阴差阳错被安排在情人节下午在小范围里讲我的翻译心得，很不合时宜，估计听者满脑子想的是晚上的浪漫时光。但好处是我把这个旧讲稿重新润色修改了一遍，再讲一遍并听听反响，让我自己又有新的心得。估计这样滚雪球下去能滚出一本小书来也未可知。不过我还是将类似的文学翻译称为decadent art,翻译成中文应该叫"夕阳红艺术",我也就成了decadent artist,呵呵.在如此拜金匆忙享乐的时代,能如此decadent需要多么大的隐士精神才行啊.

Handouts for the

Feb.14 lecture

E-C  Translation: The Literary versus the Literal

Rationale:  a  reformation of Yan Fu’s theory of faithfulness, expressiveness and elegance基本原理：对严复之“信，达，雅”理论的改良，特别是对“雅”的理解

Three ideal levels to achieve in the target language:

1 translation of literature must be a literary product in Chinese,instead of a mere literal artifact – literature is not science

2 fluency, but more desirably competitiveness with literature of the mother tongue – certain Chinese idiomatic usages must be reasonably put in place and certain foreign idiosyncrasy must be reasonably modified for unhindered communication

3 the translated version should be intellectually refined Chinese ,also with exotic features （异域情调）retained (literally translated with footnotes and annotations also proves to be effective at times) so that the text will make a fresh reading experience not only for the content and meaning of the original text but also for the translation as an art (with the intention that  the Chinese language is being enriched by the exotic elements, which can be reasonably integrated into the mother tongue-Chinese being Europeanized , the one important feature of modernization of the Chinese language designated  by May 4^th Movement in 1919 .)

To achieve the goals:

1 a close reading of the original text

2 knowledge of the author’s sentiment and style as revealed in each text

3 research on the author and his cultural personality and his creative background and style

4 creative translating and polishing based on 1-3, following the mood of the author

Sample works by myself for discussion:

1.如果你再到那边去，就去看看伊斯特伍德吧，我在那里出生，长到21岁。去看看沃克街，站在第三座房子前向左边远眺克里契，向前方展望安德伍德，向右首遥望高地公园和安斯里山。我在那座房子里从6岁住到18岁，走遍天下，对那片风景最是了如指掌…… 那是我心灵的故乡。

                                          劳伦斯：致罗尔夫·戈丁纳

If you′re in those parts again, go to Eastwood, where I was born and lived for my first 21 years. Go to Walker Street－and stand in front of the third  house – and look across at Crich on the left, Underwood in front – High Park Woods and Annesley on the right. I lived in that house from the age of 6 to 18, and I know that view better than any in the world…that′s the country of my heart.----D.H.Lawrence to  Rolf Gardiner in 1926

－first不直译，远眺，展望，遥望,-variations for “look across”, －了如指掌for “know better than any”

2.大约44年前我出生于伊斯特伍德 ― 一座矿乡，住着3千来口儿人。它距诺丁汉有8英里左右，一英里开外的伊利沃斯小溪是诺丁汉和达比郡的分界线。这是一片山乡，西边是克里契，16英里开外是麦特洛克，往东和东北方向是曼斯菲尔德和舍伍德林区。在我眼中，它过去是，现在依然是美丽至极的乡村：一边是遍地红砂岩和橡树的诺丁汉郡，另一边是以冷峻的石灰石、桉树和石墙著名的达比郡。儿时和青少年时代的故乡，仍然是森林密布、良田一片的旧农业英格兰，没有汽车，矿井不过是偶尔点缀其间，罗宾汉和他快乐的伙伴离我们并不遥远。

― 劳伦斯：《诺丁汉矿乡杂记》

I was born nearly forty-four years ago, in Eastwood, a mining village of some three thousand souls about eight miles from Nottingham, and one mile from the small stream, the Erewash, which divides Nottinghamshire form Derbyshire. It is hilly country, looking west to Crich and towards Matlock, sixteen miles away, and east and north-east towards Mansfield and the Sherwood Forest district. To me it seemed, and still seems, an extremely beautiful countryside, just between the red sandstone and the oak-trees of Nottingham, and the cold limestone, the ash trees, the stone fences of Derbyshire. To me, as a child and a young man, it was still the old England of the forest and agricultural past, there were no motor cars, the mines were, in a sense, an accident in the landscape, and Robin Hood and his merry men were not very far away.

