加载中…【转】关于心理学概念“自我慈悲”的一些翻译
(2014-03-15 08:17:28)
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心理健康健康逆境生活哲学杂谈教育 |
西方心理学界近些年对于从佛教概念而起源的Self-compassion的研究逐渐增多，近来因为Dr.
Kristin
Neff的面对大众的著作，以及相关题材的电影的拍摄，这个概念得到更广泛的传播。当然，这也很快流传到中国，在谷歌所搜索到的地方，出现很多“自我同情”相关的词条，各种网络中英或英汉词典，也如是翻译。
既然是佛教词语，同情似乎不是对应于“compassion”的恰当的译法。“慈悲”是佛教的核心教义之一，而“compassion”是英文与之对应的词汇。难道“慈悲”留洋走了一圈，回到中国就变成“同情”了？“同情”一词，在古时有“感同身受”的含义，而今则在此之外又加了一丝高高在上的优越感，增加了一点可怜的感觉，更加远离慈爱、友善的意味。compassion的含义则在对人或其他生命的同情之外还有希望使其境遇改善的愿望，所以使用“慈悲”或许更恰当一些。
再看 Dr.
Kristin Neff的介绍：
For many years self-esteem was seen to be the key to psychological wellbeing. More recently, however, researchers have identified several downsides to the pursuit of self-esteem such as narcissism, bullying, and contingent self-worth. Research suggests that self-compassion is a healthier way of relating to oneself. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kindly, like we would a close friend we cared about. Rather than making global evaluations of ourselves as “good” or “bad,” self-compassion embraces our human imperfection, enabling us to be present with the inevitable struggles of life with greater ease.
“多年来自尊被认为是心理健康的关键。然而近来研究者们发现自尊导致自恋、霸道，以及权变性自我价值。研究认为self-compassion是更健康的对待自我的方式。Self-compassion要求对我们自己友善，如同对待自己关心的亲密的朋友。Self-compassion不对自己做”好“或”坏“的整体评价，而是拥抱我们自身的人性的不完美，使我们能够更容易地面对不可避免的人生奋斗。。。。。。”
，
那么，学习一下自我慈悲可能很有益处。反之，如果一个人从来不会自我反省，或者觉得自己有什么不对，那么，学习自我慈悲对此人将没有太大用处。
既然是佛教词语，同情似乎不是对应于“compassion”的恰当的译法。
再看
For many years self-esteem was seen to be the key to psychological wellbeing. More recently, however, researchers have identified several downsides to the pursuit of self-esteem such as narcissism, bullying, and contingent self-worth. Research suggests that self-compassion is a healthier way of relating to oneself. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kindly, like we would a close friend we cared about. Rather than making global evaluations of ourselves as “good” or “bad,” self-compassion embraces our human imperfection, enabling us to be present with the inevitable struggles of life with greater ease.
“多年来自尊被认为是心理健康的关键。然而近来研究者们发现自尊导致自恋、霸道，以及权变性自我价值。
Self-compassion
（二）：定义
http://www.self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/definition-of-self-compassion.html
自我慈悲的定义
（Kristin Neff博士）
对自己慈悲与对他人慈悲没有实质的区别。试想一下慈悲的感觉。首先，对他人慈悲必须先注意到他人的苦难。如何你无视街上的流浪者，那么你无法对他/她的艰难境遇感到同情。其次，慈悲牵涉因他人的苦难而引起的触动以至于你的心里因他人的痛苦而痛苦（compassion的字面词义是“共同受苦”）。此时，你感到温暖，关心，并且希望以某种方式帮助这位遭受苦难的人。慈悲心同时意味着你对他人的理解和友善---当他们失败或者犯错的时候，而不是对他们进行严厉评判。最后，当你对他人感到慈悲（而非仅是怜悯），这意味着你意识到苦难、失败以及不完美都是共同的人类体验的一部分。“假如不是幸运，我也会变成那样。”
（注：这是一句歌词）
Definition
of self-compassion
Having
compassion for oneself is really no different than having
compassion for others. Think about what the experience of
compassion feels like. First, to have compassion for others you
must notice that they are suffering. If you ignore that homeless
person on the street, you can’t feel compassion for how difficult
his or her experience is. Second, compassion involves feeling moved
by others' suffering so that your heart responds to their pain (the
word compassion literally means to “suffer with”). When this
occurs, you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the
suffering person in some way. Having compassion also means that you
offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make
mistakes, rather than judging them harshly. Finally, when you feel
compassion for another (rather than mere pity), it means that you
realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the
shared human experience. “There but for fortune go
I.”
