翟华今天的博客介绍了一位美国的中国移民黄西（Joe Wong），成为用英语表演的单口相声明星。黄西今年39岁，毕业于中国吉林大学，主修化学，1999年取得德州莱斯大学生化博士学位，此后在麻州剑桥一家跨国基因制药公司工作。白天他是在实验室正经做研究的科学家，到晚上就摇身一变成演员，穿梭在新英格兰地区的酒吧、夜总会、俱乐部和大学礼堂，表演美式单口相声。2009年4月17日晚上，美国深夜节目收视率冠军的（DAVID LETTERMAN's Late Night Show）“大卫•赖特曼秀”，破天荒邀请他表演，非常轰动。

我在国外饭店曾看过这类表演，有些类似二人转的粗口秀。但估计和二人转一样，到了电视台表演就要滤掉那些“过黄”的粗口了，在这种情况下，没有相当的英语功底很难表演成功，对一个华裔移民就更加困难。所以，我对黄西的成功颇感兴趣。现在找到了这段视频，与大家分享。视频后面所附的是翟华的翻译。

翻译（翟华）：

【戴眼镜的黄西出场。腼腆地，左顾右盼状。开口说话，有中国口音。】

Hi, everybody...so aah, I am irish...（嗨，每个人…哦，啊，我是爱尔兰人）

I read a report saying that a man reach their sexual peak at the age of 18...but I didn't know this, until i was 25...so the world will never knew what a stud I was...nobody took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe...（我读了个报告，说是男人的性能力在18岁达到高峰…可是我那时不知道，直到我25岁…所以整个世界永远不再会知道我曾有多大的能耐…没有人尝过我这个梨子熟了的时候的滋味）

I am not good at sports, but I love parallel parking...because unlike sports...whenever parallel parking, the worse you are...the more people they have rudeing for you...I am an immigrant...and I used to drive this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that impossible to peel it off...and one of them said ...if you don't speak English, go home...and I didn't notice this for two years...I tried really hard to become an US citizen, and I had to take this America history lessons... （我没有运动细胞，可是我喜欢路边平行泊车…与运动不一样的是，平行泊车的技术越糟，就有越多人对你吆喝…我是个移民…那会儿我老是开着辆老车，车上有好多贴纸，撕不下来…其中一个贴纸上写着…如果你不说英语就回老家去…可是我两年都没发现…我费了好大力气想变成美国公民，为了这个我参加了美国历史考试）

Where they ask us questions like... who's Benjamin Franklin...well, I like aah...the reason our convenience store gets robbed...what's the second amendment...well, I like aah...the reason our convenience store gets robbed...what's the row (Roe) vs wade...like aah...two ways of coming to the united states... (考试里他们问这样的题：谁是本杰明•富兰克林？…啊，我想这就是我们为什么我们的便利店会被抢劫的原因【按：美元上有富兰克林的头像】？…还有什么是第二修正案？…唉，我还是觉得这就是为什么我们的便利店会被抢劫的原因吧。还有，什么是Roe vs Wade【罗伊诉韦德案】？我想这是两种到美国的方法吧【按：row=划船，wade=淌水过河】。

I have a family now, but I used to be really scared of marriage... I was like...wow...50% of all marriages end up lasting for ever... I just had my first child last year... and aah...I was really amazed by it...you know...I was at the delivery room...holding on my son...thinking to myself...wow...he was just born...and he is already US citizen...so I said to him...ah...do you even know who's Benjamin Franklin...（我现在成家了，可是过去我很怕婚姻，因为我听说百分之五十的婚姻都维持到最后。去年我的第一个娃儿出生了，啊，那感觉真的是很奇妙。你瞧，我在产房抱着我的儿子，对我自己说：哇欧！他刚出生就成了美国公民。所以我问他说：你知不知道谁是本杰明•富兰克林吗？）

Now I have a sign on my car...it says...ah...baby on board...this sign is basically a threat...it just says I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife...and I am not afraid of dying anymore...(现在我的车上有个新贴纸，上面写着：车上有婴儿。这个贴纸基本上是个威胁的意思，就是说我有个在大哭的婴儿还有一个唠叨的老婆，我还会怕死吗？)