            － D.H.Lawrence: Nottingham and the Mining Village

第一句太长，不符合中文阅读习惯，所以break sentences-住着，”just between”-change of sentence pattern,因为前面已经说明了“分界线“ ，后面就用”森林密布、良田一片，偶尔点缀其间“－for  readability and style in Chinese

3.这些房子建得挺实惠，也很体面。围着房子转转，看看屋前的小花园，能看到低处那排花园的阴影中生着熊耳朵花和虎尾草，高处那排花园的阳光下盛开着五彩石竹和粉石竹花儿；能看到每家洁净的前窗，娇小的廊檐，低矮的水蜡树篱和阁楼顶上的老虎窗。但那只是房子的外表，由此看到的是矿工的女人们布置的前厅，前厅是不住人的。人们活动的房间，也就是厨房，位于房子的尾部，对着后面一排房子乱糟糟的后花园和炉灰坑。两排房子和长长的炉灰坑之间是胡同通道，孩子们在此玩耍，女人们在此嚼舌头，男人们在此抽烟。村根儿上的生活状况就是这样，尽管房子建得那么好，样子那么雅观，可就是住着不怎么惬意。这是因为，人们得在厨房里过日子，而厨房却面对着那条充斥着炉灰坑的破烂胡同。

                                      劳伦斯：《儿子与情人》第一章

The houses themselves were substantial and very decent. One could walk all around seeing little front gardens with auriculas and saxifrage in the shadow of the bottom block, sweet Williams and pinks in the sunny top block; seeing neat front windows, little porches, little privet hedges, and dormer windows for the attics. But that was outside; that was the view on to the uninhabited parlours of all the colliers’ wives. The dwelling room, the kitchen was at the back of he house, facing inward between the blocks looking at a scrubby back garden and then at the ash pits. And between the rows, between the long lines of ash pits, went the alley, where the children played and the women gossiped and the men smoked. So the actual conditions of living in the Bottoms, that was so well built and looked so nice were quite unsavoury because people must live in the kitchen and the kitchen opened on to that nasty alley of ash pits.

                           - D.H.Lawrence: Sons and Lovers ,Chapter 1

One could walk--change of sentence pattern, 前厅是不住人的,break sentence, emphasis, 活动的房间－加解释，facing inward between-paraphrasing rather than translating,炉灰坑－厕所的代名词

4.人们普遍认为劳伦斯是个愤世嫉俗者，这看法错了。他天性坦诚，像孩子一样好奇。他的心灵压根不复杂。他对大地上普通的生灵报以温情和礼遇……他这人身上有股子自然气息，也就是泥土气。”

                                           诺尔曼·道格拉斯：《回首》

The prevalent conception of Lawrence as a misanthrope is wrong. He was a man of naturally blithe disposition, full of childlike curiosity. The core of his mind was unsophisticated. He touched upon the common things of earth with tenderness and grace… There was something elemental in him, something of the Erdgeist. Norman Douglas: Looking Back

第一第二句句式变化－Chinesed, core-压根，强调；in him-身上，Chinesed，

Erdgeist不直译为地神，否则就要加注解。

5.人们似乎发现很难理解他。可能这是因为我们太习惯于拐弯抹角地获取印象了，一旦过于赤裸直接地接触点什么反会感到刺痛，读劳伦斯的作品就是进行这种赤裸直接的接触。

弗里达·劳伦斯：《查泰莱夫人：序言》

People seem to find it difficult to understand him. Maybe it is that we are so used to getting our impressions in a complicated and indirect way that it hurts us to get too naked and immediate a contact, as in Lawrence’s writing. Frieda Lawrence:  

   Foreword to The First Lady Chatterley 拐弯抹角－idiom,整个第二句改变句式，增加句子，中国化

6. “索默斯先生，现在您明白了吧，我们澳大利亚的工党现今不稳定，也不可靠。为什么？首先，我们没有发出什么声音来。我们需要一个声音。想想看，我们在悉尼连张工党报纸都没有，甚至在澳大利亚也没有。我们还怎么联合起来？没有一个声音将我们召集起来呀。我们为什么不能有自己的报纸？是呀，为什么呢？因为没人发起。像你们伦敦的《每日先驱报》那种满版牢骚的破报纸在我们这儿有什么用？它不会比其它破报纸更让人严肃看待的，那也就不会产生真正的效果。澳大利亚人比英国工人阶级心态更难琢磨，幻灭感更重。你可以向澳大利亚人扔谷壳，他们会一笑了之，他们甚至会佯装啄食。可他们心里一直都明白，并未上当①。办张新闻报会对他们有所帮助的。澳大利亚人天生言谈冷嘲热讽。他们会干傻事的，因为，对他们来说，张三和李四都差不多，他们不在乎。 “那，再扯起一块破红布，可牛却不往上扑，有什么好呢？而且这头澳大利亚牛可能会跟这块破红布逗着玩儿，却不真发脾气。”

