Combating Chinglish  规避中式英语

以下是Gerard编写的培训材料，供本部门新进翻译/编辑培训需要。

原创作品，欢迎转载，恳请注明出处， 谢谢。

 

为什么会有中式英语？

王佐良: 翻译者必须是一个真正意义的文化人。他必须掌握两种语言，确实如此；但是，不了解语言当中的社会文化，谁也无法真正掌握语言。

 

谭载喜: 翻译中对原文意思的理解，远远不是单纯的语言理解问题。语言是丈化的组成部分，它受着文化的影响和制约。……在翻译过程中，译者对某段文字理解的正确与否，在很大程度上取决于他对有关文化的了解。……对于译者来说，没有两种丈化的对比知识，就无从谈起对语言文字的正确理解与表达。

 

关于赘述、重复专家的观点

You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a precise meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning. . . . Again and again in careless writing, strong verbs are weakened by redundant adverbs.

- Claire Cook [pp. 15 - 16]: You probably should delete all in­tensive adverbs — very, really, truly, actually, and the like. If you've chosen the right word, adding a very defeats your purpose. If you haven't got the right word, the very offers poor compensation. Readers pay no attention to this overused word. If you want to put a very in front of a large, you should consider substituting enormous, huge, gigantic, or massive. . . . [The intensive adverbs] attenuate rather than strengthen. Consider really terrific, absolutely stunning, truly sensational, extremely vital, and very devastating. The adverbs reduce powerful adjectives to conversational gush, de­priving them of their stark force. Almost all writers succumb to these trivializing intensives. Be on guard.

- Lauren Kessler and Duncan McDonald [pp. 117-118]: When you intensify an already intense word, be it adjective or verb, you do more than add clutter. You sap the word of its strength. Once you have chosen a powerful word, you must trust it to stand on its own....

- H. W. Fowler [p. 10]: Constant association with an intensify­ing adjective deprives a noun of the power of standing on its own legs. Thus danger must always have its real, part its integral, and crisis its grave or acute, and understatements must be masterly. The only hope for a noun thus debilitated is for the combination to be recognized as a cliché and killed by ridicule....

…..adjectives and adverbs to make your meaning more precise, and sus­pect those that you find yourself using to make it more emphatic. Use adjectives to denote kind rather than degree. By all means say an eco­nomic crisis or a military disaster, but think well before saying an acute crisis or a terrible disaster. Say if you like ' The proposal met with noisy opposition and is in obvious danger of defeat'. But do not say ' The proposal met with considerable opposition and is in real dan­ger of defeat'. If that is all you want to say it is better to leave out the adjectives and say 'The proposal met with opposition and is in danger of defeat'.... Strong words like urgent, danger, crisis, disaster, fatal, grave , overriding, prime, paramount, and es­sential lose their force if used too often. Reserve them for strong oc­casions, and then let them stand on their own legs, without adjectival or adverbial support.

- Jacques Barzun [p. 100]: An important subclass of clichés con­sists of what an English rhetorician [Gowers] has called "adverbial dressing gowns”: seriously consider, utterly reject, thoroughly ex­amine, be absolutely right, and make perfectly clear, sound definitely interested. All these are clichés and the adverb is the dressing gown: the writer thinks the verb or adjective would not seem decent if left bare. The truth is that the meaning is strengthened by the removal of the automatically remembered adverb. Nothing is easier than to strike it out when it crops up unbidden in your prose. Reread yourself and you will feel how much more firm the tone and final the thought of "I reject the accusation" than the spluttering: "I utterly reject the accusation."

 

名词成灾

Most of these nouns are easy to recognize. They are plainly redundant because their sense is already included or implied in some other elements of the sentence.

 

加快经济改革的速度

to accelerate the pace of economic reform

to accelerate economic reform

 

提高人民的生活水平

the living standards for the people in both urban and rural areas continued to rise

living standards in both urban and rural areas continued to rise

 

这些困难本质上是短暂的

these difficulties are temporary in nature

these difficulties are temporary

 

未来的经济发展取决于

the development of our economy in the future will，to a large extent, depend on….

the development of our economy will depend to a large extent on

 

我们将要采取一系列措施以确保

we should adopt a series of measures to ensure that….

we should adopt measures to ensure

 

Other unnecessary nouns may be less easy to identify. Nonetheless, a little thought will reveal that they add nothing to the meaning of the sentence.

