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1^st C-E Translation Workshop Report

第1次翻译工作坊报告

by Isabella

Source Text原文:

因为网络、手机以及其他电子产品高度的便捷性，现在人们更倾向于使用它们进行交流。对于年轻人和工作繁忙的人，一封电子邮件或一条短信能在短短几秒内就发送给千里之外的收信人。人们还可以通过图片和视频使沟通更具互动性和娱乐性(entertaining)。与之相比，传统的手写书信则更耗费时间。尽管如此，在某些特定场合，现代沟通方式并不能取代传统书信。

Target Text 译文:

Since Internet, cell phone and other electronic tools/products are highly convenient, people today tend to use them to communicate with others. For young people and busy working people, an email or a text message can reach the people thousands of miles away in just a few seconds. People can also use pictures and videos in communication, making it more interactive and entertaining. In comparison, the traditional letter writing is more time-consuming. In spite of this, in certain situations, modern communication cannot replace the traditional letters.

Students学生: Freshman (1^st semester)

Symptoms症状& Diagnosis诊断: 

Category 1 句子谓语动词

Symptom 1

1) 因为网络、手机以及其他电子产品高度的便捷性，现在人们更倾向于使用它们进行交流。

误：Nowadays, people tend to use the Internet, mobile phones and other electronic products to communicate with each other, the reason is that the products are fast and convenient.

正：Nowadays, people tend to use the Internet, mobile phones and other electronic products to communicate with each othe because these products are fast and convenient.

 2) 与之相比，传统的手写书信则更耗费时间。

误：Compare with it, it takes more time to write a letter by hand.

正：Compared with it/ In comparison, it takes more time to write a letter by hand.

Diagnosis: 双谓语句（在没有连词或从句的情况下，句号内出现两个谓语）

注：什么是谓语动词？

•       英语动词可充当非谓语和谓语。

•       充当谓语即谓语动词，谓语动词在形态变化上受主语的限制，有人称和数、时态的变化，它是一个句子或一个从句中不可缺少的一部分。

•       非谓语动词是指在句子中不是谓语的动词，包括不定式、动名词和分词（现在分词和过去分词），即动词的非谓语形式。

•       非谓语动词除了不能独立作谓语外，可以承担句子的其他成分。

英语复合句的正确用法：

e.g. We could go to the beach, or we could go up to the mountains.

e.g. The idea of becoming a writer had come to me off and on since my childhood in Belleville, but it wasn’t until my third year in high school that the possibility took hold.

组合方式1：小句1+逗号+ 并列连词+小句2

参考资料1：英语的四种句型http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_699385a10102v3rs.html

参考资料2：《60天(第二版)》P.15 “错误5 断句错误”

 Symptom2

对于年轻人和工作繁忙的人，一封电子邮件或一条短信能在短短几秒内就发送给千里之外的收信人。

误：For young people and busy workers, an email or a text message can send to the people thousand miles away in just a few seconds.

正：For young people and busy workers, an email or a text message can be sent to the people thousand miles away in just a few seconds.

Diagnosis: 主动应变为被动语态。

 Symptom 3

现代沟通方式并不能取代传统书信。

误：Modern communication cannot instead of the traditional letters.

正：Modern communication cannot replace the traditional letters.

Diagnosis: 句子的谓语动词成分残缺（instead of不是实义动词）。

谓语动词: 谓语动词= (助动词+)主动词

1.主动词:

a.实义动词：如laugh, love等；

b.连系动词：如be, become, get等.

2.助动词:

a.基本助动词：如be, , have（完成时）,will等；

b.情态助动词：如can, may, must等.

参考资料：《60天(第二版)》P.14 “错误4 成分残缺”

我总是想起既有欢乐也有悲伤的童年。

误：I always dream about my childhood which including happiness and sadness.

正：I always dream about my childhood which included happiness and sadness.

Category 2 词语用法

Symptom 4

传统的手写书信则更耗费时间。

1) The traditional letters cost more time.

2) The traditional hand written letters take more time.

3) Tradition written letters spend more time.

4) The traditional hand-written letters waste more time

Diagnosis: cost, take, spend, waste用法不准确

cost

a. be obtainable at the price of; require the payment of 价钱为; 需花费:

The meal cost us 30 yuan. 这顿饭花了我们30块钱.

b. require a certain effort or sacrifice 需做出某种努力或牺牲:

写本书要用很多的时间, 要有极大的耐心.

Writing a book costs much time and patience.

c. result in the loss of (sth) 使付出（代价）; 使丧失（某事物）:

开车不注意安全有生命危险.

Dangerous driving could cost you your life.

传统的手写书信则更耗费时间。

The traditional letters cost more time. à正：Writing traditional letters costs more time.

take

v. need or require (the specified time, quality, person or action) (often with it 常与it连用) 需要, 要求（时间﹑ 素质﹑ 人或行动）:

她修理自行车用了三个小时.

It took her three hours to mend her bicycle.

从伦敦到牛津大约需要一个半小时.

The journey from London to Oxford takes about an hour and a half.

