Thursday

星期四

Dad is giving this diet thing another try, and that’s bad news for me. He’s gone about three days without eating any chocolate, and he’s been SUPER cranky.

老爸又开始努力节食了，但这对我来说却是个坏消息。他已经3天没吃巧克力了，还特别古里古怪的。

The other day, after Dad woke me up and told me to get ready for school, I accidentally fell back asleep. Believe me, that the last time I’ll make THAT mistake.

这天老爸把我叫醒，说要准备上学了，我却一不小心又睡着了。我向你保证，我再也不会犯这种错误了。

Part of the problem is that Dad always wakes me up before Mom’s out of the shower, so I know that I still have like ten more minutes before I need to get out of bed for real.

可是还有一个问题，老爸弄醒我的时候，老妈冲澡还没出来，所以我知道自己还有10多分钟的样子才需要真的起床呢。

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   Yesterday I came up with a pretty good way to get some extra sleep time without making Dad mad. After he woke me up, I took all of my blankets down the hall with me and waited outside the bathroom for my turn in the shower.

昨天我想出了一个挺好的办法，既能让我多睡一会儿又不至于让老爸生气：老爸叫醒我以后，我裹着所有的毯子到客厅里，就这么在浴室外面等着，一直等到该我冲澡的时候。

Then I lay down right on top of the heater vent. And when the furnace was blowing, the experience was even BETTER than being in bed.

我就这么躺在暖气片上。热风机吹着热风，这感觉可比躺在床上还舒服呢。

The problem was, the heat only stayed on for about five minutes at a time. So when the furnace wasn’t running, I was just lying there on this cold piece of metal.

问题是，热气有时候大约只保持了5分钟，只要热风机不再工作，我可就算是躺在冰冷的金属上面了。

This morning, while I was waiting for Mom to be done with her shower, I remembered someone gave her a bathrobe for Christmas. So I went into her closet and got it.

这天早晨在浴室外面等老妈冲完澡的时候，我突然想起有人在圣诞节送了她一件浴袍，所以就从衣柜里把浴袍拿了出来。

Let me just say that was one of the smartest moves I’ve ever made. Wearing that thing was just like being wrapped in a big, fluffy towel that just came out of the dryer.

不得不说，我做了一件聪明事儿。穿上浴袍的感觉，就像身上裹着一块刚刚从吹干机吹干的大大的、毛茸茸的浴巾啊。

In fact, I liked it so much, I even wore it AFTER my shower. I think Dad might’ve been jealous HE didn’t come up with the robe idea first, because when I came to the kitchen table, he seemed extra-grumpy.

我确实太喜欢这浴袍了，甚至冲完澡以后也不舍得脱下它。我觉得，老爸肯定嫉妒我他自己怎么没有先想到这个好主意。后来我到厨房吃饭的时候，老爸显得特郁闷。

I tell you, women have the right idea with this bathrobe thing. Now I’m wondering what ELSE I’m missing out on.

要我说啊，女人对浴袍这种事就是有眼光，所以我得想想还有什么好东西我忘记了。

I just wish I had asked for my own bathrobe for Christmas, because I’m sure Mom is gonna make me give hers back.

当然我也清楚老妈肯定会把她的浴袍收回去，真后悔自己当初怎么没有在圣诞节的时候提出要浴袍。

I struck out on gifts again this year. I knew I was in for a rough day when I came downstairs on Christmas morning and the only presents in my stocking were a stick of deodorant and a “travel dictionary.”

我曾经对今年的圣诞礼物很动了些脑筋。当初圣诞节早晨下楼的时候，我就知道那天没戏了，我袜子里的礼物不过就是一条除臭棒和一本“旅行字典”。

I guess once you’re in middle school, grown-ups decide you’re too old for toys or anything that’s actually fun.

所以我就想啊，人上了中学，那些大人们就会认为你不小了，什么玩具啊、好玩的东西啊对你不合适了！

But then they still expect you to be all excited when you open the lame gifts they get you.

就这样，他们还指望你打开这些他们送的破礼物的时候得显出特高兴的样子呢。

Most of my gifts this year were books or clothes. The closest thing I got to a toy was a present from Uncle Charlie.

今年的大多数礼物不是书就是衣服，只有查理叔叔给我的东西好歹还像个玩具。

When I unwrapped Uncle Charlie’s gift, I didn’t even know what it was supposed to be. It was this big plastic ring with a net attached to it.

打开查理叔叔的礼物的时候，我甚至都不知道这东西究竟是做什么用的。就是这个大大的塑料圈连着一个网的东东。

Uncle Charlie explained that it was a “Laundry Hoop” for my bedroom. He said I was supposed to hang the Laundry Hoop on the back of my door and it would make putting away my dirty clothes “fun.”

查理叔叔解释说，这是个可以放在我卧室中的“洗衣网”。他说我可以把“洗衣网”挂在门背后，这样我还可以把丢脏衣服当作好玩的事儿做。

At first I thought it was a joke, but then I realized Uncle Charlie was serious. So I had to explain to him that I don’t actually DO my own laundry.

一开始我还当他在开玩笑呢，后来才弄清楚他是当真的，所以我不得不耐着性子告诉他其实洗衣服这事儿不是我自己来做的。

I told him I just throw my dirty clothes on the floor, and Mom picks them up and take them downstairs to the laundry room.

我对他说，我只需要把脏衣服扔地上就行了，老妈会把它们捡起来拿到楼下的洗衣间去。

Then a few days later, everything comes back to me in nice, folded piles.

几天之后，所有这些东西就会洗得干干净净地叠好送回来的。

I told Uncle Charlie he should just return the Laundry Hoop and give me cash so I could buy something I’d actually USE.

我跟查理叔叔说他应该把“洗衣网”给退了，直接给我钱去买我真正能用的东西。

That’s when Mom spoke up. She told Uncle Charlie she thought the Laundry Hoop was a GREAT idea.

这时候老妈发言了，她对查理叔叔说她觉得“洗衣网”这个主意好得很。

Then she said that from now on I’d be doing my OWN laundry. So basically, it ends up that Uncle Charlie got me a chore for Christmas.

然后她告诉我，从现在起我得自己洗衣服了。基本上说，查理叔叔这回圣诞节送给我的算是一个体力活了。

It really stinks that I got such crummy gifts this year. I put in a lot of effort buttering people up for the past few months, and I thought it would pay off on Christmas.

今年摊上这么个破礼物真够倒霉的。我在之前花了好几个月努力去讨好他人，就是指望着圣诞节有所回报啊。

Now that I’m responsible for my own laundry, I guess I’m kind of GLAD I got a bunch of clothes. I might actually make it through the whole school year before I run out of clean stuff to wear.

自己对洗衣服负责，这事儿就这么着了，但我高兴的是自己还是有好些衣服的。也许我得实实在在地靠这些衣服对付过整个学年了，直到我还有干净的衣服穿。

注释：cranky古怪的，不正常的；accidently意外地，偶然地；heater vent散热口，散热片；furnace火炉，壁炉，暖风机；fluffy毛绒绒的；grumpy生气的；miss out忘记，失去；strike out别出心裁地做某事；deodorant除臭剂；grown-up成人，大人；lame跛的，（此处）糟糕的，令人失望的；laundry hoop收集换洗衣服的网圈；crummy糟糕的；unwrap打开（包裹等）；stink臭气，发出臭气，（此处）令人不愉快；butter up阿谀奉承，讨好；run out of慢慢用完