宝宝欺负人或被人欺负时我该怎么办——中国妈妈问,美国妈妈答[No.27]
(2011-01-06 13:07:21)
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中国妈妈问美国妈妈答米妈妈建议欺负人被人欺负育儿 |
分类: 中国妈妈问,美国妈妈答 |
2011年1月6日,星期四
中国妈妈问——
来自深圳的小礼妈
带孩子在外面玩的时候,当别人家的孩子欺负我家孩子,或我家孩子欺负别人家的孩子时,我常常不知道怎么处理,分寸掌握不好,既不能太护着自己家的孩子,又不能对别人孩子凶,那么该怎么处理是好呢?
美国妈妈答——
来自美国圣巴勃罗市的Cheryl
如果是我的孩子在欺负别人,那在公园里我就会解决这个问题,回到家后我还要好好教训他。恃强凌弱是无法容忍的,不管实施者有多小。一定要让你的孩子学着去同情他人!!!如果我的孩子被别的孩子欺侮,我不会冲那个孩子喊叫,我永远都不会在其他孩子面前失态,除非这涉及到生死的问题。我会试着去和那个孩子讲道理,看是否能让他懂得什么是同情。如果我失败了,我会告诉他,离我的孩子远点。如果这还不起作用,我会带上自己的孩子径直离开。我以为,我们这个社会之所以有那么多青少年走上犯罪的道路,是和他们从小就接触了过多渲染暴力的电视节目和电子游戏密切相关的。这些孩子无法承受打击和痛苦——他么没有同情心!我们要让我们的孩子学会替他人考虑,让他们想想,自己希望别人如何对待他,然后以此来规范自己的行为。如果我们的孩子不懂得什么是同情,那我们这个社会就会充斥着大量反社会和不不善社交的人。
Cheryl B. answers from San
Pablo
First of all, if I saw my child
doing the bullying, we would be done at the park immediately and
there would be severe consequences at home! Bullying is not to be
tolerated, no matter how young the offender. Children need to be
taught empathy!!! If it were my child being bullied, I would not
yell at the other child. I would never yell at someone else's child
unless it were a life or death (or extremely serious) circumstance.
I think I would try to talk to the other child and see if I can get
that child to feel empathy. If not, then I would tell my child to
find someone else to play with and just tell the child to leave
mine alone. If that didn't work, I would take my child and leave.
Again, the reason we have so much juvenile crime these days is
because kids watch horrible violence on television and in those
stupid video games. They grow immune to human suffering and pain -
they don't feel empathy! We need to teach our children to put
themselves in the other person's place and think about how they'd
like to be treated and then act accordingly. If we don't re-start
teaching empathy, we will end up with a society of
sociopaths!
来自美国比弗克罗辛的JoAnn
如果是我的孩子在外面欺负别人,我会立即制止他。我会把他叫到身边,和他好好谈谈。我会告诉他,这种行为是不能接受的,然后,我会让他坐在我身旁,直到确认他知道错了,才放他回去和小朋友玩。我还会让他明白,如果他再惹事,我就立即带他回家。
如果是我的孩子被别人欺负了,我会走过去看看到底发生了什么。我会把两个孩子带到那个欺负人的孩子的妈妈身边,向她说明下事情的经过。然后,我会走开,让那个妈妈来处理。我是我孩子唯一的保护人,遇到这种情况如果我都不去管他,那还有谁会管呢?
JoAnn C. answers from Beaver
Crossing
If my child is doing the bullying
I put a stop to it right away. I call him over and we talk about
his unacceptable behavior and then he sits next to me for 5 minutes
or so until he's ready to play nicely. I tell him if he has another
issue we're leaving, then we do.
If my son is being picked on I
walk up to the situation and ask what the problem is. I take both
children to the bullying child's mother and explain what happened.
Then I walk away and let her handle it. I am my child's only
protector, if I'm not there for him who will be?
来自美国匹兹堡的Mallory
我会视孩子的年龄来决定干涉的程度。对于那种非常小的孩子,我会立即插手纠正他这种欺负人的行为。对于五六岁的孩子,我会作为一个旁观者来观察事请的发展,看孩子们都会做些什么来纠正自己的行为。如果我的孩子显得很胆怯,不敢站出来替自己说话,那我就会插手干涉了。我会告诉那个欺负人的孩子,他这种行为是绝对无法接受的(我不会顾及他家长是不是在场)。如果我的孩子欺负了别人,那他可就有大麻烦了。
Mallory P. answers from
Pittsburgh
My extent of jumping in would
depend on the age. Very young kids-I would jump in right away and
correct the bullying. After age 5 or 6 I would stand back to see
how it is going down and what the kids are doing themselves to
rectify. If my kid seems afraid or won't stand up for himself then
I absolutely jump in to tell the other child that their behavior is
totally unacceptable (and I don't care at all if the child's parent
is right there either). And if MY child is the bullier.....big
trouble for them!
来自美国堪萨斯市的Ainsley
首先,你应该核实一下情况,要知道,孩子们有时只是闹着玩的,而这种情况下,你只需对他们说,“嗨,别这么野!”,他们就会安静下来了。但是,如果真的存在欺负人的现象,那你就要立即带你的孩子离开,并且以后永远都不要让他在那个地方玩!这是我小时候在学校受人欺负时,我想让我妈妈做的事(如果那时她在我身边的话)。
Ainsley O. answers from Kansas
City
Well, first you should check it
out because sometimes some kids just play like that so all you have
to do is say, "Hey, not so rough!" and they'll settle down. But, if
it actually is bullying and teasing then you should just get your
child away from there and never let him/her play there ever again!
That's exactly what I would have wanted my mother to do when I got
bullied/harassed in school (if she had ever been there when it
happened).
米妈妈建议:
如果你的孩子欺负别人,那你需要立即制止他,告诉他这一行为是绝对不能容忍的,必要时还可以给他一些教训。如果他被人欺负了,美国妈妈认为没必要冲那个欺负人的孩子大喊大叫。你需要做的是同他讲道理,看能不能让他懂得什么是同情,如果你和他说不通,就让他离你的孩子远点。你也可以找到那个欺负人的孩子的母亲,告诉她事情的经过,然后,你就可以离开了,剩下的事情交由那个妈妈处理好了。