原著：Emily Waters 译者：-韩嫣-

6. Journey to the Spinner's End
蜘蛛尾巷游记

The following morning, Severus awoke rested. He stretched out on the bed blissfully – and then, he remembered where he was, and why, and instantaneously the feeling of dread set in. For a few minutes, he remained in bed, grabbing fistfuls of sheets in his hands, attempting to calm himself. It took a few minutes – but he got his emotions under control, and proceeded to get up, shower, get dressed, and finally, emerged from the bedroom into the hallway. He stood for a minute, surveying the place of his imprisonment – a simple second floor that contained the three bedrooms, his, Harry's, and a spare one, as well.
翌日清晨，西弗勒斯自沉眠中清醒。他满足地在床上伸展了身体-而之后，他想起他所处的环境，以及一切发生的原因，而后感到恐惧迅速增加。在一段时间内，他逗留在床铺上，手中玩弄着被单的一角，试图让自己平静。这花了点时间-但他终于控制住了自己的情绪，并开始起床，洗浴，穿衣，最后从卧室步入走廊。他原地站立了片刻，观察这个囚禁他的地方-一个简单的二楼，包括三个卧室，他的，哈利的，当然还有一个是空置的。
The hallway had old photographs hanging on the walls. Severus looked at them with sadness. Among other photographs, he saw an old, battered photograph of the original members of the Order of Phoenix, and found himself drawn to it instantly. He saw the faces of Alice and Frank, Mad-Eye Moody, the much younger Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and then, his heart clenched in his chest at the sight of the images of Lily and James. James looked young, serene and untroubled. And Lily... Severus felt as if he had forgotten how to breathe when he saw her eyes, as if looking at him across the decades of guilt and regret. He lifted his hand timidly and reached out to touch her smiling face, as his fingers connected with the glass, protecting the old, fragile paper of the photograph. He stood there for a minute or two, his fingers barely brushing against the thin barrier separating his flesh from the image of Lily.
走廊的墙壁上挂着陈旧的照片。西弗勒斯悲伤地看着它们。在众多照片之中，他看到一张老旧的，甚至有些磨损的照片，照片里是凤凰社的最初成员，而他自己已被拔除在外。他看到艾莉丝和弗兰克，疯眼汉穆迪，更年轻些的莱姆斯卢平，西里斯布莱克，之后，他的心脏在胸腔中被紧紧攥握，当他把目光投向莉莉和詹姆斯的时候。詹姆斯看起来年轻，沉着，无忧无虑。而莉莉……当看到她的双眸，西弗勒斯感到无法呼吸，就好像那双眼睛看穿了数十年间与他灵魂同行的悔恨。他几乎怯于抬起手并小心地去触碰她那微笑的面庞，当他的手指接触到玻璃，那保护着这老旧的照片相纸的隔膜。他在那里站了一会儿，他的手指近乎无力地摩挲着，仿佛试图打破那层他的肉体与莉莉图像间的屏障。
“Severus,” he heard Harry's measured, calm voice behind his back. “Please don't do that.”
“西弗勒斯，”他听到哈利平静而谨慎的声音出现在他背后，问道。“请别那样做。”
He withdrew his hand instantly, as if he had been burned.
他像被烫到一样迅速收回了手。
“My apologies, Mr. Potter,” he said simply.
“我很抱歉，波特先生，”他简单地说。
The corner of Harry's mouth twitched slightly. “Come with me, please.”
哈利的嘴角轻微痉挛了下。“跟我来。”
It did not occur to Severus to argue. He followed his young owner downstairs, into his study. Harry sat at this desk, and motioned for Severus to stand next to it. Opening the drawer, Harry produced a thick, heavy wooden ruler and laid it on the desk.
这并没有引发西弗勒斯的愤怒，他跟随他年轻的主人下楼，走到书房。哈利坐在书桌前，并示意西弗勒斯站在一边。拉开抽屉，哈利拿出一把长长的硬木尺子，并把它放在桌子上。
“Extend your hand to me, please.”
“把你的手给我。”
Understanding his intent, Severus complied instantly, stretching forth his hand without objection.
