一个老情妇对年轻妻子的忠告（1/5）

By Michael Drury

    英语单词mistress的含义可以是“（一家的）主妇”，也可以是“情妇”。笔者一位友人将本文标题中的mistress理解为前者，所以，就难以理解和赏读全文。

何谓情妇（mistress）?《现代汉语词典》对“情妇”的解释是：男女两人，一方或双方已有配偶，他们之间发生性爱的违法行为，女方是男方的情妇。

    作者Michael Drury,一个男性化的名字，其实，是一位女性。她是一位freelance writer(不受雇于人的自由作家)。

    作者如何会沦为“情妇”？她坦诚撩起了“隐私”的面纱：

    I was once a wife, too, and in love---but childlessness wrecked our marriage. Eventually we divorced---against my wishes at first, though the marriage was by then a shell.

    In two years’ time, I met a man through work. He was married, and I knew he world never of his own accord undo it. So when he suggested a relationship between us. I was astonished. What we did was wrong.

    不少国人对性开放的西方社会历来心存误解，好像“情妇”现象是西方社会所容忍、所欣赏的。否！上段的末句（What we did was wrong）就是一明证。

文章在别处还写道：

    …society assumes that because a mistress is in the wrong, she has nothing to say to a woman in the right.

Being a mistress is bad for society—and for one’s children, home, security, old age.

    由此可见，西方社会对“情妇”现象持完全否定的态度，并认为此现象为害甚烈。

    那么，作为一名遭受社会谴责的“情妇”，怎么有资格对young wife进行说教呢？其说教的内容又是什么呢？——这正是本文的价值与可读性之所在。

    Michael Drury成此文时，也许垂垂老矣。回首“情妇”生涯，坎坷人生，百感齐袭！人之将死，其言也善。

    刊登本文的美国一家著名期刊，使用一句话总结本文：Surprising insight from a surprising source。

    细读此文，对千千万万初为人妻者，也许会在她们的心灵之海激起层层涟漪。

    此文出自作家之手，文字功力自然不凡。虽然本文观点不尽适合国人的婚姻生活，但是，读者仍可发现本文积极观点叠现，有益建议层出：

    1/ 婚姻不是例行公事

    2/ 应当学会被爱

    3/ 魅力来自“犹抱琵琶半遮面”

    4/ 为妻者不必置喙丈夫事业

    5/  计划未来，毋忘立足目前

    6/ 不要让“爱”淹没在家务中

    7/ 性生活应体现想象与活力

    8/ 不要注重表象的和谐

    9/ 妻子应有个人爱好

    文章弥漫着一种含蓄美，朦胧中，读者可以见仁见智，本文好像是专门写给女同胞，尤其是新婚女子的，它的结尾经得起仔细琢磨：

    When one is young, and a new wife, it is easy to forget that the first and last requirement is to be a woman.

    真是耐人寻味的结尾！读者朋友，您同意吗？

----

    I am more like you that you might suppose. I was once a wife, too, and in love---but childlessness wrecked our marriage. Eventually we divorced---against my wishes at first, though the marriage was by then a shell.

    我远比你想象的更像你。我也一样曾是位妻子，沐浴在爱河中。但婚后无子的生活使我们的婚姻陷入了危机。尽管婚姻有如一层空壳，起先我也并不同意，不过最终我们还是离婚了。

    In two years’ time, I met a man through work. He was married, and I knew he would never of his own accord undo it. So when he suggested a relationship between us. I was astonished. What we did was wrong; we made no defense for it.

    两年之后，我在工作中结识了一个已婚男人，我知道他绝无可能自愿地解除婚约。所以当他希望我们俩进一步交往时，我很惊讶。我们的所作所为是一种错误，根本无法为它做任何辩解。

    1 was once young and now I am old. From my mountain peak of years of experience, I can only conclude that if a mistress knows more of romance and a wife more of practicalities, there is some wholeness there worth exploring. Wives and mistresses can learn from one another. But they rarely do, since society assumes that because a mistress is in the wrong, she has nothing to say to a woman in the right. But she does.

    我也曾年轻过，现在却垂垂老矣。根据我多年的生活经验，我只能作这样的总结，如果一个情人谙熟浪漫，一个主妇精通家政，那么，两者的结合是值得探讨的。妻子和情人间可以相互学习，但是她们很少这么做。因为社会普遍认为情妇是一种错误的存在，她在良家妇女面前没有发言权。但事实上她有。