4．初极狭，才通人；复行数十步，豁然开朗。土地平旷，屋舍俨然，有良田美池桑竹之属；

1/ At first it was so narrow that he could barely pass, but after advancing a short distance it suddenly opened up to reveal a broad, flat area with imposing houses, good fields, beautiful ponds, mulberry trees, bamboo, and the like.

2/ At first it was very narrow, only wide enough for a man, but after forty or fifty yards he suddenly found himself in the open. The place he had come to was level and spacious. There were houses and cottages arranged in a planned order; there were fine fields and beautiful pools; there were mulberry trees, bamboo groves, and many other kinds of trees as well;

从表层看，译1很美，一“句”呵成。从深层考虑，译文之美，还不能忘记反映原文固有的神韵及瑰玮。如“初极狭，才通人；复行数十步，豁然开朗”，它是一个相对完整的“大意群”，若出声朗读，其“制高点”，当在“豁然开朗”。英译似应考虑保留这种美。译2更多地挽留了这种美 – 尤其是，句子以in the open嘎然收尾，韵味袅袅，与原句异曲同工。

遗憾的是，译2接下去的译文用了两句，未能继续挽留原句的畅洁。是否能借用英语的parallelism，构成一个“尾重”呢？ 

改译：

At first it was very narrow. There was only room for one man to pass, but after forty or fifty yards he suddenly found himself in the open air. The place he had come to was a wide expanse of level fields, with houses and cottages neatly arranged, surrounded by fine paddies, lovely ponds, mulberry trees, groves of bamboo, and the like. 

5．阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中往来种作，男女衣着，悉如外人；黄发垂髫，并怡然自乐。

1/ The fisherman saw paths extending among the fields in all directions, and could hear the sounds of chickens and dogs. Men and women working in the fields all wore clothing that looked like that of foreign lands. The elderly and children all seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves.

2/ There were raised pathways round the fields; and he heard the fowls crowing and dogs barking. Going to and fro in all this, and busied in working and planting, were people, both men and women. Their dress was not unlike that of people outside, and all of them, whether old people with white hair or children with their hair tied in a knot, were happy and content with themselves. 

美哉，英语之“非人称主语句”（impersonal subject sentence）！而汉语偏少此种句型。汉语的“非人称主语句”虽然寥若晨星，却并不影响汉语行文之简明与雅洁。因为，汉语多“主语省略句”（sentence with subject omitted）。国人的主体性思维方式根深蒂固，“行为主体”往往“不言自明”。如：

《红楼梦》的袭人说过这样一句话：

一百年还记得着呢！比不得你，拿着我的话当耳边风，夜里说了，早起就忘了。

袭人的这句话，我们读来一目了然。虽然其中省略了“我”和“你”，可是，我们却心领神会。如：

（我活）一百年（我）还记得着呢！（我）比不得你，拿着我的话当耳边风，（我）夜里说了，（你）早起就忘了。

上句“阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中往来种作，男女衣着，悉如外人”虽然省略了“主语”，读者同样心领神会：

（渔人见）阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中（村民）往来种作，男女衣着，悉如外人；

而值得注意的是，上面的译1和译2，皆将上句译成了人称主语句：

1/ The fisherman saw … and could hear…

2/ and he heard …

“阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻”，是否可以另辟蹊径，译成非人称主语句（被动句式）呢？如译：

Under his feet country paths crisscrossed, and crowing of roosters and barking of dogs could be heard around. 

“男女衣着，悉如外人”，以上两译，彼此矛盾，可视作“译坛笑话”。35年前笔者执教中学语文时，教研组曾为“外人”二字的理解而有过激烈的争论，后来得知“外人”乃国内学界之经典“歧义”也。

歧义之一，“先世避秦时乱，率妻子邑人来此绝境”，与外面隔绝近600年之久，他们的穿着打扮，不可能同外面的人一样，可能差别极大。因此，“悉如外人”中的“外人”，不能理解为“外面的人”，而应理解为“异族人”。

歧义之二，“悉如外人”指其穿着打扮跟当时的外界一样。此乃作者的点睛之笔。作者欲借此暗示桃花源并非缥缈仙境。“悉如外人”将桃花源定位于人间，内外两个社会才具有“可比性”，作品厌恶乱世，向往安乐社会的主题才得以充分演绎。 

后者的分析由表及里，观察由浅入深，似更可接受。

“黄发垂髫，并怡然自乐”一句，译2将之译成：

… and all of them, whether old people with white hair or children with their hair tied in a knot, were happy and content with themselves.