了解到他的意图，西弗勒斯立即遵守，毫无异议地伸出手。
Harry looked up at him with a cold expression on his face. “Tell me, do you think you deserve to be touching anything of my parents? Especially, my mother?”
哈利以一种极冷的表情看向他。“告诉我，你认为你有资格去触及我父母的任何东西吗？尤其是，我妈妈？”
His self-loathing was back in full strength, and Severus answered, with absolute sincerity, and without a trace of sarcasm, or even resentment:
他的自我厌恶全力回归，西弗勒斯回答道，带着显而易见的真诚，没有丝毫的讽刺挖苦，甚至没有怨愤：
“No, Mr. Potter. I do not.”
“不，波特先生。我没有”
Harry gave him a curt nod. “See that it does not happen again.”
哈利生硬地点了点头。“别让这事再次发生。”
Severus grit his teeth as the flat edge of the ruler struck against his hand, leaving a deep red print on his skin. Harry surveyed the print with satisfaction, and increased the strength of the blows slightly, making them fall on the fingers, the knuckles, the back of the hand, and even the wrist. The few times that the ruler turned to the side, the thin edge stuck harshly against the bone, but Severus endured the entire chastisement without flinching away, or uttering a single sound.
当尺子平滑的侧缘击打在手掌上，留下一条条殷红的印记，西弗勒斯咬紧牙关与之对抗。哈利满意地打量着这些痕迹，令它们覆遍男人的手指，手心，手背甚至手腕。有些时候尺子转为侧面击打，锋利的边缘与骨骼相击对抗，但西弗勒斯极力忍耐着这惩戒，毫不退缩，不发一言。
Harry set the ruler aside, and looked up at Severus thoughtfully. “Tell me,” he said coolly. “Will this happen again?”
哈利把尺子放在一边，若有所思地看向西弗勒斯。“告诉我，”他冷冷地说。“这事会再次发生吗？”
He felt a lump in his throat. “No, Mr. Potter,” Severus answered, surprising that he was able to keep his voice from breaking, if only just barely. “It will not.”
他感到喉咙里塞着一个肿块。“不，波特先生，”西弗勒斯答道，吃惊于自己的嗓音竟能不为此破碎，只仅仅是几乎不。“不会了。”
“Good,” Harry said with a small smile.
“很好，”哈里带着小小的笑容说道。
Severus lowered his brutalized hand, resisting the urge to cradle it.
西弗勒斯放下了被摧残过的手，抵抗着一阵阵想要割掉它的冲动。
“Now,” Harry continued impassively, as if nothing had happened. “I have arranged for Ron to take you to Spinner's End this morning, to collect your belongings. You may bring any books, clothing, or sentimental items you wish. However, needless to say, I permit no wands, no magical artifacts of any kind, and no potions ingredients, or equipment. Is that clear?”
“现在，”哈利无情地继续，就好像什么也没有发生一样。“我已经通知罗恩今天早上带你去蜘蛛尾巷，去收集你的所有物。你可以带上你的书，衣服或是其他你想带的感情寄托。然而，不需多言，我希望没有魔杖，任何形式的魔法制品，以及魔药，或是武装装备。够清楚了吗？”
“Completely,” Severus managed to say.
“完全明白，”西弗勒斯说道。
“Also, I have been invited to dinner with Ron and Hermione this evening. I have made tentative plans for them to take you to their place, and I will join you there after finishing work today. However, if you do not want to spend time with them, I will simply have them drop you off here, after your possessions are picked up. What is your preference?”
“而且，我被邀请在晚间与罗恩和赫敏共进晚餐。我计划让他们先带你去他们那儿，而我会在完成今天的工作之后加入你们。然而，如果你不想和他们共度时光，我会让他们把你带回这里，在你的物件都被整理好之后。你觉得如何呢？”
Severus did not want to show how deliriously, madly happy he was at the prospect of some – any human contact, other than Harry Potter. So he kept his face expressionless, and simply answered:
西弗勒斯不想展现他有多么兴奋，狂喜于与一些-任何人类接触，在哈利波特之外。所以他令自己面无表情，并简单地答道：
“The current plan is acceptable, Mr. Potter.”
