有二个酒鬼正沿着高速公路驶来,一边还喝着啤酒. 突然驾驶员注意到后视镜里有闪烁的灯光, 有警察在追他了.他的同伴问;" 我们怎么办?"

    开车的那人说,"不要担心,照我说的做就没事了.首先,把啤酒瓶的标签撕下来,把它贴在我们的额上,然后把酒瓶藏到座位底下,我来应付警察." 于是他们停了下来, 警察走近他们的车. 看到他们的样子非常搞笑,警察还是要求看一下驾驶证, 问他说:"你有喝酒吗?"

    "哦,没有,警官."驾驶员回答.

    "我注意到你们的车在高速公路上摇摇罢罢,你确定你没喝酒吗?"警察问道.  

    "哦,没有,警官."酒鬼回答."今晚根本没有喝酒这回事."

    "好吧,我来问你,"警察说,"你额头上的东西到底是干什么的?"

    "这个简单,警官,"酒鬼说,"你知道,我们都是酒精中毒者,这是我们的戒酒贴."

Thanks to: Tina Cook USA.

Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden the driver notices lights flashing in his mirror; the cops are on his tail. His buddy says, "What are we going to do?" The driver says, "Don't worry. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, peel the labels off our beer bottles and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Then shove the bottles underneath the seat, and let me do the talking." They pull over and the cop walks up to the car. He looks at them kind of funny, but asks to see the guy's driver's license. And he asks him, "Have you been drinking?" "Oh, no, sir," the driver replies. "I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you *sure* you haven't been drinking?" the cop asks. "Oh, no, sir," the drunk answers. "We haven't had a thing to drink tonight." "Well, I've got to ask you," says the cop, "What on earth are those things on your forehead?" "That's easy, Officer," says the drunk. "You see, we're both alcoholics, and we're on the patch."

Thanks to: chappy londonderry ulster Ireland

    A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashing through the front door at 3 am waked her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, " what are you doing" she shouted, the husband replies " I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs" "leave it down there" she bellowed "I cant" he replied " I’ve drunk it".