作为一个中国长大的人，我想我永远也不会成为一个典型的美国人。

    例如，我想在路边捡点石头回家做花盆的装饰，被告知那都是私人土地和财产，随便拿是违法的。

    还有，我在中国电脑一出问题，就问任何我认识的程序员，他们总是任劳任怨来帮忙。美国程序员说，我是写程序的，又不是修电脑的。美国社会的分工详细，导致人们专业领域这件事非常尊重。于是出现张发财愿意花开美金一小时请中文老师，也不愿意跟我免费学习这种事。

    最近，我对我的绿卡有一些问题。具体说，我想出国旅游比较长时间，不知道会不会影响我的绿卡。按照我粗浅的知识，拿绿卡的人不能离开美国很长时间，否则会被认为自动放弃。我解决问题的方法，是上网搜。而发财兄的解决方案，是找了个移民律师，去咨询。

    发财对于美国的消费主义意见很大，觉得这是把美国人变肤浅变愚蠢的最主要原因。他几乎不去商场，总是破衣烂衫，一件T恤穿十年都懒得买新的。而且他不看电视，不关心球赛，不吃任何快餐，他总是很自豪的宣称自己，不是典型的美国人。但是对于专业知识的尊重，把他打回了美国人的原型。在我看来，你在一个消费主义的国家，是无法避免消费主义的侵蚀的。因为所有的你能接触到的东西，都被变成了商品。知识和信息也是商品，他宁愿花儿200美金听一个移民律师讲一个小时，这正是他是典型美国人的表现。

     另一个典型美国人的特点，是不会说外语。这是我最近从德国姑娘乔安娜那儿学来的。那天闲聊，发财又说，他不是典型的美国人 ，乔安娜于是问他，"你会说几种语言？"发财无奈，说只有英语。乔安娜赢了，她说"那你还是典型的美国人。"

      其实美国人从上高中就必须选一门外语学，但是对于一个走遍全世界都可以说母语的人来说，学一门外语的确也是件不容易的事。

      当然，除非你找个外国老婆。如今，张发财终于又开始了他脱离典型美国人的道路，开始学中文。不幸的是，他选了一门对英语母语最难的语言。哈哈

    他不知道的是，也许，他学中文的速度，完全赶不上中国消费主义蔓延的步伐。即使他有一天能说流利的中文，他还是会失望的发现，美国消费主义文化对中国的全面颠覆。

     当然，中国与美国本来也有很相似的地方，是美国人把消费主义传遍全球，接着中国人把中国制造也送到了全球各地。

    从这个意义上说，最终我们都是典型的美国人。

英文版本

Who is a typical American? 
By Jin Zhang

As a new immigrator grew up in China, I think I would never become a "typical" American.

For example, when I want to pick up some rocks along the road to fix my uneven flower pot, I was told it is illegal because anything in this country is private.

Another example, when I lived in China, it was very common to ask any computer programmer around me to fix my computer. They had never complained. However, American programmers would tell me that he or she is not computer repair man. American's work allocate is extremely precise; as a result, area of expertise is a big deal. 

I have some question recently about my green card, for I'm going to travel oversea for relatively long time and not sure if I could stay that long. I solve the problem by searching on internet, yet my husband Jason's solution is making an appointment with our immigration lawyer. 

Born and educated in U.S.A., Jason has an strong opinion about Consumerism. He believes it is consumerism that superficialities American. He hates shopping, especially for clothes. Consequently he often look like a bagger with all his 10-year-old T-shorts. He also doesn't watch TV, football match, or eat any fast food. He claims that he is not a "typical" American. Nonetheless, his attitude toward professional work sold him out. 

In my opinion, living in U.S.A., consumerism is inviolable. Nothing you need is not merchandise or at least related with it, including knowledge and information. The fact that Jason prefer to spent $200 to listen to a lawyer for one hour proves he is still a "typical" American.

Another "Typical" American feature is English is the only language you speak. I learned this from Johanna, the German girl we met in Venezuela. When we chatted one day, Jason mentioned that he is not a "typical" American again, Johanna asked him, "How many languages do you speak?". Jason answered reluctantly "just one."

"So you are still a typical American", Johanna announced.

I want to defend my American husband here, for it is not that Americans don't want to learn a foreign language. Every American picks up one foreign language in high school. But considering American could travel around the whole world with their mother language, it is understandable that learning a foreign language is very difficult.

Of course, unless you have a foreign wife. I'm happy to hear Jason said the other day that he decides to study Chinese, although Chinese is one of the hardest language for American. At least he is going to be a real "untypical" American, I thought.

There is some concern I didn't speak out. I'm afraid that no matter how fast he learn Chinese, he would never catch the consumerism influence speed in China. I don't like to see one day when he speaks fluent Chinese, he realize the consumerism spread further than he imagines.

Actually, China has much more similarities with American than most people assume. For instance, It is American who delivers Consumerism to the world, and it is China who brings goods that made in China to rest of the world. 

And in this sense, eventually we will all be "typical" Americans.