列位看官，就诗歌翻译而言，也许美学的非表象要素较之表象要素更重要。

语言的非表象美学要素与语言形式没有直接的关系，通常又是“不可计数的”，我们称其为“非定量因素”。我们不可能对一篇文章的气质（包括思想、意境、神韵、气势、情态、韵味、风貌等等审美构成）得出任何定量。但这些要素对一篇文章，特别是一首诗歌的审美价值来说是至关重要的。虽然它们是非物质、非直观的，但它们在总体上却又是可感知的。

    语言的非物质形态、非直观的审美构成的特点是：它是不可数计的，因而是非定量的；它是不稳定的、难于捉摸的，因而是模糊的；它是不可分割的，不是非此即彼的，因而是某种集合体。总之，语言的这种审美构成在美学上称为“非定量模糊集合”（Non-Quantitative Fuzziness）。

    李白的短诗《静夜思》，妇孺皆知。多少年来，国人，包括老外，皆积极投入《静夜思》的英译。本文收集了12种不同的《静夜思》的英译。从非表象要素的视角进行审读，哪些译诗堪称上乘之作呢？

 

静夜思

李白

床前明月光，疑是地上霜。

举头望明月，低头思故乡。

 

1．In the Still of the Night

   I descry bright moonlight in front of my bed. 

I suspect it to be hoary frost on the floor.

    I watch the bright moon, as I tilt back my head.

              I yearn, while stooping, for my homeland more. （徐忠杰译）

居士注：遣词不美。另外，仅仅是为了押韵，末尾的more就显得a bit far fetched。

 

2．A Tranquil Night

Abed, I see a silver light,

    I wonder if it's frost aground.

        Looking up, I find the moon bright;

                     Bowing, in homesickness I'm drowned.  (许渊冲译)

居士注：译诗的节奏和遣词显然胜过第1首。aground / drowned之押韵美哉。尤其是末句——Bowing, in homesickness I'm drowned. 诗意浓郁。

 

3．In the Quiet Night

   So bright a gleam on the foot of my bed—

Could there have been a frost already?

                Lifting my head to look, I found that it was moonlight.

         Sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home.  

                          (Tr. Witter Bynner)

居士注：遣词随便，如I thought suddenly of home.。形容词bright缺乏意境气质。

 

4．Night Thoughts

I wake, and moonbeams play around my bed,

      Glittering like hoar-frost to my wandering eyes;

  Up towards the glorious moon I raise my head,

    Then lay me down—and thoughts of home arise.

                ( Tr. Herbert A. Giles)

居士注：颇有韵味，虽然遣词也没有过多的考虑。译者之译笔游刃有余，有所创造，比如：to my wandering eyes。末句韵味最浓——Then lay me down—and thoughts of home arise.

 

5．On a Quiet Night

I saw the moonlight before my couch,

               And wondered if it were not the frost on the ground.

                I raised my head and looked out on the mountain moon,

                 I bowed my head and though of my far-off home. 

                     (Tr. S. Obata)

居士注：亦有创新，如the mountain moon，这个mountain一添加，就很自然地和下句的my far-off home构成了表象美，同时也构成了非表象美。mountain + moon形象简直呼之欲出；而far-off + home意境则更趋深邃。

 

6．The Moon Shines Everywhere

Seeing the moon before my couch so bright

      I thought hoar frost had fallen from the night.

On her clear face I gaze with lifted eyes:

              Then hide them full of Youth's sweet memories.  

                               (Tr. W.J.B. Fletcher)

居士注：韵味气质，变味了。很遗憾。李白的诗，洋溢广义的美，模糊的美。当然，我们也承认，李白当时当地所思，也许有sweet的成分，也许有her clear face的内容，然而，译者尚不熟悉一个基本的语言哲学理念：模糊（fuzziness）是一种艺术，一种语言美，更是诗歌的美。如此翻译，无异于嚼饭与人。

 

 

7．Night Thoughts

In front of my bed the moonlight is very bright.

I wonder if that can be frost on the floor?

          I lift up my head and look at the full moon, the dazzling moon.

         I drop my head, and think of the home of old days.  

            (Tr. Amy Lowell)

居士注：the dazzling moon属于遣词不当。而the home of old days则缺乏far-off home的神韵气质。

 

8．Thoughts in a Tranquil Night

Athwart the bed

I watch the moonbeams cast a trail

So bright, so cold, so frail,

That for a space it gleams

Like hoarfrost on the margin of my dreams.

I raise my head,—

The splendid moon I see:

Then droop my head,

And sink to dreams of thee—

My fatherland, of thee!  (Tr. L.Cranmer-Byng)

居士注：就表象美而言，有创新。若问翻译有何步骤？答：主要分为理解和表达两步。遗憾的是，译者将“故乡”译成 My fatherland与第6首的her clear face，异曲同工，不过，此“曲”并不妙。

 

9．Nostalgia

A splash of white on my bedroom floor. Hoarfrost?

I raise my eyes to the moon, the same moon.

As scenes long past come to mind, my eyes fall again

on the splash of white, and my heart aches for home.  (翁显良译)

居士注：最佳是开头—A splash of white on my bedroom floor. Hoarfrost? 最陋是结尾 -- my heart aches for home。当然，思乡之情，十有九涩。但绝非一个ache （痛）所能囊括。且情感的这一层纸不能捅破，一旦捅破，诗意全无。

 

10.  Still Night Thoughts

Moonlight in front of my bed—

I took it for frost on the ground!

I lift my eyes to watch the mountain moon,

Lower them and dream of home.  (Tr. Burton Watson)

居士注：朴则近本。

 

11.  Thoughts in a Still Night

The luminous moonshine before my bed,

Is thought to be the frost fallen on the ground.

I lift my head to gaze at the cliff moon,

And then bow down to muse on my distant home.  (孙大雨译)

居士注：两词令全译生辉——the cliff moon / my distant home。

 

12.  Thoughts on a Silent Night

Before my bed is a pool of light;

Can it be frost upon the ground?

Eyes raised, I see the moon so bright;

Head bent, in homesickness I’m drowned.  (许渊冲译)

居士注：就美学表象而言，许教授的此译胜前译也。