 

随着我们实现机械化生产

with the realization of mechanization of production

with the mechanization of production

 

当时企业的情况是，很多的客户对我们的产品质量没有信心

at that time the situation in our company was that customers have no confidence in our products

at that time, our customers didn’t have much confidence in our products

 

自从1980年代中期以来，尽管经济仍然保持快速发展，减贫却出现了放缓的趋势，并出现了一些新的贫困形态。

However, the speed of poverty reduction has slowed down since mid-1980s, in spite of rapid economic growth; in addition, some new forms of poverty have risen.

The speed of….slow down 这里有赘述， self-evident的是slow down的肯定是speed.

However, the poverty-elimination has slowed down since mid-1980s in spite of rapid economic growth, in addition, some new forms of poverty rises.

 

不同的民族拥有不同的思维模式，因为他们的文化背景不同

Different nations possess quite different thinking modes just because of their different cultural backgrounds.

这句话中的”different”是不言而喻的，如果不打算强调这种差异和区别， 那么就不用different修饰，而更多的使用every each, all some等形容词

Every nation possess quite different thinking modes just because of their diverse cultural backgrounds.

 

本经济开发区对中外投资者的服务措施  （开发区标题）

Service measures of this economic development zone to Chinese and foreign investors.

典型中式思想，服务措施在开发区成立之时就已经设计好Service promises for investors.

 

大学还设有研究所、XX研究所、XX技术研究中心等11个科研中心

Also established in the University are eleven research organizations, such as XX research institute, XX research institute and XX Research Center, etc.

Research institute 这个词被重复太多，累赘

Also established in the University are eleven research institutes, on XX, XX, XX and so on.

 

我们必须懂得一些经济学方面的知识

We must know some knowledge about economics.

Know…knowledge这里开始绕圈， 使用英语时要避免同源词

We must know something about economics.

公司总部座落在上海经济开发区，交通方便，进出口方便

The headquarter of this company is located in Shanghai Economic Development Zone and its transportation is convenient and easy for import and export.

如何做到“一气呵成”？ The headquarter of this company is located in Shanghai Economic Development Zone with convenient transport facilities for import and export business.

 

本公司期待着与国内外新老朋友开展更多的合作机会。

We look forward to more cooperation opportunities with new and old friends at home and abroad. 我在《中国对外经济贸易年鉴》中看到这句话，受中国八股文风影响很深

简练些 We look forward to your partnership!

 

 

增词减词  隐性和显性是汉英语法最大的，带根本性的差异。由于这——差异，就造成了英汉语翻译时的一个独特技巧：增译和减译问题。一个成熟的译者应该敢于在不损害原意的前提下，适当增译或减译，使译文更符合目的语表达习惯。潘文国：汉译英可能会减掉某些东西，但绝对必须增加一些东西：英译汉可能会增加某些东西，但绝对必须减掉一些东西。

潘文国：汉译英可能会减掉某些东西，但绝对必须增加一些东西；荚译汉可能会增加某些东西，但绝对必须减掉一些东西。

 

减词 与增词相反，翻译中的减词是为求译文文字简洁流畅，在译文中省去原文需要而译文多余的一些词语。

余光中：“既然见when就“当”，五步一当，十步一当，当当之声，遂不绝于耳了。”尤其是这样一句：“当他转过身来看见我手里握着那根上面刻着玛丽.布朗的名字的旧钓鱼竿的时候……”他讥讽道：“两头远得简直要害相思。”

 

表示类别的名词基本可以删除

保证我们两家公司紧密的合作关系

to ensure a relationship of close cooperation between us

to ensure close cooperation between us

 

反对奢侈浪费的做法

oppose the practice of extravagance

oppose extravagance

 

再加上价格不稳定的因素，这导致了…..

This, coupled with the factor of price instability, caused…..

This, coupled with price instability, caused …..