译笔不可谓不细腻矣。“黄发”与“垂髫”，分别译成 -- with white hair / hair tied in a knot，如此译文，有点“吃力不讨好”。何谓“黄发”？《高级汉语大词典》认为：黄发指老人。老人发白，白久则黄。何谓“垂髫”？《高级汉语大词典》还指出：古时儿童不束发，头发下垂，因以“垂髫”指儿童。

由此可见，死扣字眼的翻译，绝非“上策”。“黄发”→ white hair；“垂髫” → hair tied in a knot，仅是机械的表层转换。翻译美学告诉我们，模糊即美，朦胧即准（表达的涵盖面趋于扩展），译1可资参考。

改译：

Under his feet country paths crisscrossed, and crowing of roosters and barking of dogs could be heard around. Men and women working in the fields were all clad in outfits just like those worn by people outside, while the elderly and the little both seem to enjoy themselves. 

6. 见渔人，乃大惊；问所从来。具答之。便要还家，设酒杀鸡作食。村中闻有此人，咸来问讯。

1/ The people were amazed to see the fisherman, and they asked him from where he had come. He told them in detail, then the people invited him to their home, set out wine, butchered a chicken, and prepared a meal. Other villagers heard about the fisherman, and they all came to ask him questions.

2/ Seeing the fisherman, they were greatly amazed and asked him where he had come from. He answered all their questions, and then they invited him to their homes, where they put wine before him, killed chickens and prepared food in his honor. When the other people in the village heard about the visitor, they too all came to ask questions. 

汉语不像英语那样注重彰显句子内部的逻辑关系，句与句之间没有，或很少表示逻辑关系的连接词，汉语遂称“意合语言”，上句即是一例。因此，汉语使用者具有更高的语言悟性。比如，“便要还家，设酒杀鸡作食”，其间，无须任何连接词，读者明白，所谓“设酒杀鸡作食”，肯定在“家”中，而英语表达，就必须添加一个where，以示地点。如译2 -- and then they invited him to their homes, where they put wine before him, killed chickens and prepared food in his honor. 一个where，用得精彩，英语味浓郁起来。

又如，“村中闻有此人，咸来问讯”英语表达，就必须添加一个when，以示时间，如译2 -- When the other people in the village heard about the visitor, they too all came to ask questions. 

由此可见，汉译英，也不可忘记英汉两种语言的“表层差异”。

两译相比，译1就略嫌逊色。须指出的是，译1的in his honor，庄重有余，难合语境，不如略作调整。 

改译：

The fisherman was then spotted by a villager, who was greatly amazed and asked where he had come from. The fisherman replied in detail. Then the villager invited him to his home, where he poured wine and prepared chickens to treat him. When the rest of the village heard about the visitor, they flocked over with all kinds of questions. 

7. 自云先世避秦时乱，率妻子邑人来此绝境，不复出焉。遂与外人间隔。

1/ Then the villagers told him, "To avoid the chaos of war during the Qin Dynasty, our ancestors brought their families and villagers to this isolated place and never left it, so we've had no contact with the outside world."

2/ They themselves told him that their ancestors had escaped from the wars and confusion in the time of Qin Dynasty. Bringing their wives and children, all the people of their area had reached this isolated place, and had stayed here ever since. Thus they had lost all contacts with the outside world.   

又一个主语省略句！是谁“率妻子邑人来此绝境”？没有交代。而英译则不能不交代，因此译1和译2不约而同地添加了一个主语 – ancestors。

此外，“邑人”被分别译成villagers / all the people of their area，似也欠当。所谓“邑”，泛指一般城镇。历来有“大曰都,小曰邑”之说，宋朝的苏洵在其《六国论》中就写道：小则获邑，大则获城。据此，“邑人”还是译成town folk为宜。

译文应经得起逻辑的咀嚼。若对原句的深层结构缺乏洞悉，其表层转换则可能误入歧途。比如译2的Bringing their wives and children, all the people of their area had reached this isolated place就犯了“眉毛胡子一把抓”之“逻辑病”，原句中的“妻子邑人”乃并列关系，译文却理解为：率妻子，邑人来此绝境。非也。

改译：

He was also told by the villagers that their ancestors brought their families and town folks to this isolated land while seeking havens in the troubled times of the Qin. They never went out again, and had since lost contacts with the outside. 

【待续】