Zheng Chunhua, renowned author, came to speak at YK Pao School and was met with a tremendously positive response from parents.  We asked Ms Zheng to write a piece for Pao Press to share her experience of reading with her child.

    Everyday, 8pm to 8.30pm is reserved for reading with my daughter.  It is a golden time.  We have read together ‘Mum’s Red Sofa’, ‘Diary of an Earthworm’, ‘Guess how much I love you’ and many others.  After reading each story, we tell each other what we thought of the story: good, average, sad, tragic.  According to my daughter’s feelings, I explain the story simply, showing what gave her this feeling.  After that, we stop for the evening.

    I do not give my daughter a string of questions before we read, because these questions may not necessarily be of importance to her after we read the story, and I do not ask her a string of questions after we read, because these questions may end up distorting the story in my daughter’s mind.

    I am sure everybody has experienced the feeling when, after listening to a beautiful piece of music, you do not want to talk about it.  Perhaps you cannot talk about it.  Instead you just sit there quietly, enjoying your thoughts about the music, thoughts that belong to you alone.  Perhaps only after a time, you try to use language to express your feelings, or perhaps you do not try to express your feelings about it at all.

    Children experience this too.  Although they are young, they have an inner world.  Perhaps their inner world is not as rich as adults’, not as intricate, but with time, they can develop a rich and intricate inner world too.  If we start by asking children a number of questions, unintentionally we pull them out of their inner world, destroying the opportunity for them to explore the story with their feelings.

    Let children enjoy their inner world!  It does not matter if it makes them happy or sad, the main point is that stories are the best way for them to develop; stories make connections in children’s minds and enthrall them.  Some stories start off without a clear structure.  But over time you start to find the thread, and, slowly, the child starts to take it in, to digest it, to refine it, discovering in it something of beauty, of value, something that instructs, a lesson in being human.

    Reading with your child is actually three activities guided by you, the parent: choosing the book, reading the book and discussing the book.  You have to be aware of your own mood at the time.  Do not just look for short term benefits and do not twist the story as these go against the true goals of reading.  Instead, enjoy it and respect the emotions and feelings that reading brings out in your child.

    My daughter has just started P1 and sometimes I ask her if she can recognise the Chinese characters in the story, but without pressure.  If she is not enjoying it I stop immediately and we put all our attention back onto the story.  It would make no sense to sacrifice her enjoyment of reading just for the sake of practising a couple of new words.  Sometimes our reactions to a story are completely different: sometimes I enjoy it and she does not; and sometimes she enjoys it and I do not.  But in these situations, I do not try to persuade her, but rather respect her position and try to understand it.  Taking in mind what she liked about the story, I will patiently re-read it and then go to tell her that I like the story too.

    These little ‘set-backs’ are important because they can encourage children to read more, to express their wishes more clearly, because they know their parent changed their mind about the story at their suggestion.  This is an acknowledgement of the child and they will be proud and happy about this especially if you repeat the process.

    Reading with your child is not so they can hear your opinions, it is not so they get 100% in their exams, it is not so that they will not make mistakes, but rather so that they learn to enjoy their inner world.  Of all the creatures on this earth, only humans enjoy an inner world.  I hope everyone can enjoy the pleasures of reading with their child.