 

A: This decision is a measure of vital importance to do a good job of our financial and economic management.

B: This is a very important decision that will enable us to man­age our financial and economic affairs more effectively.

 

A: In combating international terrorism, we emphasize the pre­vention of terrorists from inciting terrorist incidents in China or taking China as a base for terrorist activities.

B: In combating international terrorism , our chief concern is to prevent terrorists from inciting incidents in China or using China as a base for their activities.

 

A: In the rural areas we should pay attention to economical use of land and try our utmost to use less or no arable land in rural housing construction.

B: As for housing construction in rural areas , we should try to be economical in our use of land and especially to use little or no arable land.

 

A: Great efforts are required to achieve the goal that by the year 2010 the freight volume of various kinds of cargo will reg­ister an increase of about 30 per cent over 2005.

 B: We must try to increase the volume of freight handled annu­ally, so that by 2010 it is 30 per cent greater than in 2005.

 

A: Earnest efforts will also be made in the exploitation and uti­lization of solar, wind and geothermal energy.

B: Solar, wind and geothermal energy will also be exploited.

 

A: Rational scale of investment is an important condition for maintaining economic stability and enhancing the sustain­ing power of development. The scale of construction pro­jects now under way is large enough and the scale of planned investment for this year is not small either, so no further expansion can be permitted.

B: An important condition for maintaining economic stability and continued development is that investment must be re­stricted to a rational scale. Enough construction projects are already under way, and considerable investment is planned for this year, so no further expansion can be per­mitted.

 

动词泛滥

林同济：动词对于任何语言来说都是重要的，他的重要作用在汉语中尤为突出，展开一篇汉语作品，略与英语作品相比较， 我们马上发现，前者的动词使用频率远远超过后者。

It is impossible for us to accomplish the task of transformation of our business model…..

It is impossible for us to transform the business model of our company

 

We conducted a careful examination of the sample

We carefully examined the sample.

 

We should make up our mind to implement the reform of the current system.

We must make up our mind to reform the current system

 

Realize the modernization of production technology.

Modernize production

 

加快构建市场经济的步子必须加快

To pace of market economy construction should be accelerated.

这里的pace 是典型的赘述

The construction of market economy should be accelerated.

 

As in passive voice:

Approval should be given to all these projects

All these projects should be approved

Solutions to these problems can be found through….

These problem can be solved through

 

 

Dangerous phrases:

to make an investigation of =to investigate

to make a careful study of =to study carefully

to make a decision to =to decide to

to make a proposal that= to propose that

to make efforts=to try to

to make an analysis of=to analyze

 

to have an influence on=to influence

to have adequate knowledge of =to know enough about

to have the need for =to need

to have respect for =to respect

to give guidance to =to guide

to provide assistance to =to assist

to carry out the struggle against=to struggle against

to conduct reform of =to reform

to engage in free discussion of =to discuss it freely

to achieve success in = to succeed

to accomplish the modernization of =to modernize

to realize the transformation of = to transform

to bring about an improvement in =to improve

to place stress on = to stress

to exercise control over= to control

to register an increase= to increase

 

修饰词赘述

A: more and more of our various construction projects require the efforts of the intellectuals

B: more and more of our construction projects require the efforts

(or: assistance, or: collaboration) of intellectuals

 

A: hundreds of transnational firms have started various business­es in China

B: hundreds of transnational firms have started businesses in China

 

It is not hard to find plenty of other redundant modifiers. Here is a sampling:

A: with the final completion of construction, the plant will reach an annual capacity of 100,000 medium-size trucks

B: with the completion of construction ( or , better : when construction is completed), the plant will have an annual capacity of 100,000 medium-size trucks.

A: imports of foreign automobiles have declined sharply this year

B: imports of automobiles have declined sharply this year

 

不言自喻

A: departments of scientific research should take steps to make a proper readjustment of . . .

 B: departments of scientific research should readjust . . .

[- We can take it for granted that the readjustment should be proper.

 

A: to successfully accomplish the arduous and complicated tasks

B: to accomplish the arduous, complicated tasks

[To successfully accomplish = to succeed in accomplishing = to accomplish. ]