自我慈悲意味着以同样方式对待你自己，当你遇到困难、挫败或者注意到你不喜欢的自己身上的某一特点的时候。你不是以自我约束控制的态度无视自己的痛苦，而是停下来，告诉你自己“现在确实很难，”
在此时刻我怎样安慰和关心我自己？不是对自己的不当和缺点进行无情的评判和自我批评， 自我慈悲意味着你会友善而且理解，当你面对个人的挫败
--- 归根结底，谁规定你必须完美呢？你当然可以试图在一些方面进行改变以使自己更加健康和幸福，
但是你是为了关心自己而如此，而不是因为你现在的自己毫无价值或者不可接受。或许更重要的是，对自己慈悲意味着你接受自己的人类特性并以此为荣。事情不会总是按照你的意愿发展。你会遇到挫折，遭遇丧亡，你会出错，面对个人局限，达不到你自己的理念。这就是人类的情况，是所有人所共同面临的现实。你越是开放心怀接受现实，而不是不断与之对抗，你就越能够在人生的体验中感到对自己的以及对于所有人类同胞的慈悲。
Self-compassion
involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a
difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about
yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper
lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult
right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various
inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind
and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after
all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? You may try to
change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but
this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are
worthless or unacceptable as you are. Perhaps most importantly,
having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your
humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You
will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make
mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your
ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us.
The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly
fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion
for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of
life.
Self-compassion
（三）：三个要素
原文在：
http://www.self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion.html
The three elements of self-compassion
自我慈悲的三个要素
Self-kindness. Self-compassion entails being warm and
understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel
inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves
with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people
recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life
difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with
themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than
getting angry when life falls short of set ideals. People cannot
always be or get exactly what they want. When this reality is
denied or fought against suffering increases in the form of stress,
frustration and self-criticism. When this reality
is accepted with sympathy and kindness, greater emotional
equanimity is experienced.
自我友善。自我慈悲要求我们在遇到苦难、失败或者感觉无能为力的时候，对自己要热情（或温暖）并且要理解，
而不是直接忽略自己的痛苦或者以自我批判来鞭笞自己。自我慈悲的人们能够认识到不完美、失败或者遭遇困境是不可避免的，
所以他们在遭遇痛苦经历时对自己更加温和而不是因为不如意而发怒。人生不可能事事如意。当一个人拒绝这个事实或与之争斗，苦难就会以紧张、挫败或者自我批判的方式发生。如果以同情和友善的心态接受这个事实，人们就能体验到更加安宁平和的心情。
Common humanity. Frustration at not having things exactly as
we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense
of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making
mistakes. All humans suffer, however. The very
definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable
and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion
involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part
of the shared human experience - something that we all go through
rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.
It also means recognizing that personal thoughts,
feelings and actions are impacted by “external” factors such as
parenting history, culture, genetic and environmental conditions,
as well as the behavior and expectations of others.
Thich Nhat Hahn calls the intricate web of
reciprocal cause and effect in which we are all imbedded
“interbeing.” Recognizing our essential
interbeing allows us to be less judgmental about our personal
failings. After all, if we had full control over our behavior, how
many people would consciously choose to have anger issues,
addiction issues, debilitating social anxiety, eating disorders,
and so on? Many aspects of ourselves and the
circumstances of our lives are not of our choosing, but instead
stem from innumerable factors (genetic and/or environmental) that
we have little control over. By recognizing our
essential interdependence, therefore, failings and life
difficulties do not have to be taken so personally, but can be
acknowledged with non-judgmental compassion and
understanding.
共同人性（人类共性）。 因不如意而产生的挫败感常常伴随着不理智但却无边无际的孤独感 –
就像只有“我”一个人在遭受苦难或者做错事情。然而，所有人类都会受苦。“人类”的特有定义是人终有一死、易受伤害、并且不完美。因此，自我慈悲需要认识到受苦与无奈是人类共有体验的一部分
—
是大家都有的经历，而非“我”独特的遭遇。它同时意味着需要认识到个人的思考、感觉和行为都被外界因素所影响，如历史、文化、基因和环境条件，以及他人的行为和期待。
Thich Nhat Hahn
称之为错综复杂的因果关系网，而我们都是嵌在其中的相互关联的存在。认识到这一点就可以减少对个人的失败进行的批判。归根结底，如果我们都对自己行为有完全掌控，有多少人会清醒地选择出现怒气失控、上瘾、虚弱性社会焦虑症、厌食症，
等等？我们自己的许多方面以及我们生活的周边环境不由我们选择，而是因无数不可控因素（基因或环境）衍生而成。要认识到人们必要的互相依赖，因此，不应把失败和人生的困难看成是针对本人，而是以一种非评判的慈悲和理解来接受这一点。
Mindfulness. Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced
approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither
suppressed nor exaggerated. This equilibrated
stance stems from the process of relating personal experiences to
those of others who are also suffering, thus putting our own
situation into a larger perspective. It also stems from the
willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with
openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness.
Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one
observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to
suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel
compassion for it at the same time. At the same
time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with
thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by
negative reactivity.
心智觉知。自我慈悲同样要求以一种平衡的方式来对待消极情绪，既不压抑也不夸大。这种平衡的立场可以通过这种方式得到：即把个人体验以及那些有类似受苦经历的人相联系，以此把个人的状况放在一个更广的远景来考虑。它同样可以来自我们自愿对消极的思想和情绪以坦率而清晰的方式进行观察，以使之被自己的心智察觉。心智觉知是一种无偏见、包容的心态，一个人可以观察思维和感觉原本的样子，而不是压抑或否定他们。我们不可能一边无视我们的痛苦一边同时对此感觉慈悲。与此同时，心智觉知要求我们不要过于认同这些思绪和感觉，以至于陷入其中并被消极的反应带走。
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