2017年5月20日那个周末，我参加了Brownie女童子军的年末露营活动，周五晚上开车过去，周日中午回来。因为白天工作，我很少参加童子军每月例行活动，都是全职妈妈在挑头，她们互相非常熟悉，我却一个人都不认识。这次大约有十几个孩子参加了露营，还有六，七个大人。我们所有的人住在一个木屋里住两个晚上，上下铺，自己带睡袋，床铺比一个标准单人床还小三分之一。第一天晚上，孩子们很兴奋，拿着手电照黑屋子，还有孩子因为妈妈没有来哭起来了，有两个孩子最后挤在一张小床上睡。哭的孩子妈妈不能来，因为爸爸病情一直很重，妈妈要照顾。Dr Katie (妇产科医生)把她带到自己床上睡，一个160斤的妈妈和女孩挤在小床上，一夜无法翻身。第二天起来，好几个妈妈说只睡了几个小时。

第二天活动很丰富，但很多时间在等待。等着的时候，脑子里瞬间有这样的念头 - 我忙得无法形容，是不是让乐乐自己来就好了。乐乐跟几个女孩是同班同学，但是貌似没有关系很近朋友，经常形单影只地一个人。我跟妈妈们都不认识，她们呢，看得出经常在一起活动交流。所以，心里面有些。。。

周六早晨起来，等吃早饭的间歇我准备周一早晨的英语课，选一位女性的演讲。我打印了Sheryl Sandberg (lean in作者) 的三篇演讲准备挑选一篇。几年前，在纽约女校毕业演讲的时候都是意气风发，讲到女孩子们同样要拥有大理想大抱负，要撑起半边天，如果50%的男人在家里做全职会让这个世界恰到好处。最近一次她在Virginia Tech的毕业典礼的演讲是对生活全新的阐释。她的丈夫两年前在墨西哥度假的时候突然在跑步机上摔到，去世了，还不到50岁，对Sheryl意气风发的生活重重一击。真的是经历过生活无常的人才有的感受。毕业典礼上，她讲了resilience, being grateful, building a community。 这篇演讲点燃了我心中的一束光(enlightening)。演讲的结尾，有这样一段话，对我触动颇深。

"A few months ago, my cousin Laura turned 50. Graduates, you may not appreciate that turning 50 happens soon and feels old – but your parents do. I called her that morning and I said, “Happy birthday, Laura. But I am also calling to say in case you woke up this morning with that ‘oh my God, I'’m 50’ thing. Don'’t do that. This is the year Dave doesn'’t turn 50.” Either we get older, or we don'’t. No more jokes about growing old. Every year, every moment – even in the pouring rain – is an absolute gift.

...... My New Year’s resolution last year was to write down three moments of joy before I went to bed each night. This very simple thing has changed my life. Because I realize I used to go to bed every night thinking about what I did wrong and what I was going to do wrong the next day. Now I go to sleep thinking of what went right. And when those moments of joy happen throughout the day, I notice them more because I know they’'ll make the notebook. Try it. Start tonight, on this day full of happy memories – but maybe before you hit Big Al’s."  (http://www.vt.edu/commencement/2017-remarks-sandberg.html)

After reading the speech, my perspective totally changed.  I had been complaining, feeling bad with my work and schedules.  I wanted to have more in life.  But at that moment I suddenly realize I asked for too much but never felt grateful.  Yes, my work is too busy and this one client is annoying, but I am grateful that I have a job I like.  Yes, the kids are not perfect, but I am grateful that they are healthy and thriving every day.  Yes, at the girls scout camp, I don't know anybody and the Ella doesn't mingle too much with other girls, but i am grateful i have the opportunity to get to know other moms, listen to their perspectives, and observe Ella in a group setting.  

后来和妈妈们聊了很多，颇有收获。从那里回来以后，每天感恩，内心越来越富足。