【品咂翻译】

桃花源记 / At the Source of Peach Blossom Creek（陶渊明）

– 表层转换乃汉英翻译之敌

手头有《桃花源记》的两个译本（译文1：选自某网站，其译者是：Rick Davis (Japan) with help from David Steelman (Taiwan)；译文2：选自外语教学与研究出版社的《中国文学﹡古代散文选》）。挑灯比读，竟不知天之将明。

译者对英语汉语的美必然见仁见智，其译文也必然各有长短。静心品味，潜心研析，扬两译之长，避彼此之短，创改译之新，不失为翻译一乐，不失为砥砺译技之捷径也。

1．晋太元中，武陵人捕鱼为业。缘溪行﹐忘路之远近，忽逢桃花林。

1/ During the Taiyuan era of the Jin Dynasty there was a man of Wuling who made his living as a fisherman. Once while following a stream he forgot how far he had gone, he suddenly came to a grove of blossoming peach trees.

2/ In the reign of Taiyuan of Jin Dynasty, there was a man of Wuling who was a fisherman by trade. One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when suddenly he came upon a forest of peach trees.

首先，最可玩味的是陶渊明笔下的“忘路之远近，忽逢桃花林”，一个“忽”字，表面看，似乎在讲捕鱼人的感受，其实，“忽”字，虚则虚矣。它与上文的“忘路之远近”，构成呼应，且是下文（寻向所志，遂迷不复得路）之伏笔。一个“忽”字，含几分虚妄，却又言之凿凿。

因此，这个“忽”字，不得不慎译。

两译相比，译2让人叫好 -- One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when suddenly he came upon a forest of peach trees.

转换生成语言学关于句子表层结构与深层结构的理论，对翻译审美活动意义不凡。根据这一理论，翻译审美活动过程就是从一种语言（原文）的表层结构开始，由表及里，由浅入深，探明深层结构，再从深层结构转换到另一种语言（译文）的表层结构。

转换生成语言学认为，同一深层结构可以体现在不同的表层结构中，任何一种语言都如此。这一见解固然有助于正确处理翻译审美再现中内容和形式的问题，然而，更重要的是，这一见解提醒我们：近似的表层结构则完全可能反映不同的深层结构。这一点对于翻译美学具有更积极的意义。如：

When he was digging a trench, his spade struck something hard. = He was digging a trench when his spade struck something hard.

    许多年来，人们对上面两句的深层结构划等号。比如，60 年代出版的在我国影响巨大的葛氏《英语惯用法词典》，就默认了上述等号，认为两句的差异仅在于后者比前者“更普遍”而已。

语言学理论的发展也在不断深化人们对语言现象的认识。70年代再版的美国Random House College Dictionary (p.1498)就对等号后的这种when有了新的释义：upon or after which; and then，并提供了例句：We had just fallen asleep when the bell rung.从释义和例句看，这种居于句中的when含有居于句首的when所不具备的“突然性”。

由Randolph Quirk等四人合著的当代英语鸿著A Grammar of Contemporary English（中译本，p.528）认为：这类出现于句末的when分句所引导的是前面的叙述中所没有提供的新信息。它生动地强调了前述的事件并使之达到高潮。该书提供的例句是：

The last man was emerging from the escape tunnel when a distant shout signaled its discovery by the guard.

表层结构的近似与深层结构的微妙区别对于翻译美学具有更重要的实践意义。

译2使用一个不起眼的when，一个暗示“突然性”的when -- when suddenly he came upon a forest of peach trees，比he suddenly came to a grove of blossoming peach trees的句式要美得多。当然，其美中不足是画蛇添足，多使用了一个suddenly。

其次，译2将“武陵人捕鱼为业”译成… there was a man of Wuling who was a fisherman by trade. 差矣！晋及晋之前的中国社会，还是单一的小农经济社会，“为业”中之“业”尚不能理解为“行业”，或是“职业”。故不宜作表层转换，将之译成by trade。译1之译（who made his living as a fisherman）更可取。

c/ “桃花林”三字，分别被两译译成a grove of blossoming peach trees / a forest of peach trees。后译不如前译，“花”（blossom）应在译文中出现，此“花”与下文的“落英缤纷”，构成呼应之美。

改译：

During the Taiyuan era of the Jin Dynasty there was a man of Wuling who made his living as a fisherman. One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when he came upon a forest of peach trees in blossom.