Parents of Slain Student Advocate for Human Rights

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Judy and Dennis Shepard are introduced by deputy cultural attache Frankie Sturm at the U.S. Embassy in Warsaw, Poland.

Washington — In October 1998, two men in Laramie, Wyoming, tortured and killed a 22-year-old college student named Matthew Shepard. According to the convicted murderers, they killed Shepard because he was gay. The combination of the attention that the tragedy brought to crimes of discrimination and the work of activists led by Shepard’s mother and father led to passage in 2009 of the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, a federal law against bias crimes.

The month of their son’s murder, Shepard’s parents, Judy and Dennis, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation in his memory. “It was feeling like I had an obligation to Matt,” said Judy Shepard. “That’s pretty much in a nutshell why we do what we do.”

The foundation seeks to “replace hate with understanding, compassion and acceptance” through outreach and advocacy programs. In the 14 years since her son’s death, Judy has spoken to more than 700 audiences across the United States, reaching more than 100,000 people. Now, for the first time, in cooperation with the U.S. State Department, the Shepards are bringing their message of tolerance and parental engagement to Europe.

The Shepards recently visited Europe as part of a speakers’ trip to Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Hungary and Germany. Sponsored by the State Department, this was the Shepards’ first major trip abroad advocating for the rights of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community, and by all accounts, the trip was a resounding success. “We heard everywhere we went how much they appreciate the stand Secretary Clinton and President Obama have taken by openly and verbally supporting the LGBT community,” Judy said.

In Warsaw, the Shepards’ trip was co-sponsored by Poland’s Campaign Against Homophobia. They met with the campaign’s Mother’s Group — one of the few organizations in Europe that supports the parents of LGBT individuals and urges them to actively support their children’s human rights. “They’ve gained so much strength from each other in this goal to have society accept their children,” Judy said of the parents she encountered. “It’s really remarkable to just watch it happen. They were just wonderful.”

The Shepards saw many similarities between the struggle for LGBT rights in Europe and in America. “Through trial and error we have observed that what really turned the corner in the U.S. was when people started telling their stories to their families,” she said. “So that was the primary message: You have to communicate what your life is like. You have to make it personal.” And she stressed the important role that parents of LGBT children have in protecting their children. “I thought having us there as a mother and father was really critical. Seeing Dennis out there speaking — surely some other father’s going to say ‘I really could do that. I need to do that.’”

 

In addition to appearing on a segment of Dzień Dobry TVN, a popular Polish morning show, the Shepards participated in a hate crimes conference in the Polish Parliament, sponsored by Robert Biedroń, the only openly gay member in that body.

In Latvia, the Shepards visited the capital city of Riga where they spoke to youth activists, parents and public officials. They traveled to Jēkabpils to meet with students and the city council and shared their message of loss, tolerance, and activism with various groups.

Their time in Hungary included a discussion with the human rights group Szimpozion Klub on parenting a gay child. They also met with police officers from Ukraine, Serbia and Hungary at the State Department’s International Law Enforcement Academy in Budapest. The Shepards pointed out that police officers can make a real difference in protecting the LGBT community, and that preventing hate crimes is everyone’s business.

In Estonia, the Shepards' visit came at a time when that country is considering a partnership law that would apply to both same-sex and opposite-sex cohabiting couples. The Shepards met with President Toomas Hendrik Ilves, who afterward expressed his support for LGBT rights — a historic first.

On the Shepards’ final stop, in Munich, they engaged a group of more than 300 teenage students in a wide-ranging discussion about their experiences as parents and the experiences of LGBT teenagers like their son. “Gay kids are just as boring as straight kids,” Judy told the crowd, eliciting nods and laughter in agreement.

Judy Shepard finished the trip with a renewed sense of optimism about the future of LGBT rights in Europe. “I’m very hopeful,” she said. “We met some really amazing, committed folks. A lot of them were of the younger generation. They’re very smart, they’re connected, and they know what works and what doesn’t. It’s just a matter of constant, constant education.”