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读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(四十一)

(2018-10-17 21:40:29)
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教育

分类: 瓦尔登湖
If you have any enterprise before you, try it in your old clothes. All men want, not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be. Perhaps we should never procure a new suit, however ragged or dirty the old, until we have so conducted, so enterprised or sailed in some way, that we feel like new men in the old, and that to retain it would be like keeping new wine in old bottles. Our moulting season, like that of the fowls, must be a crisis in our lives. The loon retires to solitary ponds to spend it. Thus also the snake casts its slough, and the caterpillar its wormy coat, by an internal industry and expansion; for clothes are but our outmost cuticle and mortal coil. Otherwise we shall be found sailing under false colors, and be inevitably cashiered at last by our own opinion, as well as that of mankind.

(徐迟译) 如果你有什么事业要做,穿上旧衣服试试看。人之所需, 并不是要做些事,而是要有所为,或是说,需有所是 。也许我们是永远不必添置新衣服的,不论旧衣服已如何破敝和肮脏, 除非 我们已经这般地生活了,或经营了,或者说,已向着什么而航行了,在我们这古老的躯壳里已有着新的生机了,那时若还是依然故我,便有旧瓶装新酒之感了。我们的换羽毛的季节,就像飞禽的,必然是生命之中一个大的转折点。潜鸟退到僻静的池塘边去脱毛。蛇蜕皮的情形也是如此,同样的是蛹虫的出茧。都是 内心里孜孜扩展着的结果 ;衣服不过是我们的最表面的角质,或者说,尘世之烦恼而已。要不然我们将发现我们在伪装底下行进,到头来必不可免地将被人类及我们自己的意见所唾弃。

    1 All men want, not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be. 徐译 “人之所需,并不是要做些事,而是要有所为,或是说,需有所是。” 没有把“ with ”译出来。重要的是做事情,而不是做事情时穿什么,穿新穿旧。“做些事”与“有所为”在这里如何区别开?“ something to be ”是“要成为什么”“要成为名人”,译成“有所是”,尽管照应了“有所为”的结构,但令人费解。

戴译“ 人们所需求的,并非是将那些事情一做了之,而是要有所作为,就是常言所说的要事业有成。 ”就更不知所云了。原文中没有“ 一做了之 ”,也没有“ 常言所说”

这一句似乎不能译成“的”字结构:“人之所需的,是……”。可以比较一下两句有无“ is ”的不同:

A ) All men want is , not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be.

B) All men want, not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be.

A) 句中的主要结构是 All is something ;而 B) 中的主要结构是 men want something

2 Perhaps we should never procure a new suit, however ragged or dirty the old, until we have so conducted, so enterprised or sailed in some way, that we feel like new men in the old, and that to retain it would be like keeping new wine in old bottles.

这句中“ not…until… ”结构没有译出来。徐译成“除非”,虽然没有“直到 …… …… ”正确,但是还能说得过去。戴译“ 当我们潜心从事一项事业时,我们无暇顾及自己的衣着。因为那时,我们即便身着旧衣,我们的躯体却已焕然一新,犹如旧瓶装入了新酒。 ”无论如何,改动太大了。“ Perhaps ”的语气没有译出吧。“无暇顾及”是原文中没有的。“因为”的因果关系以及“即便”的让步关系,都是原文里不曾有的。可以说,这已不能叫做“翻译”了。

梭罗的意思是,就像动物成长中的蜕皮换毛,人直到有一天觉得自己成为新人了才有必要换新装。

3 、“ by an internal industry and expansion ”中的“ internal ”是指身体内部,并不是“内心的”。“ industry ”是指“变化”“成长”这种能力或活动,译成“孜孜”或“孜孜以求”,让人费解。说白了,是身体长大了,外皮不得不换,与内心“孜孜”与否无关。

4 Ken Kifer 关于这一段的评注也附上,或许有助于理解梭罗: Thoreau makes the argument that rather than changing our clothing we ought to be changing the person within.

Part of his argument is practical, because Thoreau honestly and seriously believes that we are richer when we give up our materialistic desires, and part is philosophical; that is, Thoreau is pointing out that by making a fuss about clothing, we are placing our emphasis on our least imp ortant characteristic.

Contrast the difference that it would make in your life if you chose between A) concentrating on always having the very best clothes or B) concentrating on self-improvement and self-actualization instead.

(戴欢译) 如果你有什么业务要做,不妨身着旧衣试试看。 人们所需求的,并非是将那些事情一做了之,而是要有所作为,就是常言所说的要事业有成。当我们潜心从事一项事业时,我们无暇顾及自己的衣着。因为那时,我们即便 身着旧衣,我们的躯体 却已 焕然一新,犹如旧瓶装入了新酒。我们更换衣装的季节,如同飞鸟蜕换羽毛一样,必定是生活中的危机时刻。潜鸟会退至僻静的湖畔去蜕换羽毛,蛇蜕皮的情形也是这般,蛹虫出茧也不例外,都是机体内孜孜以求地向外扩展使然;衣装之于我们,只是我们表皮的角质或是凡尘中的枷锁罢了。如若不然,我们将会发觉自身是在 迷彩色 下前行,最终难以避免地 横遭 我们自己的见解和全人类的摒弃。

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