__①谷壳(chaff)一词亦表示打趣；be caught with chaff又当“上当“讲。因此这两句话既是双关句又是隐喻句，照字面译出并加注，供读者明察。

劳伦斯：《袋鼠》11章

口语化，情绪化，但又是知识分子的谈话语气，break sentences，但保留英文惯用法以增加异域感，加”吧”，用注解，张三李四－readability, Chinesed in conversation

“Now you know quite well, Mr Somers, we’re an unstable, unreliable body, today, the Labour party here in Australia. And why? Because in the first place we haven’t any voice. We want a voice. Think of it, we’ve got no real Labour newspaper in Sydney - or in Australia. How can we be united? We’ve no voice to call us together. - And why don’t we have a paper of our own? Well, why? Nobody has the initiative. What would be the good, over here, of a grievance-airing rag like your London Daily Herald. It wouldn’t be taken any more seriously than any other rag. It would have no real effect. Australians are a good bit subtler and more disillusioned than the English working classes. You can throw Australians chaff, and they’ll laugh at it. They may even pretend to peck it up. But all the time they know, and they’re not taken in. The Bulletin would soon help them out, if they were. They′ve got a natural sarcastic turn, have the Australians. They’ll do imbecile things: because one thing is pretty well as good as another, to them. They don’t care.” “Then what’s the good starting another Red rag, if the bull won’t run at it. And this Australian bull may play about with a red rag, but it won’t get his real dander up.” D．H．Lawrence: Kangaroo, Chapter 11

7.第十四章 碎闻

   翌日，索默斯再次对自己发起火来。“傻子，我傻透了！”他自言自语着，心里责备着自己。他恶意地扫一眼那一大张摊开的粉红色《悉尼新闻报》，这可是天下唯一真正让他觉得有点看头儿的期刊。英国报纸死气沉沉的，实在难以卒读，让他觉得就象餐馆里的炸鱼圆子，着实让人恶心。英国杂志则废话连篇，愚蠢至极。而这张报纸，虽说充斥着鸡零狗碎的东西，说不上个子丑寅卯，但总算可爱。他喜欢其坦率直言，有火必发的文章。它措辞并不庄重，也不忸怩作态, 只是恬淡，极富幽默感。不错，此时在他熟知的报纸中，他最爱读这张新闻报，尽管它有时虚张声势，特别是有点激进的版面更是如此。不过激进的版面登的只是“文学”类的文章，谁拿文学当回事儿呢？

Bits     The following day Somers felt savage with himself again. “Fool that I am, fool!” he said, mentally kicking himself. And he looked at the big pink spread of his Sydney Bulletin viciously. The Bulletin was the only periodical in the world that really amused him. The horrible stuffiness of English newspapers he could not stand: they had the same effect on him as fish-balls in a restaurant, loathsome stuffy fare. English magazines were too piffling, too imbecile. But the Bully, even if it was made up all of bits, and had neither head nor tail nor feet nor wings, was still a lively creature. He liked its straightforwardness and the kick in some of its tantrums. It beat no solemn drums. It had no deadly earnestness. It was just stoical, and spitefully humorous. Yes, at the moment, he like he Bulletin better than any paper he knew, though even the Bulletin tried a bit of swagger sometimes, especially on the pink page. But then the pink page was just “literary”, and who cares.

- For readability, 尽量多用成语甚至俚语和惯用语

关于散文叙述的节奏：

黑糊糊的砖房，房顶是黑石板铺就，房檐如利刃般发亮，路上的泥里搀杂着煤灰，也黑糊糊，便道也黑糊糊、潮呼呼。这地方看上去似乎一切都让凄凉晦暗浸透了。这情景将自然美彻底泯灭，把生命的快乐彻底消灭，连鸟兽都有的外表美的本能在这里都消失殆尽，人类直觉功能的死亡在这里真是触目惊心……丑陋，丑陋，还是丑陋。

the blackened brick dwellings, the black slate roofs glistening their sharp edges, the mud black with coal-dust, the pavements wet and black. It was as if dismalness had soaked through and through everything. The utter negation of natural beauty, the utter negation of the gladness of life, the utter absence of the instinct for shapely beauty which every bird and beast has, the utter death of the human intuitive faculty as appalling……ugly, ugly, ugly.

                       ---------Lady Chatterley’s Lover

原文中soaked through and through everything声效与节奏同步的短语，应该说是朗朗上口，很难整体效仿，但译文应该尽量做到节奏分明才好，