6/ Unlike before, the apartment building was now rundown and in disrepair. What was once more than a place to live looked hardly worth living in. The court was dirty and broken up, and the windows in the building were all broken out. The once clean walls were covered with graffiti and other stains. There were no medieval knights or pirates running around the place now, nor spacemen insisted, there were a few tough looking adolescents who looked much older than their ages.    

    原译：

    这座楼已经破旧失修，不复从前。曾几何时，它远远不止是一个居住的地方，现在，看上去几乎无法居住了。院子里肮脏破败，楼上的窗户全都坏了。一度干净的墙壁上到处是涂鸦和斑斑污迹。现在既没有中世纪骑士，也没有海盗出没，也没有哪个太空人一本正经地说：看到几个长相粗野、老气横秋的少年。

值得我们注意的是，译者将上句中的There were no medieval knights or pirates running around the place now, nor spacemen insisted, there were a few tough looking adolescents who looked much older than their ages → 现在既没有中世纪骑士，也没有海盗出没，也没有哪个太空人一本正经地说：看到几个长相粗野、老气横秋的少年。

细心的译者会在“费解”之后，迅速感到：原句在语法上存在问题！若是着眼全篇，上句的问题就更大了，此句与全篇不仅在“连贯”上格格不入，而且，逻辑上也漏洞百出！   

从通篇观，就能发现一个疑问：

insisted如果有“一本正经地说”的含义，也不能如此使用，根据语法规则，应该使用insisting而不是insisted。

看来，译者的语篇意识，不仅能令译文生辉添色，而且还能帮助译者判断原文可能的失误。通过以上分析，我们可以基本判定，原句里的insisted可能系instead之误。而原译居然能够“将错就错”地译成汉语，倒也不易。

笔者把此短文的全篇发美国友人，并请他们对此疑难句发表意见。

美国教授Bill Hofmann对本句的分析：

Your issues with the problem sentence are very apt. There is no secret here: It is an error.  The sentence should read "There were no medieval knights or pirates running around the place now, nor spacemen. INSTEAD, there were a few tough looking adolescents who looked much older than their ages." You could use a semicolon rather than a period after spacemen.

澳大利亚作家Denise Noblet对上句分析道：

You do manage to find some ugly English sentences! I feel as though he meant to write:

"There were no medieval knights or pirates running around the place now, nor spacemen, INSTEAD, there were a few tough looking adolescents who looked much older than their ages..."

至此，我们可以断定：insisted确系instead之误。

    走出迷茫，廓清舛误，上句可改译：

大楼破旧失修，不复从前。曾几何时，它曾经是天堂，曾经是乐园，而今，看上去几乎不宜居住了。院子里肮脏破败，楼上的窗户全都破碎了。曾经清洁的墙壁，已满是涂鸦和污迹。在这里，中世纪骑士、海盗、还有太空人已经销声匿迹，取而代之的，却是几个长相粗野的少年，而且看上去比他们的实际年龄要大得多。

    7/ As for the area where I used to play, it was hardly recognizable. The branch was polluted and the honeysuckles had died. Not only were they dead, but they had been trampled to the ground. The branch itself was filled with old bicycles, broken bottles and garbage. Now, instead of finding something as romantic as an alligator, one would expect to find only rats. The once sweet smelling area now smelled horrible. The stench from my once idyllic haven was heart wrenching.

原译：我过去常玩的地方，几乎认不出来了。小溪污染了，忍冬花凋零了。岂止是凋零，还被踩进了泥土里。小溪里扔满了旧自行车、破瓶子和垃圾。现在，鳄鱼这种浪漫的东西是没指望了，只能指望找到老鼠。曾经芳香怡人的地方现在是臭气熏天。从昔日的童年乐园里散发出的阵阵恶臭令我揪心。

    上段，已然流露了作者对往昔的回忆，对现实的慨叹，而本段作者将继续他的感慨，原译将段首句As for the area where I used to play, it was hardly recognizable.直译成“我过去常玩的地方，几乎认不出来了”，译笔谨慎有余，着眼通篇，为了使段与段之间多一点“衔接”，为了使行文多一点比照，是否可以稍纵译笔？如将the area where I used to play译成“往昔的乐园”？

改译：往昔的乐园，已经难以相认。小河污染了，忍冬消逝了，岂止是消逝，它们已被踩进了泥土里。小河里满是旧自行车、破瓶子和垃圾。现在，要想在里面发现像鳄鱼这种具有传奇色彩的动物是没指望了，能发现的只是老鼠。曾经的芳香怡人之地已经变得臭气熏天。昔日我心中田园诗般的乐土散发出的阵阵恶臭，令我揪心。

    8/ I do not regret having seen my old neighborhood. However, I do not think my innocent childhood memories will ever be the same. I suppose it is true when they say, “You can never go home again.”

原译：看过故居，我并不后悔。然而，我觉得：我曾经天真无邪的童年回忆再也找不回来了。我想有句话说得很对 ----“你永远不能重返家园”。

语篇意识确实能解放我们的译笔，让我们的译笔在“信”的前提下，更如游刃，更多创新。段首句的翻译，译者更多考虑衔接和连贯，I do not regret having seen my old neighborhood正好可以用来呼应标题。

语篇对照意识，又提醒我们，本文文采不俗，激情澎湃，所以，在收尾段，是否可以让译句增添些文采？尤其是You can never go home again一句，是You cannot step into the same river twice.(苏格拉第的著名哲言)的改写。故是否能将原句中的形容词true略作引申？

改译：故地重游，我并不后悔。然而，我觉得，天真的童年的梦不会永远定格于童年时空。我想，有句话人们说得很有哲理 ---- “你永远不能重返家园”。