“当前的计划是可行的，波特先生。”
“Good,” Harry said standing up. “Ron will be here in a couple of hours, give or take. I will see you in the evening.”
“很好，”哈利说着站起来。“两小时之后罗恩回来，或许会有些小误差。我们晚上见。”
Harry left promptly, and as soon as he was gone, Severus walked into the bathroom, and stuck his hand under a stream of cold water, issuing a sigh of relief. The ruler had broken the skin in two places, although not deeply, and some bruising was beginning to show. And then, as his entire hand went blissfully numb, he choked down a single, tearless sob – not at the pain he had just endured, but at the reason for it.
哈利很快离开，他一离开，西弗勒斯就步入浴室，用冰冷的水流冲洗他的手，以求得片刻的轻松感。木尺已经击破了两处皮肤，尽管不深，而且一些挫伤也开始显现。之后，当他整个手掌都陷入美好的麻木，他压抑着咽下一声无声无泪的啜泣-并非为了他刚刚受过的苦痛，而是为了那人所说的，他遭受它的原因。
He stood for a good hour, at least, without moving, just holding his hand under the flowing water, his mind as benumbed and frozen as his flesh. The ringing of the doorbell brought him out of his stupor. He turned the water off, dried his hand, and went to open the door.
他站了整整一小时，直到最终也没有移动一步，只是把手放在冲击的水流下，他的精神已经麻木，且像他的肉体一样几近冻结。门铃的响声令他走出了这种麻木的状态。他关掉水，擦干手掌，开了门。
He saw, to his mild surprise, not Ron Weasley, but Hermione Granger, at the doorstep, smiling at him cautiously.
映入眼帘的景象令他有些讶异，不是罗恩韦斯莱，是赫敏格兰杰，那女孩正站在门外，向他欣喜的微笑。
“Good morning,” he managed to say. “I was under the impression...”
“早上好，”他犹豫着说。“我还以为……”
With a quick nod, she pointed to her side, and Severus saw a familiar car in the driveway, the Weasley flying car, no less. The same car that Ron and Harry had crushed into the Whomping Willow years ago.
快速地点了点头，她指了指自己身边，西弗勒斯看见一部熟悉的车正停在道路上，是韦斯莱家的飞车，绝对是。就是几年之前那辆被罗恩和哈利开着闯入打人柳树冠的破车。
She smiled a little, indicating that the same memory crossed her mind as well. “I promise, we'll be more careful this time,” she said. “I'll be driving myself.”
她浅浅地笑着，相似的记忆也在她的脑海萦绕。“我保证，这次我们会更小心，”她说。“这次我来驾驶。”
“That's very reassuring,” he told her wryly.
“那么也许我就该放心多了，”他略带挖苦地答道。
She led him to the car, and he saw Ron Weasley sitting in the back seat, holding a small, towheaded boy in his lap.
她带他到车旁，男人注意到罗恩韦斯莱正微笑着坐在后座，一个头发蓬松的男孩正坐在他腿上。
“You remember Ron, I am sure,” she said. “And this is our son, Hugo.”
“哦，我相信你一定还记得罗恩。”她说道。“这是我们的儿子，雨果。”
Ron lifted the boy up. “Say hello to Professor Severus Snape, Hugo,” Ron admonished.
罗恩把那男孩剧情。“和斯内普教授打个招呼，雨果，”罗恩鼓励似的说道。
The boy, no older than four years of age, looked up and said in a small, but clear voice: “Hello, Professor Severus Snape.”
那个不足四岁的小男孩看过来，以一种小小的，但清晰地声音说道：“你好，斯内普教授。”
Severus was taken aback for a brief second by the boy's absolutely perfect diction. “Hello, Hugo,” he answered softly. “How old are you?”
西弗勒斯被男孩简短而又清晰地表达小小的惊到了。“你好，雨果，”他温柔地答道。“你多大了？”
“I am four,” the precocious boy said with pride. “How old are you?”
“四岁，”早熟的男孩骄傲地答道。“你呢，你多大了？”
“Hugo!” Ron whispered. “That's not polite!”
“雨果！”罗恩低声斥责道。“这样不礼貌！”
Hugo pointed his finger at Severus instantly. “He started it!”
