* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

知识是知道蕃茄是一种水果。智慧是不把它放进水果沙拉。

*  Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

晚间新闻是那个他们开始道「晚安」，然後告诉你为何它并非如此的地方。

*   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

从一个人那里盗取主意是剽窃。从许多人那里盗取主意是研究。

*  A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

汽车站是汽车停顿的地方。火车站是火车停顿的地方。在我桌上，我有一个工作站。

*  Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

每次填写申请表，在那个＂紧急时，通知：＂的地方，我总填上＂医生。＂

*  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

金钱买不到快乐，但它的确使苦难好受一些。

* You're never too old to learn something stupid.

你永远不会老得学不会做蠢事。

*   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

为了保证打中目标，先打然後把你打到的任何东西称为目标。

*   Where there's a will, there's relatives.

有遗嘱的地方，就有亲人。