Did your father help you?    (源自：金山词霸)

One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.

              你爸爸帮你了吗？ （译文：牛筋）

一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事？你爸爸帮你做的吗？"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。"

                        Not a Dancer  （ 源自 ：中国日报）

         A lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet.  She asked the clerk for a bird that could sing.  The man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home.  There, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg.  She returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg.  "Lady," he answered,  "When you bought the bird, you asked for a singer, not a dancer."

                  不是舞蹈者     （译文：牛筋）

一位女士走进宠物商店。她跟店员说要买一只会唱歌的鸟。店员卖给她一只小鹦鹉。回到家后，这个女士检查发现这只鸟的一条腿是断的。她返回店中，告诉店员说鸟的一条腿是断的。 “女士，”店员回答，“当你买这只鸟的时候，你说要会唱歌的鸟，而不是会跳舞的鸟。”

           A man is talking to God    (源自：外国小幽默)

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

                   和上帝的谈话        （译文：牛筋）

 男人：上帝，一百万年有多长？
上帝： 对我来说，大约是一分钟。
男人：  上帝，一百万美元有多少？
上帝： 对我来说，它只是一分钱。
男人： 上帝，我可以要一分钱吗？
上帝： 那等一分钟吧。

                   Two  Cute dogs        (源自：开心一刻)

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

                   两只可爱的小狗         （译文：牛筋）

一个男人走进商店，看到一只非常可爱的小狗。他问店员说，“你的狗咬人吗？”

店员回答说，“不，我的狗不咬人。”

这个男人试着拍拍这只小狗，可是狗咬了他。

“哦！”男人叫道，“你刚才说你的狗不咬人的！”

“可是那不是我的狗。” 店员回答说。

                      This is my seat     （源自：非常幽默）

  　　It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a window seat.
　　After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored him and told him to go away.
　　"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."

                     这是我的座位     （译文：牛筋）

一个女人第一次坐飞机。她登机后找到一个靠窗户的位置。

当她坐定后，一个男人走过来，坚持说座位是他的。女人不理他，并叫他滚开。

“好吧，”男人回答说。“如果你那么想坐这里，那只能由你来开飞机了。”