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电话铃声响起的时候(2/2)对照读物

(2008-12-16 18:52:02)
标签:

英汉对照读物

文化

分类: 美哉英语

When The Telephone Rang(2/2)
电话铃声响起的时候
By Melody Beattie

When they turned off the machine, a whiff of air escaped from his lungs, and he didn’t move again. I knew then he hadn’t moved again. I knew then he hadn’t been breathing, hadn’t been alive for days. The machines had made it look that way, but it wasn’t so.
当他们拔掉呼吸器,一股空气从他肺里溜走,他不再动弹。我知道他再也不会动了。我知道他已经好几天没有呼吸,没有生命体征了。这些设备让他看上去还活着,但事实并非如此。

Walking out of the room and out of the hospital was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
走出病房和医院是我一生中最艰难的事。

Losing Nichole. We had balloons at Shane’s funeral. When the children were little, they loved balloons. If they lost one into the air, I would comfort them by saying, “That’s okay. God catches all your balloons, and when you get to heaven, you get a big bouquet of every balloon you’ve ever lost. So don’t cry. They’ll all be there waiting for you.”
失去尼科尔。我们在沙恩的葬礼上布置了许多气球。孩子们小时候都喜欢气球。如果他们的气球飞上了天,我会安抚他们说:“没关系。上帝会把你们丢的气球都收集起来。当你们到了天堂,你们会得到一大堆曾经丢失的气球。所以不要哭。它们会在那儿等着你们。”

The sky was clear that February day as hundreds of balloons sailed up and up until eventually they passed beyond where we could see.
那个二月,如洗的碧空,宛如有千百只气球向上飘呀飘,到头来,飘出了我们的视线,无影无踪。

In the months that followed, I missed Shane terribly. Missed his presence, his voice, the touch of him. Some nights I lay awake until the morning, trying to penetrate the veil that divides this world from the next. But Shane felt far away. Gone forever. All meaning had been drained from my life.
此后数月,我陷入疯狂的思念中。沙恩的音容笑貌,举手投足都让我难以忘怀。多少个夜晚,我失眠到天明,试图看透隔离这个世界和另一个世界的那层薄纱。但沙恩已经远离,永远地离开了。生命的全部意义都已被吸干抽尽了。

Nichole was also having a bad time. Occasionally we’d cry together, but as time wore on, I realized I was losing Nichole too. We began arguing. She refused to do homework and skipped school. I didn’t like the new crowd of friends she started running with. They were surly, sometimes downright rude. I tried forbidding her to see them anymore, but it didn’t work.
尼科尔正在经历一段艰难的时光。有时我们会一起痛哭,可随着时间慢慢流逝,我还发觉我在失去尼科尔。我们开始争吵。她不做功课,逃学。我不喜欢她交往的那帮新朋友。他们粗鲁,彻头彻尾的粗鲁。我禁止她再去见他们,却没有丝毫效果。

We were each adrift in our own cold, dark sea, unable to help each other, unable to do much but swim for our lives. Sometimes we’d bob to the surface, reach out, touch each other’s hands and say, “I love you.”
我们各自漂浮在自己冰冷黑暗的大海里,无法互助,无所作为,只能为了活命而向前游。有时我们浮出海面,碰碰彼此的手,道一声“我爱你”。

On one such occasion, six months after Shane’s death, Nichole said to me, “Mom, some people think things like this get better with time. But in some ways it gets worse. I miss Shane more every day he’s gone.”
沙恩离开六个月后,有一次,尼科尔对我说:“妈妈,有些人以为时间可以治愈一切。可有时却更糟。沙恩死后,我对他的思念与日俱增。

Most of the time, however, we each struggled alone.
然而,大多数时候,我们却各自在痛苦中挣扎。

“I need help.” One night Nichole came home late. When I tried talking to her, she started giggling, then blew me a kiss. She reeked of alcohol.
“我需要帮助。”一天晚上,尼科尔回来得很晚。我正要和她说话,她却开始痴痴地笑,然后突然吻了我一下,一身酒气。

