一个老情妇对年轻妻子的忠告（2/5）

By Michael Drury

    Not by Bread Alone. Marriage is unquestionably more convenient than a love affair. That in itself ought to warn a wise wife against letting it become a mere convenience, like a membership in a good club.

    婚姻不是例行公事。无疑，风流韵事要偷偷摸摸，而婚姻生活则简单得多。正因为此，一个聪明的妻子应该引起警惕，不要让婚姻生活仅仅流于形式，就好像一个高档俱乐部的成员一样。

    Being a mistress is bad for society—and for one’s children, home, security, old age. But a love affair imparts adventure, and adventure is as needful to the soul as food is to the body.

    情妇是一种社会危害，对一个人的孩子、家庭、安全感和晚年来说都是如此。但是这种风花雪月给了人们一种刺激感，我们内心深处对冒险的渴求就好像我们身体对食物的需要一样。

    Men and women are both taught to put aside adventure with adolescence. But if a man does not live by bread alone, neither does he by a paycheck and enough insurance and coming home at the same time each day. Men — and women — must be bold or die inside. Marriage produces its own downfall when it tries to prevent boldness and sew up the future, and daring and hope, in a bag.

    男人，女人在成长的过程中都被告知不要冒险。然而，一个人并不是仅仅依靠面包生活，也不是靠着薪金，充裕的保险以及每天按时回家来过日子。男人，还有女人，都得敢作敢为，否则，其心将死。如果婚姻扼杀敢作敢为，或者把前途、勇气和希望都封杀了，那么婚姻将走向没落。

    On Being Loved. A successful mistress knows how to be loved; it seldom occurs to a wife that it is necessary to learn. Few things could be more misleading than the precept that the way to be loved is—just to love.

    应当学会被爱。一个成功的情人知道如何来获得宠爱；而一名妻子很少想到这也是需要学习的。只要去爱就能得到爱，没有比这更误导人的箴言了。

    If there is a secret to being loved it lies in not having to be loved. It is this ability a mistress must accommodate. Once she understands that were the love affair to end, she herself would survive, she has the power to be loved, almost to command it.

    如果有什么秘诀来得到宠爱那就是不强求被爱。这是一个情人必须掌握的能力。一旦她知道那些风流往事已成过眼云烟时，她会泰然处之，她就是有这种惹人怜爱的本领，几乎是谙于此道。

    We are responsible for ourselves. The men and women who face this fact without blinking are the most attractive people on earth. They will always be loved, because they have learned how.

我们要对自己负责。能正视这些问题眼皮也不眨的男女就是这世上最有魅力的人。他们总是被人喜爱，因为他们知道如何去做。

    On Keeping Love. A man I once knew returned from war duty on unexpected leave to find his wife living with another man. Stunned and furious, he threw the man out, bodily, then walked away himself. Months passed while he delayed action on the pending divorce, and when I asked him why, he said, “I know it doesn’t make sense. I’m through-- there’s no doubt. Only I would have sworn I knew her down to her fingertips. That I obviously didn’t makes me — well, half-attracted again. She’s like a stranger.”

    魅力来自“犹抱琵琶半遮面”。我曾经认识一个在服役的男子意外请假回到家里,却发现自己的妻子和另一个男人同居！他惊呆了，然后怒不可遏地将那男子整个扔了出去，接着他自己也离去了。几个月过去，在待决的离婚中他却迟迟没有采取行动。当被问及为什么时，他说：“我明白这毫无意义，我已经想开了——这没什么可疑问的。只是我曾经满以为我对她了如指掌。显然，我不了解她，这个事实，怎么说呢，使我又有几分被她吸引住了。她就像一个路人。”