们以为是在叫他们撒尿。

原文：Nuts Go to a Baseball Game

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game。

For weeks in advance，he coached his patients to respond to his commands。

When the day of the game arrived，everything seemed to be going well。

As the National Anthem started，the doctor yelled：“Up Nuts。”

And the patients complied by standing up。

After the anthem，he yelled：“Down Nuts。”

And they all sat back down in their seats。

After a home run was hit，the doctor yelled：“Cheer Nuts。”

They all broke out into applause and cheered。

When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team，the doctor yelled：“Booooo Nuts！！！”

And they all started booing and cat calling。

Thinking things were going very well。The doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog，leaving his assistant in charge。

When he returned，there was a riot in progress。

Finding his assistant，the doctor asked：“What in the world happened？”

The assistant replied：“Well，everything was going just fine till a vendor passed by and yelled PEANUTS！”