Only One Eye to Settle On （源自：英语笑话集）
The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, "When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye. "
      
                 一眼就看中       （译文：牛筋）
  姑娘找到媒人，说：“你欺骗了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前为什么不告诉我？”
“怎么没告诉你？”媒人也不甘示弱，“你们第一回见面后，我就说，他一眼就看中你了。”  
 

        Speeding Ticket（源自：外国小幽默）
A Police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
                     
        超速罚单   （译文：牛筋）
交警拦住了一个开车超速的金发碧眼的女人。他很礼貌地问能否看看她的驾驶证。女人生气地大叫道：“你们这些家伙应该好好把你们做的事联系起来。就在昨天你们刚拿走了我的驾驶证，今天你们又指望我拿驾驶证给你们看！”

       Bedtime Prayers  （源自：国际人网）
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy . Make Naples the capital of Italy ."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy ?"
And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!" 
 
        睡前祷告  （译文:牛筋）
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。” 
      

          Teacher’s mistake    (源自：看笑话学英语)
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

          老师的错误   （译文：牛筋）
父亲： 你数学考试为什么会不及格呀？
儿子： 星期一，老师说，3+5=8。
父亲：那怎么了？
儿子：星期二，老师说4+4=8，到了星期三，她又说，6+2=8.如果她自己都不能确定答案的话，我又怎么会知道正确答案呢？

          A second language  (源自：非常幽默)
 
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and  said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
                   

          第二语言    （译文：牛筋）
 
有这么一家子老鼠都被一只大猫吓住了。忽然，老鼠爸爸跳起来大叫道，“汪汪！”
猫吓得跑开了。“爸爸，汪汪是什么呀？”小老鼠问道。“哦，儿子，这就是学一门外语有多么重要了。”