[转载]非马双语短诗鉴赏:《新年》
(2012-01-28 06:49:15)
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新年
非马
正零时
他们照例对着酒杯
唱依依的骊歌
黯然送走
一年前郑重立下的誓愿
然后转过身来
齐声欢呼
当新的决心
自脱胎换骨的香槟酒里
源源冒出
成为
飘满空中
五彩缤纷的气球
NEW YEAR PARTY
William Marr
at zero hour
they traditionally raise
their champagne glasses
and sing auld lang syne
bidding farewell
to the old resolutions
that were made
exactly one year ago
then they turn around
and shout with joy
while new determinations
rising from the bubbling champagne
turn into
colorful balloons
that fill the air
[简评]
此诗散文读法:“正零时,他们照例对着酒杯唱依依的骊歌,黯然送走一年前郑重立下的誓愿,然后转过身来齐声欢呼,当新的决心自脱胎换骨的香槟酒里源源冒出,成为飘满空中五彩缤纷的气球。”可知,“当新的决心……”与“转过身来……”在语序上倒置,颇具西文色彩。这是不通英文的汉语诗人一般写不出来的句式。
骊歌:告别时所唱之歌。年复一年(“照例”),虽然誓愿屡次落空(“黯然送走”),但新年来临之际(“正零时”),还要下定“新的决心”,意欲“脱胎换骨”。而结果呢?这些决心如同香槟酒里的泡沫,又如同“飘满空中五彩缤纷的气球”:破灭,只在一瞬间!“莫等闲,白了少年头。”——莫辜负,新年杯中酒!这,该是非马先生对我们的《新年》祝词吧。
汉诗两节,英诗两节,但诗行却不等齐:汉诗第一诗节五行,英诗八行;汉诗第二诗节八行,英诗七行。纵观汉英语词,却是大体对应,局部微调。“照例”,英文一般作usually或as a rule, 但诗人却用traditionally(根据传统),何其贴切。“酒杯”对应champagne glasses, 多了“香槟”一词:否则诗行过短。“骊歌”用英文auld lang syne(《友谊地久天长》),更显亲切而到位。“黯然”、“郑重”没有对应英文;同时,英文却多了一个exactly(确切地;完整地)。接下来,“齐声欢呼”对应shout with joy, 即“齐声”略无;随后的“脱胎换骨”,也在英文中不见踪影。——汉语重色时,英语宜淡彩。
好了,将英诗散读:At zero hour, they traditionally raise their champagne glasses and sing auld lang syne, bidding farewell to the old resolutions that were made exactly one year ago. Then they turn around and shout with joy, while new determinations rising from the bubbling champagne turn into colorful balloons that fill the air. 一气呵成,当为非马先生诗作最为显著的句法特征,无论汉英。最后,反观诗题:《新年》——NEW YEAR PARTY(新年聚会)。香槟骊歌之后,还有人说诗人的PARTY为添足之笔吗?
(张智中)