The next day we had a talk. I set some ground rules, trying to be clear and reasonable. I insisted she see a counselor, but she didn’t want to go.
第二天,我们进行了一次谈话。我跟她约法三章,尽量清晰合理。我坚持让她见辅导员,但她不肯去。

I asked her how much she’d been drinking. She named only two other occasions in the past year: the day after the funeral and once last summer. She assured me she was doing all right.
我问她喝了多少次酒。她声称过去一年里只在其他场合喝了两次:一次是在沙恩葬礼后,一次在上个夏天。她保证她一直都没犯错。

Then one afternoon the following winter, I was in the kitchen when the door flew open. “I need to talk to you,” Nichole said. “I don’t know how to say this, but I can’t control myself when I drink. Sometimes I go blank, and the next day I can’t remember anything. I’m scared. I need help.”
又一个冬天的下午,我正在厨房里,门突然开了。“我得跟你谈谈,”尼科尔说,“可我不知道怎么开口,我喝酒的时候控制不了自己。有时,我喝得晕头转向,头脑空白。到了第二天,什么也想不起来。我害怕。我需要帮助。”

“Okay,” I said, not knowing what else to offer.
“好吧。”我说,我不知道还能做什么。

“I’m starting to hate myself,” she went on. “I’ve been looking you right in the face and lying to you about where I’m going and what I’m doing, I’ve also used cocaine and marijuana.”
“我开始痛恨我自己,”她继续说, “我看着你的脸,欺骗你我去了哪,做了什么,我还吸可卡因和大麻。”

The next day I admitted her to an inpatient chemical dependency treatment center for young people. Hugging her goodbye, I held her close. “It’ll be all right, baby,” I said. “It’s a new beginning, the start of the rest of your life.”
次日,我送她到青少年住院戒毒中心。我紧紧地拥抱她,跟她道别。“会没事的,宝贝,”我说,“这是个全新的开始,你新生活的开始。”

“I’ve hurt you,” she said. “I feel so bad, I want you to be proud of me someday, Mom.”
“我伤害了你,”她说,“我很难过,我希望有一天可以成为你的骄傲,妈妈。”

“I’m proud of you now, honey,” I whispered.
“我现在就以你为荣,亲爱的。”我轻声说。

It was a strange time when Nichole was in treatment. I wandered around our house all alone but didn’t feel lost as I had before. I found something I thought I’d never find again — calmness, a sense of peace.
尼科尔接受治疗期间,对我而言,那是段特殊的日子。我独自在房子里四下走动,却不像之前那样若有所失。我找到了我以为再也找不回的东西——平静,一种安宁的感觉。

The last balloon. Christmas, the second since Shane’s death, was a quiet day. I brought Nichole’s presents to her at the treatment center. “Mom, I’m happy I’m here”, she said. “I feel like a new person.”
最后的气球。沙恩离开后的第二个圣诞节,那天非常平静。我带了礼物去治疗中心看尼科尔。“妈妈,我在这很开心,”她说,“我感觉重获新生。”

The following week was family conference, something I dreaded. This was the day the dirty laundry got hung out to air in a private session between parent, child and counselor.
下周将开家长会,这正是我害怕的。在这一天,家长、孩子和辅导员会在私下碰头,历数桩桩丑事。

I walked into the small office and sat across from Nichole. The counselor, a woman with short hair, sat to the side. “Tell her,” she said to Nichole.
我走进一个小办公室,在尼科尔的对面坐下。辅导员,一位短头发的女士,坐在她的旁边。“告诉你妈妈。”她对尼科尔说。

Nichole’s chin started trembling, and her hands shook. Her voice was soft in the beginning. “I’m sorry, Mom,” she said. “I feel so guilty, so bad. I tried to drink it away. I tried to drug it away.”
尼科尔的下巴开始抽畜,双手也在发颤。一开始,她的声音软弱无力。“对不起,妈妈,”她说,“我感到很内疚,很难过,我试图用酒精和毒品来打发这种感觉。”

