Catching the bear   （源自：啊哈笑话网）

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.

The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.

Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

           捕熊   （译文：牛筋）

两个男人外出捕熊。其中一个呆在小木屋里，另外一个外出寻找猎物。很快，这个人发现了一头大狗熊，并开枪向牠射击，可是仅打伤了它。
这头被激怒的熊马上朝他冲过来，这个猎人赶紧丢掉了猎枪，拼命地逃向小木屋。他跑的很快，可是熊的速度总是比他快一点，并且一步步紧跟着他。当这个猎人刚刚跑到小木屋门口时，忽然被绊倒在地板上。

因为熊离他太近了，当猎人绊倒时，熊也没有办法停下来了，于是熊也被猎人绊倒，并滚进了小木屋。

这个猎人赶快跳起来，关上了小木屋的门，对小木屋内他的朋友大叫道：“你把这只熊的皮剥了，我去外面找另外一头熊了。”

       stupid     (源自：外国幽默网)
A new teacher is trying to make use of her psychology courses. she starts her class by saying, "everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up."

  After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. the teacher said, "do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

  "no ,ma'am," he says, "but I hate to see you standing there all  by yourself."

    愚蠢   （译文：牛筋）

 一个新老师想用她所学过的心理学知识开始她的第一节课。她在课堂一开始就说：“哪个人认为自己愚蠢的，请站起来。”

过了几秒钟，小约翰尼站了起来。老师问：“约翰，你觉得自己是愚蠢的吗？”

“不是的，夫人，”约翰尼回答道，“我只是不想看到你一个人独自站在那里。”

    Mrs. Johnson and pig        (源自：外国幽默网)  
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, "Does this mean
that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"

The judge said that was true.

"Does this also mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked.

The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.

The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."

         约翰逊夫人和猪   （译文：牛筋）

一个妇女控告一个男人对她人格侮辱中伤。她控告说那个男人叫她猪。这个男人被判有罪并处以罚金。

在审判过后，这个男人问法官，“这是不是意味着以后我不能叫约翰逊夫人‘猪’了啊？”

法官回答说：“是的　。”

“那是不是也意味着我不能叫一头猪为‘约翰逊夫人’了啊？”

法官回答说他可以称呼任一头猪为“约翰逊夫人”，不用害怕会承担任何法律诉讼。

于是这个男人直看着约翰逊夫人说，“下午好，约翰逊夫人。”