最近我买了一本某译者译的书，读到一句话，觉得有问题，就给她留言，提出此事。她回：没看出来，请指教。

昨晚已经到了半夜，今早我看到回复，扩展开来再看，发现问题不止这一个地方，就想好好整理、解释一下，把自己的想法表达清楚，谈不上指教，only for her reference。

我是在读到“他们要承担后果，为了他们曾经鼓吹的错误政策和事业”这句时感觉有问题的，因为中文一般不这样说，也就是带有翻译腔，或者说译完后没有优化。我觉得句子结构至少应该是“他们要为……承担后果”才好。我又找到了它的英文：

（1）If locally owned newspapers criticise us, we know that their criticism, however wrong or right, is bona ­fide criticism, （2）because they may stay and take the consequences of any foolish policies or causes they may have advocated. （3）Not so the birds of passage who run the Straits Times. （4）They have run to the Federation, from whose safety they boldly proclaim they will die for the freedom of Singapore...

其中文译文如下：

本地报纸批评我们，不管对错，我们都相信这批评是真诚的。因为他们跑不掉，他们要承担后果，为了他们曾经鼓吹的错误政策和事业。但是，《海峡时报》不一样，它的管理者像候鸟般漂泊不定。他们投靠了联邦，有了这个靠山的庇护，他们可以大胆地声明自己可以为新加坡的自由而死……

先分析（2）because they may stay and take the consequences of any foolish policies or causes they may have advocated

1）什么后果？是“错误政策和事业”造成的后果，因此，这句话脱节了，本来是一句完整的话，却分成了两句，而且原因放在了后面。而中文表述一般是前因后果，

2）“事业”和“鼓吹”不是好搭配，我觉得此处用“目标”比较合适。政策和目标在一起比较多，而且cause有“目标”之意。

Cambridge Dictionary：a socially valuable principle that is strongly supported by some people（为某些人所强烈支持的）原则，事业，目标

柯林斯英汉双解大词典：A cause is an aim or principle which a group of people supports or is fighting for. 奋斗目标；事业

这里暗含着“鼓吹政府的政策和causes”，如果causes译成“事业”，事业一般都是政府已经完成的业绩，已经完成了，还值得吹捧，自然不是错误的；只有鼓吹的是还没有完成的内容，才会在实践之后发现是错误的，而这个尚未完成的东西是什么？而且还要与“政策”在一起，很大可能是政府的“奋斗目标”。从这个角度讲，“目标”更可取。

3）“跑不掉”和“承担后果”是并列的，因此，要将这种并列关系译出来，不妨用“不但……而且”。

4）take/suffer the consequences of 是“自食其恶果”，consequence通常指不好或不利的结果、后果，即a result of a particular action or situation, often one that is bad or not convenient。尽管有人在用“承担后果”，但我觉得“后果”和“承担”不是好搭配。

所以，这里可译：

因为他们不但跑不掉，若是鼓吹了错误的政策和目标，他们还要自食其果。

再分析（3）Not so the birds of passage who run the Straits Times.

中文译文是：

但是，《海峡时报》不一样，它的管理者像候鸟般漂泊不定。

这是一个倒装句，正过来是这样的：the birds of passage are not so，或are not the same。那么，这个so指什么呢？结合上文，指的应是：既跑不掉，又会自食其恶果；not so就是既能开溜，吹牛吹过了头还不用担责任。

什么样的候鸟呢？它有个定语从句：who run the Straits Times。因此，这句的意思是：

经营《海峡时报》的候鸟们可不是这样。

优化一下就是：

经营《海峡时报》的候鸟们可无此忧。

译到此处，译者会心生此问：为什么要以“候鸟”称之？如果此处解决不了，紧接着，作者用了一段不算短的文字说明了“候鸟”之称的来由：

'Birds of passage' was a reference to the expatriates who ran the paper. Clearly the management’s decision to move the company headquarters to Kuala Lumpur earlier in the year had not gone down well. The Federation of Malaya was the larger country, independent, and might have seemed a more attractive commercial environment given the tempestuous state of labour relations in Singapore at the time, and the political tensions being generated by the extreme left. The move was clearly also a defensive measure in anticipation of a PAP election victory. Only a skeleton staff of reporters and sub-editors was left in Singapore, under Wee Kim Wee, to relay news to the Kuala Lumpur newsroom, and to edit one or two Singapore-edition pages, the sub-editors reporting to and taking orders from editors in Kuala Lumpur. The paper was put together mainly in Kuala Lumpur, but it was printed in both the Federation and Singapore. …

