辛弃疾《清平乐·村居》英译对比资料【旧稿新发】

（曾冲明2017年8月24日凌晨）

      清平乐·村居

                  辛弃疾

茅檐低小，溪上青青草。

醉里吴音相媚好，白发谁家翁媪？

大儿锄豆溪东，中儿正织鸡笼。

最喜小儿亡赖，溪头卧剥莲蓬。(亡：无)

徐忠杰译：

Our thatched house is small;the eaves are hanging low.

Grasses alongside the brook verdant grow.

A white-haired couple, drunk, each other tease,

In their soft Suzhou drawl without cease.

My second son plaits a chicken crate with zest;

My eldest son rids beans, with hoe, of their weeds.

Naughty is my youngest son whom I love best.

Close to the brook, he peels and eats lotus seeds. 

许渊冲译：、

The thatched roof is slanting low;

Beside the brook green grasses grow.

Who talks with drunken Southern voice so sweet?

A white-haired man and his wife in their retreat.

East of the brook their eldest son is hoeing weeds;

Their second son now makes a cage for hens he feeds.

I like their youngest son, who, having nothing done, 

Lies by the brook podding lotus seeds one by one

 

许渊冲，许明译

Pure Serene Music 

Xin Qiji

The thatched roof slants low,

Beside the brook green grasses grow.

Who talks with drunken Southern voice to please?

White-haired man and wife at their ease.

 

East of the brook their eldest son is hoeing weeds;

Their second son now makes a cage for hens he feeds.

How pleasant to see their spoiled youngest son who heeds

Nothing but lies by brookside and pods lotus seeds!

 Hui译：

 Life in a village (Tune of Qingpingyue )

       By Xin Qiji (1140-1207) (Song Dynasty)

       Translated by Hui 

A hut, small and its eaves, lower. 

Beside the brook green grasses grow. 

Wu accent with a drunken tone sound so sweet and tender . 

Who are they, the white-hair grandpa and grandma?

The eldest son is hoeing beans east of the brook.

The second son is weaving a chicken cage. 

The funnist one is the youngest son 

who is lying by the end of the brook and peeling lotus seed  pods.

黎历译：

The eave of the thatched hut is low (A)

On brook side green grasses grow (A)

Drunk, soft and sweet Wu voice they share (B)

Who’re the old couple with hoar hair (B) 

East of creek hoeing bean field the eldest son (C)

While at home weaving hen coop the middle one (C)

The most pampered and idle youngest son (C)

Lying on creek side pods lotus seeds for fun (C)

译于2018年2月22日星期四

 

曾冲明译：【主要参考许老译文，但以单音押韵】

         His Life in the Countryside

The small hut has a roof slant and low.

By the creek there grasses green grow.

Who speaks with Wu dialect' accent drunken?

The old man with old wife as his companion.

East of the creek the eldest son hoe weeds.

The second son makes a cage for chickens.

The youngest son they love best does nothing.

He lies by the creek, breaking lotus and playing.

【曾冲明对比后记】徐忠杰先生的译文也是佳品。看来他还是领先带头（不知此诗有无更先译者，特别是英美人士译者），更难能可贵。其他翻译家，比如许老，都借鉴、甚至采用他的译法甚至关键词汇。如“小溪”、“剥莲蓬”等。