Then she stood up and was yelling. “This whole nightmare is all my fault! You told me to be home by six that night. That’s the last thing you said before we walked out that door. And if I had listened, if I had come home when you said, Shane wouldn’t be dead now. I’m so, so sorry, Mom.”
她站了起来,嚷道:“这整个噩梦都是我的错!你叫我那晚六点前要回家的。这是我们走出家门前你说的最后一句话。如果我听你的话,如果我按时回来,沙恩就不会死。我真的,真的很抱歉,妈妈。”

The next thing I knew, I was holding her. Her body shook so hard I could barely keep my arms around her.
接下来的事情我知道,我抱着她。她的身体那么剧烈地颤抖,我的双臂无法抱紧她。

I told her it was an accident; it was nobody’s fault. Then before I left, I wrote her a note:
我告诉她那是一个意外,没有人错呀!在我离开前,我给她留了张纸条:

“Dear Nichole, I love you very much. I always have. I always will. And if you had called me that night to ask if you could ski later than 6 p.m., I would have said yes. You didn’t cause this, baby. And don’t ever again think you did. Love, Mom.”
“亲爱的尼科尔,我很爱你。以前是,将来也是。如果那晚你打电话问我是否可以滑到6点以后,我也会同意的。那不是你造成的,孩子。不要再那么想了。爱你的,妈妈。”

When I got home, the telephone rang. “Thank you, Mom,” Nichole said. “Thank you so much. That note means a lot, more than anything.”
我回到家的时候,电话铃响了。“谢谢你,妈妈。”尼科尔说,“真的很感谢你。那纸条意味深长,无与伦比。”

Right then and there I learned how important it is to get rid of useless guilt. Hers and mine.
此时此刻我发现摆脱毫无意义的愧疚是多么的重要,无论是她还是我。

There are seasons of the heart. There are seasons in our lives, just as there are seasons to all of nature. These seasons cannot be forced any more than one can force the coming of spring by pulling at tender blades of grass to make them grow. It took me awhile to understand.
心有四季。生活也有四季,就如自然界万物都有春夏秋冬一样。四季无法人为地加以改变,就如一个人无法用拔苗助长的方法强令春天到来一样。我经过了好一阵子才懂得了这一点。

I felt a lightness that I hadn’t felt in years. Maybe ever. I wondered how long, how long really, I had struggled to get this lesson right.
轻松感觉,涌上心头,多年来未曾感受到的轻松,也许是从未感受到的轻松。我不禁感叹,为了获得这宝贵的一课,我已经花了太久,真的,太久的时间!

I didn’t have to scramble up and down the mountain from despair to euphoria anymore, trying to convince myself that life was either painful and terrible or joyous and wonderful. The simple truth was that life was both, I hadn’t come here to live happily ever after, although I now sensed I could.
我不再需要在绝望的山谷和欢欣的巅峰之间上下攀爬,试图确信生活要么痛苦不堪,要么快乐无比。事实,其实很简单,生活充满了酸甜苦辣。此后,我尚未抵达幸福生活的境界,尽管现在我领悟到了——我能。

Nichole came home in January. We vowed to have the best year a mother and daughter ever had. To celebrate her homecoming, we had a party with her friends. It was a grand day.
尼科尔一月份回到家中。我们发誓这是母女俩拥有的最美好的一年。为了庆祝她回家,我们和她的朋友举办了一次派对。愉快的一天。

The time had come, I realized, to release my balloon, the one I had been carrying since the day of Shane’s funeral. To let my heart rise up in joy and hope, the way I thought it never would again.
是时候了,我意识到,是时候放飞我的气球了,那只气球,自沙恩下葬时起,就紧拽在我的手里。让我心升腾,在欢快和希望中升腾 — 我曾经以为,我心将永远不会如此升腾。

So I let it go. “Thank you for my life,” I whispered into the air.
于是,我放飞了气球。“感谢你,我的生活。”我对着天空低语。

I was surprised to find I meant it. 
我惊讶地发现,此乃心言。

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