酒吧里的乡巴佬

鸭绒25（译）

2024年11月9日

一天下午，酒保正在洗杯子。这时，一位爱尔兰老人走了进来。

这位爱尔兰老人费了好大劲，才把他那条受伤的腿抬到吧凳上。他痛苦地挺直着他的身体，要了一小口爱尔兰威士忌。

这位爱尔兰老人顺着吧台看去，说：“那边是耶稣吗？”

酒保点了点头。

于是，爱尔兰老人让酒保也给耶稣一份爱尔兰威士忌。

下一位进来的顾客是一位体弱多病的驼背意大利人。

他走得很慢。几乎是拖着他的脚走到吧台凳前，要了一杯基安蒂红葡萄酒。

他也看了看吧台，问坐在吧台尽头的是不是耶稣。

酒保点了点头。

于是，意大利人让酒保也给他一杯基安蒂红葡萄酒。

第三个进入酒吧的是个乡巴佬。

他大摇大摆地走进酒吧，大喊：“酒保，给我来一杯冰镇啤酒！嘿，那边是上帝的儿子吗？”

酒保点了点头。

乡巴佬就让酒保也给耶稣来一杯冰镇啤酒。

耶稣起身离开时，走到爱尔兰人身边，摸了摸他，说：“看在你仁慈的份上，你痊愈了！”

爱尔兰人感到腿上又有了力气。于是，站起来，跳着吉格舞出了门。

耶稣摸了摸意大利人，说：“看在你仁慈的份上，你痊愈了！”

意大利人感到后背挺直了。于是，他把手举过头顶，翻身出了门。

耶稣朝乡巴佬走去。

但是，乡巴佬跳起来，退后一步，大喊：“别碰我！我正在申请残障福利！”

注：1）“Chianti（基安蒂酒）”是产自意大利基安蒂地区的红葡萄酒。已有上百年的历史，是世界驰名的红葡萄酒名称。2）“Jig（吉格舞）”是一种复拍子的活泼民间舞蹈。16世纪起源于英伦群岛地区，尤以爱尔兰为盛。后流传至欧洲大陆。

原文： Redneck at a Bar

A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in。

With great difficulty，the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool，pulled himself up painfully，and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey。

The Irishman looked down the bar and said：“Is that Jesus down there？”

The bartender nodded，so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey，too。

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back，who moved very slowly。

He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti。

He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar。

The bartender nodded，so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti，too。

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck，who swaggered into the bar and hollered：“Barkeep，set me up a cold one！Hey，is that God's Boy down there？”

The barkeep nodded，so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one，too。

As Jesus got up to leave，he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said：“For your kindness，you are healed！”

The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg，so he got up and danced a jig out the door。

Jesus touched the Italian and said：“For your kindness，you are healed！”

The Italian felt his back straighten，so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door。

Jesus walked toward the redneck，but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed：“Don't touch me！I'm drawing disability！”