The hat is brand new（崭新的)（源自：外国幽默网）

There was a little old lady standing at a corner one windy day. She was using both hands to keep her hat on while the wind blew her dress up.
    A dignified （尊严的）southern gentleman came up and said, “Ma'am, you should be ashamed（羞愧）of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, like that, while you stand there holding your hat on.”
  “Look,” she said, “everything under the dress is seventy years old, the hat is brand new!”

　　         帽子是崭新的（译文：牛筋）

一位老妇人在一个刮大风的天气里站在一个拐角处。她两只手都只顾紧紧地抓住头上的帽子，然而大风把她的裙子给掀了起来。

一位很体面的绅士走过来对她说：“夫人，你应该感到羞愧的，怎么能只顾抓着头上的帽子，而让大风把裙子吹成那样呢？”

“你看啊，”老妇人说，“我裙子下面所有的东西都已经七十多年了，可我这顶帽子是崭新的呀。”

       A physics Examination    （源自：英语沙龙）

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?

Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

          一次物理考试（译文：牛筋）

在一次物理考试中，当别的同学都在苦思冥想第一个问题的时候，尼克很快就完成了。

问题是：当天空打雷时，为什么我们先看到闪电，后听到雷声？

尼克的答案：因为我们的眼睛是长在耳朵前面的。

       Delicious！（源自：幽默一刻）

A Hollywood producer was determined to give his mother a birthday gift that would be better than any his brothers were giving her． He heard about an amazing bird which could talk in twelve languages and sing ten famous operas． He immediately bought the bird and sent it to his mother．

It cost him $50，000．

The day after her birthday，he phoned his mother．"What did you think of the bird， Mother?" he asked eagerly．His mother replied，"Delicious!"

          味道好极了！(译文：牛筋)

一个好莱坞的制片人决定送给他妈妈一件比别的兄弟送的都好的生日礼物。他听说有一只神奇的鸟会说12种语言，唱10首著名的歌剧。于是，这个制片人马上把这只鸟买回来送给他妈妈。这只鸟花了他5万美元。

在他妈妈生日后的第二天，这个制片人打电话给他妈妈。“妈妈，你觉得那只鸟怎么样啊？”他急切地问。

他的妈妈回答说：“味道好极了！”

   Who was the first Man?      （源自：英语沙龙）
 
    A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.
 "Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?
"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."

      谁是第一个男人   （译文：牛筋）
　　有个老师问班上的学生：
    “谁是第一个男人？”
    “乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
    “你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，怜爱地微笑着。
     小男孩说：“因为他在战争时是第一，和平时是第一，在国人心中他也是第一的。”
     这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
   “那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
   “我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

     Happiness in Dream（源自：英语幽默集锦）

　　There was a wife who told her husband, "Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
　　The husband put down his newspaper and said, "Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them."

     梦里的幸福       （译文：牛筋）

一天，妻子对丈夫说：“昨天夜里我梦见你给我买了一件貂皮大衣和一枚钻石戒指。”

丈夫放下手中的报纸对她说：“那太好了！今晚你要再去睡觉做梦，梦见穿上貂皮大衣，戴上钻戒。”