我是一个任性的孩子                           I am a Willful Child

       顾城                                            Gu Cheng

 

也许                                         Maybe

我是被妈妈宠坏的孩子                         I am a child spoiled by a mother

我任性                                       I am willful

 

我希望                                       I wish

每一个时刻                                   That every moment

都像彩色蜡笔那样美丽                         Were as beautiful as colored crayons

我希望                                       I wish

能在心爱的白纸上画画                         That I could paint on my favorite white paper

画出笨拙的自由                               I'd paint artless Freedom on it

画下一只永远不会                             I'd paint an eye

流泪的眼睛                                   That would never shed tears

一片天空                                     I'd paint one piece of sky

一片属于天空的羽毛和树叶                     A feather and a leaf that belong with the sky

一个淡绿色的夜晚和苹果                       And a night and an apple with the same color green

 

我想画下早晨                                 I wish to paint the morning

画下露水所能看见的微笑                       And all smiles that are witnessed by the morning dew

画下所有最年轻的                             I wish to paint all young love

没有痛苦的爱情                               Love without any pain

画下想象中                                   I'd paint my lover

我的爱人                                     Imagined

她没有见过阴云                               She has never seen dark clouds

她的眼睛是晴空的颜色                         She has eyes with the color of the clear sky

她永远看着我                                 She is looking at me

永远，看着                                   Forever and ever, looking

绝不会突然掉过头去                           Never will she turn her eyes away

 

我想画下遥远的风景                          I wish to paint the faraway landscape

画下清晰的地平线和水波                      The lines and curves of the horizon and waves

画下许许多多快乐的小河                      I'd paint lots and lots of frisking rivers

画下丘陵——                                I'd paint hills--

长满淡淡的茸毛                              All fuzzy with thin grasses

我让它们挨得很近                            I'd put them close to each other

让它们相爱                                  In love with each other

让每一个默许                                So that every promise

每一阵静静的                                Every quiet quaver

春天的激动                                  Of the spring

都成为一朵小花的生日                        Would give birth to a little flower

 

我还想画下未来                              Still I wish to paint Future

我没见过她，也不可能                        Whom I've never seen, never possible anyway

但知道她很美                                But I know that she's beautiful

我想画下她秋天的风衣                        I wish to paint the windbreaker she wears in autumn

画下那些燃烧的烛火和枫叶                    The flaming candles and maple leaves

画下许多因为爱她                            And many hearts that die out   

而熄灭的心                                  For loving her

画下婚礼                                    I'd paint weddings

画下一个个早早醒来的节日——                And those festivals when I wake up early--

上面贴着玻璃糖纸                            Festivals with bright-colored candy wrappers

和北方童话的插图                            And beautiful illustrations of a northern fairy tale

 

我是一个任性的孩子                          I am a willful child

我想涂去一切不幸                            I wish to erase all misfortunes

我想在大地上                                I wish to paint windows

画满窗子                                    All over the earth

让所有习惯黑暗的眼睛                        So that all eyes that are used to the night

都习惯光明                                  Would get used to the light

我想画下风                                  I wish to paint the wind

画下一架比一架更高大的山岭                  And mountains that are taller and taller

画下东方民族的渴望                          I wish to paint the longing of the Orientals

画下大海——                                The sea--

无边无际愉快的声音                          The immense and cheering voice of the sea

 

最后，在纸角上                              And finally, on one corner of the paper

我还想画下自己                              I wish to paint me myself

画下一只树熊                                A coala

他坐在维多利亚深色的丛林里                  Sitting in the deep Rainforest in Victoria

坐在安安静静的树枝上                        Sitting on a still branch

发愣                                        In a trance                                     

他没有家                                    He doesn't have a home

没有一颗留在远处的心                        Nor a heart that travels and lingers afar

他只有，很多很多                            What he has are, lots and lots of

浆果一样的梦                                Berry-like dreams

和很大很大的眼睛                            And eyes that are so, so large

 

我在希望                                    I am wishing

在想                                        And wondering

但不知为什么                                But I don't know why

我没有领到蜡笔                              I haven't got the crayons

没有得到一个彩色的时刻                      Nor a moment that is colored

我只有我                                    I only have me

我的手指和创痛                              My finges and my pains

只有撕碎那一张张                            So I have to tear up the paper piece by piece

心爱的白纸                                  My beloved white paper

让它们去寻找蝴蝶                            Let them go after the butterflies

让它们从今天消失                            Let them disappear from the present

 

我是一个孩子                                I am a child

一个被幻想妈妈宠坏的孩子                    A child spoiled by Mother Fantasy

我任性                                      I am willful

 

1981年3月