Afraid of mother-in-law     (源自:开心一刻)
A man complained to his neighbour at the bar, "Yesterday, I thought I'd solved all my problems. I thought I'd found a way to forget my mother-in-law. I went to the pub and got drunk."
"Did it work?"
"No, when I got home I found two of her waiting."
                  
       恐惧岳母症      （译文：牛筋）
一个男人在酒吧里对他的邻居抱怨道，“昨天，我原以为我解决了所有的麻烦，我以为我终于找到了一种可以忘记我岳母的好方法。于是，我就去酒馆喝酒，喝的大醉。”
“那样有用吗？”
“一点也没有，相反，我回到家，竟然发现两个岳母在等着我。”
 

        Good manners   (源自：英语在线)
A teacher was giving her class of small children a lesson on good manners.
"Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady's foot. What do you do?"
"I say pardon me."
"Very good. Now suppose the lady, to reward you, gives you a coin. What do you do?"
"Step on the other foot to get a second one." 
        

          文明礼貌     （译文：牛筋）
老师正在给她的小学生上一堂有关文明礼貌的课。
“假如，你不小心踩到了一位女士的脚，你该怎么做？”
“我会说对不起。”
“很好。假如 那位 女士赏给你一个硬币。你该怎么做？”
“去踩另一只脚，再拿一个硬币。”
 

        I need a transplant  (源自：英语笑话)
   The patient is adamant. "Doctor, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ."
    "What makes you think you need all these?"
    " Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

        我要进行全面移植    （译文：牛筋）
一个病人很坚定地说，“医生，我需要肝脏移植，肾脏移植，心脏移植，角膜移植，脾胃移植，胰腺移植…”
“怎么会需要这么多的移植呢？”
“哦，”病人回答说，“我老板说如果我想继续在那里工作，就必须全面改造重组。”
          

       The boss tells some jokes (源自：英语笑话集锦)
 
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?"
"I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday." 
               

        老板讲笑话    （译文：牛筋）
 
老板吃完午饭回来后心情很好，就召集公司所有的员工一起听他讲笑话。顿时，一阵哄堂大笑，只有一个女孩面无表情。
“怎么了？”老板发牢骚说，“难道你没有幽默感吗？”
 “我不需要笑了，”女孩回答说，“我星期五就要离开了。”
                   

        Standing on the bill   (源自：外国幽默)
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

        站在钞票上    （译文：牛筋）
老师：你为什么迟到了？
学生：我在路上碰到一个人丢了一张一百美元的钞票。
老师：那很好。 你是因为帮助他找钱才迟到的吗？
学生：不是，因为我一直站在那张钞票上。