图片来自才女好友智明博客特此感谢

           己亥新春送上几个幽默笑话

        无人知 2019年2月22日 学习天地

  笑一笑十年少！

  Smile can make you younger！

 专家说；“一直演喜剧的演员是会长寿的。”

 Experts say that "actors who always play comedy will live longer."

“而一直演悲剧的演员就会身体不好。”

 “And actors who have been playing tragedies will be in poor health.”

 所以我们也需要幽默的作品，

So we should also need humorous works.

 那对我们身体有好处啊！

 That's good for us health.

     幽默段子（一）给医生看检查报告

去医院体检，

Go to the hospital for a physical examination，

医生拿着报告单，说；

The doctor took the report ， said.

幸喜，你来得早一点啊......

Fortunately, you came earlier......

我吓出一身冷汗。

I was frightened into a cold sweat.

这位医生慢吞吞地把话说完；

The doctor finished his speech slowly；

要不我就要下班了。

Otherwise I'll be off work.

    幽默段子（二）假期学英语

 假期，有外教来教英语。

In the holidays, have foreign teacher was teaches English class.

张丽丽带着孩子参加学习，

Zhang Lili took her child to study.

并叮嘱孩子：“学费高，一定要好好学习。”

And told the child: "high tuition, we must study hard."

 孩子满口答应。 

 The child promised.

   放学回来，妈妈问：

   When she came back from school, her mother asked, 

 “学什么了？”

  "What did you learn?"  

  孩子答：“不知道。”

  Child answer;“I don’t know.” 

  妈又问：“老师教你什么了？” 

  Mother asked again, "What did the teacher teach you?"

  孩子答：“听不懂。”

  Child answer;“I cannot understand .” 

  我问：“为什么？”

  Mother asked;“way？”  

 孩子说：“他不讲中国话。”

 Child say;“He don’t speaks Chinese.” 

    幽默段子（三）聪明的近视眼

一个科长不想去支持边区，

A section chief does not want to support the border area.

就假装高度近视。

Just pretend to be highly myopic.

体检时，医生测试他的视力，

During the physical examination, the doctor tested his eyesight.

他环顾四周地说：

He looked around and said:

“测试表在哪儿呢？”

“Where is the test table?”
　　那天晚上他去看电影，

  He went to the cinema that evening.

 发现身边坐的正是那位检查的医生，

 It was the doctor who was sitting next to him.

 医生也认出了他因此正要寻问，

The doctor also know that he was about to ask.

他抢先说：“医生，这儿是饭店吗？” 

“He said first; is this a restaurant?”