传统的手写书信则更耗费时间。

The traditional hand written letters take more time. à正：It takes more time to write traditional letters.

spend

v. ~ sth (on/sth) give or pay out (money) for goods, services, etc 用（钱）; 花（钱）: He spends too much (money) on clothes. 他在衣着上花费太大.

b. ~ sth (on sth/in doing sth) use (time, etc) for a purpose 花（时间等）: She spent a lot of time on this project. 她花了很多时间做这个项目。

waste v. ~ sth (on sb/sth) use sth extravagantly, needlessly or without an adequate result浪费; 滥用

She has wasted her money on things she doesn't need.

她花了冤枉钱, 买的是她自己并不需要的东西.

 Symptom 5

与之相比，传统的手写书信则更耗费时间。

误：On the contrast/ Comparing with it, the traditional letter writing is more time-consuming.

正：In comparison (或Compared with it/ In contrast with it), the traditional letter writing is more time-consuming.

Diagnosis: compare, contrast, comparison用法不准确

e.g.

和其他人的问题相比，我的问题看起来无足轻重。

My own problems seem insignificant compared with other people's.

我们的制度与他们的相比, 显得过於守旧了.

In contrast with/to their system, ours seems very old-fashioned.

Symptom 6

尽管如此，在某些特定场合，现代沟通方式并不能取代传统书信。

误：In spite of that, modern ways of communication can’t replace the traditional letter in some special occasions.

正：In spite of this, in certain situations, modern communication cannot replace the traditional letters.

Diagnosis: occasion 与situation 用法混淆

我见过他几次. I've met him on several occasions.

我觉得自己处於尴尬的境地I find myself in an embarrassing situation.

Symptom 7

尽管如此，在某些特定场合，现代沟通方式并不能取代传统书信。

误：Even though, in some situations, the modern ways of communication can’t replace the traditional letter.

正：Even so/ In spite of this, in some situations, the modern ways of communication can’t replace the traditional letter.

Diagnosis:

even though用法有误 （even though/if不能单使用，后面要紧接从句）

even if/though in spite of the fact or belief that; no matter whether即使; 纵然; 尽管:

e.g.

即使我得一路走着去, 我也要走到那里.

Even if I have to walk all the way I'll get there.

尽管她有时很恼人, 但我还是喜欢她.

Even though she can be annoying, I like her.

even so:  in spite of that; nevertheless 尽管如此; 然而; 不过:

e.g. 这篇文章有许多拼写错误, 然而仍不失之为好文章. There are many spelling mistakes; even so it's quite a good essay.

Symptom 8

电子产品

误：electric production

正：electronic products

Diagnosis:

混淆了electric / electronic, production/product

electric使用电力的:

an electric iron/ light 电熨斗/电灯

electronic

电子音乐 electronic music

电子词典 electronic dictionaries

production制造，生产（指过程与动作）；产量

e.g.

Production of the new aircraft will start next year. 明年开始制造新型的飞机.

product产品

e.g.

product development 产品开发

Category 3 字对字硬译(unnatural English)

Symptom 9

一封电子邮件或一条短信能在短短几秒内就发送给千里之外的收信人。

误：An email or a short message can be sent to the receiver a thousand miles away in short several seconds.

正：An email or a text message can be sent to the addressee a thousand miles away in just a few seconds.

Diagnosis:

1. 短信 a short message àa text message

2. 短短几秒钟 in short several seconds à in just a few seconds

3. 收信人 receiver(接受者; 电话听筒)

addressee (收信人)

an email or a text message can reach the people…

e.g. I hope that this letter reaches you. 我希望这封信能到达你那儿。

Symptom 10

因为网络、手机以及其他电子产品高度的便捷性，现在人们更倾向于使用它们进行交流。

误：Because of the high convenience of Internet mobile phone and other electronic products, people today tend to use them to communicate with others.

Diagnosis:

高度的便捷性high convenience 改为Because … are highly convenient, …（这样才是比较自然的搭配）

注：翻译不只是在另一种语言中寻找意义相似的其他词语，而是寻找表达事物的适当方式。翻译始终立足于语义，也就是说，是语义从源语到译语的转换，而不是形式。

-- Prof.Wolfram Wilss (Germany)

Category 4 拼写错误

Symptom 11

tend / trend

contact / contract

convenient (convinient ×)

modern (mordern×)

Diagnosis:

形似词混淆或难词拼写错误

Category 5 标点符号

Symptom 12

因为网络、手机以及其他电子产品高度的便捷性，现在人们更倾向于使用它们进行交流。Because of the high convenience of Internet、 mobile phones and other electric products, people prefer to communicate with each by them nowadays.

Diagnosis: 与汉语标点相对，英语里没有顿号(、)，也没有书名号《》，英语省略号是3个小黑点(…)。

总结：

1. 句子结构：

1) 一个英语句子是以句号为标志，如果没有连词或从句之类等，一个句号内只有一个谓语动词。

2) 中文句子中主动句译成英语时有可能变成被动句。

2. 词的用法

1) spend作“花费”时，句主语通常是人。

2) time-consuming adj. 费时的,消耗大量时间的

3) 短信 a text message

发短信 text v. I will text you later.

4) reach 到达： I hope that this letter reaches you. 我希望这封信能到达你那儿。

5) on several occasions 几次

6) in some/certain situations 在某些场合

7) even though/if不能单使用，后面要紧接从句

3. 拼写与易混淆词

tend / trend

contact / contract

注意拼写 convenient    modern

4. 标点符号：英语里无顿号(、)