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请你改译(1)(9月2日上午)

(2007-09-02 06:40:14)
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知识/探索

翻译练习(1)

列位看官,如果你有兴趣,是否能对“现有汉译”提出你的改译?过两日,我将提供本人的翻译。
 

    英语原句:

    Slumping down against a back wall, Sallee tried to assess his injuries. Haltingly, he raised his hand to his throat. As he pulled it away he saw through blurred eyes what appeared to be multiple hands, covered with blood. His life was ebbing away, but he could not move. He thought how sorry he was that his parents might have to find him this way.

    现有汉译:

   靠着后门的墙他又一下子倒下,塞利于是对自己的伤势作了下分析。犹豫中,他抬起一只手摸了摸喉咙。当他把手从喉咙上移开的时候他双眼模糊,似乎看见了许多只手的叠现,手上沾满了鲜血。他的生命正在慢慢耗尽,可他又无法动弹。他想,要是父母看到自己就是这样的死去,他觉得会多么的惭愧和内疚,辜负了他们的养育之恩。

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