加载中…
个人资料
  • 博客等级:
  • 博客积分:
  • 博客访问:
  • 关注人气:
  • 获赠金笔:0支
  • 赠出金笔:0支
  • 荣誉徽章:
正文 字体大小:

[转载]非马双语短诗鉴赏:《有一次我要一只鸟唱歌》

(2012-03-05 23:01:30)
标签:

转载

有一次我要一只鸟唱歌

非马

 

它说我唱

不出来也不想唱

这不是春天

 

我捏著它的脖子

唱呀唱呀

不唱歌算什么鸟

 

它挣扎著

但终于没唱成

 

我现在想

其实鸟没错

又不是诗人

哪能一年到头

说唱就唱

 

但那时候我只一心

要它唱歌

竟没注意到

春天就在我手里

微颤著

断气

 

ONCE I ASKED A BIRD TO SING

William Marr

 

he said no, I can’t

and I won’t

it’s not spring

 

I grasped his neck

and yelled

SING! SING!

WHAT KIND OF BIRD ARE YOU IF YOU DON’T SING

he gasped and struggled

but to the end he did not utter

one single note

 

I now realize

it really wasn’t his fault

not being a poet

he could not sing

uninspired

 

but possessed by a burning passion

I insisted on his singing then and there

and did not notice in my hand

spring had expired in agony

 

[简评]

显然,诗歌题目构成诗歌内容的首行,此谓跨题。若散文读之,则必将诗题作为开句:“有一次我要一只鸟唱歌,它说:我唱不出来,也不想唱,这不是春天。我捏著它的脖子,说:唱呀,唱呀,不唱歌算什么鸟?它挣扎著,但终于没唱成。我现在想:其实鸟没错,又不是诗人,哪能一年到头说唱就唱。但那时候我只一心要它唱歌,竟没注意到,春天就在我手里微颤著断气。”虽然散文读之,却仍然诗意盎然。表面上,诗人似乎只是叙事,但其内在的抒情,却是非常之丰沛。

鸟儿,只在春天唱歌,但是,此时虽非春天,我却强迫鸟儿唱歌。鸟儿拒绝唱歌,我就“捏著它的脖子”强迫它唱。结果呢?“它挣扎著,但终于没唱成。”就这样,鸟儿被掐死在我的手里。同时,“春天就在我手里微颤著断气。”这里的“我”,当为某种暴力或暴政的象征。而鸟儿,可解读为普通百姓或曰所谓民意。如此一来,可知在诗歌叙事的背后,藏着怎样深刻的寓意!

英诗散读之时,亦须将诗题作为首行:Once I asked a bird to sing, he said: “no, I can’t, and I won’t, (because) it’s not spring.” I grasped his neck and yelled: “SING! SING! WHAT KIND OF BIRD ARE YOU IF YOU DON’T SING?” He gasped and struggled, but to the end he did not utter one single note. I now realize it really wasn’t his fault, not being a poet, he could not sing uninspired. But possessed by a burning passion, I insisted on his singing then and there, and did not notice, in my hand, spring had expired in agony. 若将之与汉诗散读相比较,可知正是“两情相悦”,虽不免细微处之差异。

“它说我唱不出来也不想唱”中的“说”字,英译为said,“我捏著它的脖子说”中的“说”字,英译为yelled(大喊大叫)。同词异译,正得其意。其次,“我唱不出来也不想唱”对应I can’t and I won’t. 简洁凝练而不失韵律感,正是非马风格之体现。若一般译之:I can’t sing, and I won’t sing either. 则淡而无味矣。

“唱呀唱/不唱歌算什么鸟”的英译:SING! SING! WHAT KIND OF BIRD ARE YOU IF YOU DON’T SING.. 不仅字母全部大写,而且全部斜体,只为表示强调暴力之故。

“挣扎”对应gasped and struggled, 可谓一词而双译,方觉淋漓尽致。

“但终于没唱成”对应but to the end he did not utter one single note. 若一般译之:but finally it did not sing. 似乎简洁许多。却不知:to the end(到底;到最后)的使用,自有一番意味。例如:

 

无论如何,我们要将斗争进行到底。

At all events, we will carry the struggle to the end.

 

他的钱花不到月底。

He couldn’t stretch out his money to the end of the month.

 

显然,在to the end短语中,强调的是end(结束;末端),此语绝非finallyeventually等词所可代替。

“没唱成”弃简单的did not sing而采较复杂的did not utter one single note, 自有道理。先看含有utter的例子:

 

My duty pricked me on to utter that.

