Yes = No    No = Yes    Maybe = No

I’m sorry = you’ll be sorry     I’m not upset = of course I’m upset, you moron

Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful  

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It’s just that you are such an idiot

I love you = Actually I love your money, your idiot

What do you do for living = Are you rich

Do what you want… = you’ll pay for this later

What do you think of my dress = Tell me I’m very sexy