大意是说：《海峡时报》将总部从新加坡迁到了吉隆坡（Kuala Lumpur），其经营者两地来回跑，可不就像是候鸟。

因此，只说“《海峡时报》不一样”是不够的，要接续上文的内容和语气，而英语采用倒装句也正是此意。另外，候鸟是来回飞的，不是“漂泊不定”。

再分析（4）They have run to the Federation, from whose safety they boldly proclaim they will die for the freedom of Singapore…

中文译文：他们投靠了联邦，有了这个靠山的庇护，他们可以大胆地声明自己可以为新加坡的自由而死……

因为是引文，没有上下文，译者不太可能找到所有引文的原文看，因此，读者至此会想：这个联邦是新加坡国内存在的联邦吗？美国联邦还是其他联邦？

就在分析（3）时摘录的那段文字中就出现了Federation of Malaya（马来亚联邦），如果前面没有弄清楚“联邦”的来由，那译者译至此，就应该意识到前面的联邦指的是不是“马来亚联邦”。

如果没有相关的知识积累，此时就要快速搜索网络了，你可能得到以下信息：

·In 1948, the British-ruled territories on the Malay Peninsula formed the Federation of Malaya, which became independent in 1957.

大意：1948年，马来半岛英国治下的领地组成了马来亚联邦，1957年独立。

·After a national referendum in 1962, Singapore was admitted into the Federation of Malaysia along with Malaya, Sabah and Sarawak as a state with autonomous powers in September 1963. After heated ideological conflict developed between the state government and the Federal government in Kuala Lumpur, Singapore was separated form the federation on 7 August 1965. It became an independent nation two days later on 9 August 1965.

大意：1962年，全民投票之后，新加坡于1963年9月获准以自治主权国的身份加入马来亚联邦。……1965年8月7日，新加坡脱离联邦。两天之后的1965年8月9日，它宣布独立。

考虑到上述引文引用的是1959年5月20日李光耀总理写给《海峡时报》的信

The prime minister said at an election rally on 20 May 1959 that his remarks were directed at foreign-controlled papers. He wrote on the same day to the Straits Times that:

说明新加坡当时是在马来亚联邦的，译文中的the Federation当指“马来亚联邦”。因此，译文应是：

他们跑到了马来亚联邦那里（指搬到了吉隆坡，谈不上“投靠”），自以为安全有保障（不是投靠，也就不能说有“靠山的庇护”），便大胆地声称愿为新加坡的自由而死。

不过，有一点需要明确，尽管作者称是prime minister讲的话、写的信，但当时李光耀还不是新加坡总理，尚处于选举时期，到1959年6月3日，新加坡自治邦成立，人民行动党在自治邦政府的首次选举中成为立法议院第一大党，李光耀才出任总理。

最后分析（1）If locally owned newspapers criticise us, we know that their criticism, however wrong or right, is bona fi­de criticism

中文译文：

本地报纸批评我们，不管对错，我们都相信这批评是真诚的。

在对外国控制的报纸口诛笔伐的同时，对新加坡当地的报纸则是理解万岁。这句话中的bona fi­de criticism如何措辞，需要辨识。

如果就当地报纸的批评是“真诚的”，那跑到外国的《海峡时报》就是“不真诚的”。但从引文前面一段文字中不难看出，《海峡时报》不是不真诚，而是“不友善”，故意作对和主观恶意：

A couple of days earlier I had been to see the prime minister to take my leave. Again we discussed the Straits Times. He said there were two major concerns. First, he said, the paper was pre-empting government press releases and encouraging leaks about public policies. The effect was to subvert whatever government was trying to do. He felt that some of the younger staff were also working hand-in-glove with foreign journalists and resorting to investigative journalism under the influence of the post-Watergate culture in the US. He said that government did not mind if there were real skeletons in the cupboard – in that case he would be the fi­rst to ask that they be made public. However, journalists were seeing sinister motives behind every government policy. With an increasingly wide English-language readership, following the expansion of English as the medium of education and administration, these little drops of venom would be disastrous for Singapore if allowed to continue. The effect would be to develop public antagonism and distance towards government and thwart policies designed for Singapore’s betterment.

bona fides有两层含义：good or sincere intentions，一是“善意”，一是“诚意”。这里最好从善意的角度用词：不管说得对或错，当地报纸的批评都是善意的，意指外国报纸是不怀好意的，不是没有诚意的。