我的责任迫使我把它说出来。

 

He did not utter a word for five minutes.

足有五分钟,他一声没吭。

 

可知,utter并非“唱”,而是“说;发出”之意。其后的note, 此处为“音符;音调”之意。联合观之,did not utter one single note即“没有发出一个音符或一个音调”之意。于是可知did not sing的笼统模糊,以及did not utter one single note的具体清晰。

“我现在想”对应I now realize(现在我意识到),正是深层之译。若译为I am thinking, 则流于浅层之译,或曰文字之译。但是,文学翻译,恰非文字翻译。

“又不是诗人”对应not being a poet, 用分词短语译之,正符合英文之行文习惯。

“哪能一年到头说唱就唱”对应he could not sing uninspired. 首先,汉语疑问句,英文陈述句,如此句式转变,在翻译中亦属常见。其次,字面上看来,变化较大:“一年到头”省而未译(若译出all the year round或者year in and year out, 则又显多余矣);“说唱就唱”似与sing uninspired(无想象力的;无灵感的)不太字面对应,却取得了内在情韵上的吻合。例如uninspired反义词inspired的几个例子:

 

The sight inspired him with nostalgia.

这景象激起了他的怀旧之情。

 

His best music was inspired by the memory of his mother.

他创作的最好乐曲,灵感来自对母亲的怀念。

 

The Lake District scenery inspired Wordsworth to write his greatest poetry.

英格兰湖区的美景给了华兹华斯灵感,于是他创作出最伟大的诗篇。

 

因此,sing uninspired, 意即“没有灵感却唱歌”,那自然难以唱好。如此英译“说唱就唱”,正是得其内趣而出之。若英译为sing if/as he likes, 字面虽对应,层次早不等:非诗之语言矣。

“但那时候我只一心要它唱歌,竟没注意到,春天就在我手里微颤著断气。”英译:But possessed by a burning passion, I insisted on his singing then and there, and did not notice, in my hand, spring had expired in agony. 回译汉语:“但在一种燃烧的激情之下,我坚持要他当时当地就唱歌,却没注意到,在我的手里,春天已在痛苦中断气。”仔细究来,汉语“一心”,英文却动用possessed by a burning passion, insisted on等一大串词语来译之。显然,比之汉语,英语是一种深化的表达。“微颤著”,未直译为tremblingshivering之类,而是另译为in agony(痛苦中),正得其要害。另外,如果说possessedpassion, thenthere因押头韵而增强了韵律之感的话,in my hand的短语插入,使得句子多了一点儿蜿蜒起伏。凡此种种,英译虽然比之汉语更加复杂化了,但却取得了非常好的艺术效果。

最后一点需要注意的是,汉诗中,鸟的代词用“它”,而英诗中,bird的代词,却用hehis ——正可暗示诗人以鸟拟人之用心。

多年前,笔者曾读到非马先生此诗的英译,译者是庞秉钧(曾任南开大学外文系教授)、闵福德(新西兰奥克兰大学亚洲语言系中文教授)、高尔登(西班牙巴塞罗那自治大学翻译学院研究主任),源自三人合作编译的一本书:《中国现代诗选:汉英对照》,由中国对外翻译出版公司出版,出版时间大概是2000年吧,因此书不在手头,一时无从查证具体。

其实,这本汉英对照的诗集,可谓笔者汉诗英译方面的启蒙读物。记得至少读了两三遍,觉得译文真是贴切到位。而如今,研读完非马先生自己的译文,再来读中西合译的产物,竟不免觉得……

哎,译诗附录于此,美言诟语,听候各位看官发落。

 

Once I Forced a Bird to Sing

Fei Ma

 

It said, “I can’t,

I don’t want to,

It isn’t spring.”

 

I pinched it by the neck.

“Come on, sing:

What kind of bird are you

If you won’t sing?”

 

It struggled in my hand,

But to the end refused.

 

Now when I think of it,

The bird was really right.

It was no poet.

How could it sing to order

All year round?

 

But I was too intent

For it to sing

To notice

That spring was in my hand,

Quivering

Its last breath.

(庞秉钧、闵福德、高尔登 译)

 

(张智中)

 

0

  

新浪BLOG意见反馈留言板 欢迎批评指正

新浪简介 | About Sina | 广告服务 | 联系我们 | 招聘信息 | 网站律师 | SINA English | 产品答疑

新浪公司 版权所有