Dear all,

As I had promised eons ago, here is a new blog entry.

I know I haven't been doing this for a long time, and more so
since I've had a big sunshine (or meteor depending on which day you
ask) appear in my life.

Being a mum, I usually click on the multiple articles that gives
you some insight to tell you what parenting means. I read it to
maintain some sanity while I make a bolt for the next job overseas.
Sometimes it informs you on the demise of your individuality (which
I am hard pressed to deny), sometimes they tell you what is the
best way to raise a child (most of which I am finally ignoring) and
the best ones are usually the ones that say it's ok.

I too would like to say it's ok. Ahem.

It's ok to have toys lying around (as I type this out with a
Thomas, a magna doodle plus a launch pad lying nearby), it's ok to
feed your kid a chocolate biscuit (you just have to pay for it when
he goes into hyper mode), it's ok to not have a change of clothes
when he has juice down his t-shirt (use a wet wipe or tissue or
just wait for it to dry because you SIMPLY HAVE NONE OF THE ABOVE),
it's ok when you simply lose it and shout at him (you then
apologize like any reasonable adult does).

I think it's ok when you can't keep up or keep it in or keep
breathing. After all, it happens to all mothers.

Then there are these other things that are also supposed to be
ok.

It's ok that some Didi pushed him to the ground and nobody was
there to intervene. It's ok that he needs air conditioning to sleep
because we can afford it. It's ok that I had to leave for work
while he had a bout of sniffles and fever. It's ok that teachers
will teach him about bad people before teaching him about
circumstances.

These issues when viewed collectively seem unrelated or even the
least of most people's worries. But in my opinion, they give a
preview of the spectrum of how the world works. He will experience
and learn unfairness, inequality, practicality over dreams (as it
means today), and eventually, hopefully, he would determine a
truthful and decent way to live.

I type these little fears as time makes a man out of my boy. As
I noticed his baby fat slowly leaving his cheeks, I treasure every
hug (even if I had to remind him), every giggle and every "Mama can
you sleep with me?" requests. I also treasure every tantrum and
that the different outcomes whether it be giving in or not budging,
is out of love for meeting his desires or a lesson learnt.

孩子

亲爱的大家：

亿万年前我曾答应过，我会在这个网站更新博客。

我知道，我已经很久很久没更新了，而自从我生命中那缕新的阳光升起（或者说流星滑落，取决于您指的是哪一天）更新得就更慢了。

作为一名母亲，我常常阅读网上各类启示你如何为人父母的文章。这样在我匆匆出国演出时，会保持头脑清醒。有时，它会告诉你，有了孩子就会不再拥有自我（这点我要强烈否认）；有时，它也会讲孩子最佳的养育方式（大部分我最终会忽略），而最佳的方式通常是那些说“这个是OK的”。

我也想说，这个OK啊。啊哈。

让玩具铺满地没有关系（我打这些字的时候旁边堆着一只托马斯、一个磁石画板加上一个发射台）；给孩子喂一块巧克力饼干也没有问题（只要你能承受他吃了巧克力进入亢奋的状态）；当液体滴在T恤上不给他换衣服也OK（用湿布、湿巾擦干，手头没有的话等它自己干了就好）；就算你不耐烦冲他发脾气也都没关系（之后通情达理地道歉就好）。

我觉得甚至你无法继续无法承受无法呼吸都不是大问题。毕竟每名母亲都会有类似的感受。

那么还有些其它事情也是OK的。

淘气的小孩把他推倒在地没有人管也没关系。他需要空调而我们可以承受就没关系。他感冒发烧而我不得不去工作也没关系。老师们在介绍背景环境之前把坏人定义出来也没关系。

这些话题放在一起似乎没什么联系，甚至与大多数人的关切也不相符。但我觉得，它们会反映给涉世未深的孩子们，让他们体验到社会是如何运转的。他会经历和体会到不公平、不平等以及现实和梦想的差距（如今日所说），希望最终他能决定以真实和体面的方式生活。

我把这些小恐惧打出来，因为我的孩子终将长大成人。我发现他的婴儿肥慢慢褪去，我珍惜每个拥抱、每次欢笑和每回他说“妈妈能不能陪我一起睡”的小小要求。我也会珍惜每次发脾气，每一次无论是作出让步满足他的要求，还是坚持自己的立场给他一个小小的教训，获得怎样不同的结果最终都是源于对他的爱。

我们在大千世界里极其渺小，轻如鸿毛（至少对我的世界来说）。孩子，你从蹒跚学步成长到可以独立思考，并在认识到事物的真实与美丽之后去追寻自己真正喜欢的东西。也许生活有时会让你沮丧，有时甚至会让你觉得痛苦无趣，但你要一直昂头向前，因为我是你的妈妈，我知道你能够做到。你也许会发现我无法感受到的生活美好有趣的一面；）

至于其它人呢，记得给妈妈打个电话聊一聊。