把我的红衬衫拿来

鸭绒25（译）

2024年10月24日

很久以前，当帆船统治着大海时，一位船长和他的船员遭遇了一艘海盗船登船的危险。

当船员们变得惊慌失措时，船长对他的大副大喊：“把我的红衬衫拿给来！”

大副迅速找来了船长的红衬衫。船长穿上它，带领船员与已登上船的那些海盗战斗。虽然船员中发生了一些伤亡，但海盗被击退了。

当天晚些时候，瞭望员尖叫着说，海盗派出了两艘船要来登船。船员们吓得惊慌失措。

但船长像先前一样冷静地吼道：“把我的红衬衫拿给来！”

战斗开始了。船长和他的船员再次击退了这两支登船海盗，尽管这次伤亡更大。

那天晚上，船员们疲惫不堪，坐在甲板上回忆白天发生的事情。

这时，一名少尉看着船长问道：“先生，战斗前你为什么要穿红衬衫？”

船长用只有船长才能给出的眼神看着少尉，劝诫道：“如果我在战斗中受伤，红衬衫不会露出伤口。因此，你们将继续无所畏惧地战斗。”

水手们默默地坐着，惊叹于如此英勇的一个男人。

第二天早上，当黎明到来时，瞭望员尖叫道，有10艘海盗船，正向他们冲过来。

士兵们沉默了。看着船长，等待他的日常命令。

船长一如既往地冷静，吼道：“把我的棕色裤子拿来！！

注：这则笑话的隐喻比较晦涩。从色彩心理学来说，红色可以代表勇敢、果断，棕色可以代表沉稳、安全。这似乎可以隐喻船长的领导力和应变能力。但这并不好笑，也没有幽默感。而动物，包括人，对恐惧、危险的一个本能反应是大小便失禁。俗话说“吓得屁滚尿流”。既然红色可以掩盖血迹，那么，棕色是不是可以掩盖屎尿？

原文： Bring Me My Red Shirt

Long ago，when sailing ships ruled the waves，a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship。

As the crew became frantic，the captain bellowed to his First Mate：“Bring me my red shirt！”

The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt，which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party。Although some casualties occurred among the crew，the pirates were repelled。

Later that day，the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties。

The crew cowered in fear，but the captain calm as ever bellowed：“Bring me my red shirt！”

The battle was on，and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties，although this time more casualties occurred。

Weary from the battles，the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked：“Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle？”

The Captain，giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give，exhorted：“If I am wounded in battle，the red shirt does not show the wound and thus，you men will continue to fight unafraid。”

The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man。

As dawn came the next morning，the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships，10 of them，all with boarding parties on their way。The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command。

The Captain，calm as ever，bellowed：“Bring me my brown pants！！”