雨果马上指着西弗勒斯说。“是他先开始的！”
And Severus found himself laughing softly, amazed at how wonderful it felt to do so. “That's quite alright, Mr. Weasley. I am forty-three years old.”
西弗勒斯温柔地笑起来，为这一切带来的美好所惊异。“的确如此，韦斯莱先生。我如今四十三了。”
Hugo absorbed the information solemnly. “I can't count that high. You must be old.”
雨果很是郑重的接受了这条信息，回复道。“我还数不了那么大的数。你一定已经很老了。”
Ron groaned and covered Hugo's mouth with his palm.
罗恩呻吟着捂住雨果的嘴
“Shall we go?” Hermione said awkwardly, sounding slightly mortified.
“出发吧？”赫敏笨拙地说，声音听起来有点无奈。
Severus issued an amused chuckle, and climbed into the front seat of the car with her.
西弗勒斯被逗乐似地发出轻笑，上车坐在她的身侧。
She turned the invisibility on, before lifting off. Severus sat next to her, once more, amazed at how normal things appeared to be... on the surface. Too bad Albus did not set me up with these two, he thought suddenly. Harry Potter was not the only one who had changed – his two best friends have grown, matured beyond what he ever thought possible, and apparently, set aside the old prejudices.
女驾驶在车飞上天空之前开了隐形档。西弗勒斯坐在他身旁，惊异于这一切发生地恍若寻常……最少表面如此。阿不思没有把我托付给这两个家伙，实在是太糟糕了，他忽然想。哈利波特并不是唯一发生改变的那一个-抛开旧日的偏见来讲，他的两个好朋友已经经历了成长，成长得明显完全超乎他的想象。
He cast a sideways glance at Hermione, and noticed that she was looking at him as well.
他偏头看了看赫敏，发现女孩也在看着他。
“I was wondering if you can tell me something,” he said quietly. “I would like to know who died in the war... on our side.”
“我想也许你可以告诉我些什么，”他平静地表达着。“我希望了解到谁曾在战争中牺牲……我们这一方。”
“You don't know?!” she exclaimed.
“你还不知道？！”女孩很是讶异。
He shook his head.
他摇了摇头。
“Well...” she murmured apologetically. “Remus Lupin. Nymphadora Tonks. Fred Weasley. Remember the boy with the camera, Colin? He died as well. Some others, too...” She proceeded to recite a list of casualties from memory, and then, she also recited a list of Slytherin students who had died fighting for Voldemort. Severus listened, every name leaving a void within.
“好吧……”她带着歉意低声道。“莱姆斯卢平、尼法朵拉唐克斯、弗雷德韦斯莱、还有那个总是拿着相机的小男孩，科林吗？他也死了。还有其他人，也一样……”她开始背诵记忆中的死亡名单，然后，也喃喃念出了为反抗伏地魔牺牲的斯莱特林学生的名单。西弗勒斯默默听着，每个名字都在他的心中留下一片空白。
“So many,” he murmured.
“太多了，”他低声说道。
“Too many,” she agreed.
“的确太多，”女孩附和。
“And Nymphadora...”
“而尼法朵拉……”
She sighed regretfully. “You were close to her?”
她遗憾地叹了口气。“你和她很熟？”
“Somewhat,” he said. “I wasn't close to anyone, given my position, but... she is... or rather, was, my godson's cousin. By the way, Draco?”
“有点吧，”他说。“托我所处的位置的福，我几乎和所有人都不太熟，但……她是……或者说，是，我教子的表姐。顺便问一句，德拉科如何了？”
“He is fine,” Hermione said quickly. “They are all fine. Narcissa saved Harry's life, you know, so they did not go to Azkaban or anything. After the war, Draco went overseas to continue his studies. Last I heard, he obtained an apprenticeship at Durmstrang.”
“他很好，”赫敏快速说道。“他们都很好。纳西莎救了哈利的命，你知道的，所以他们没有被送进阿兹卡班或者别的什么。战争之后，德拉科出国去继续他的学业。最后我听说，他转学去了德姆斯特朗。”
“Ah,” Severus murmured with slight disapproval. “The best school for Dark Arts, naturally.”
“啊，”西弗勒斯稍带不满的低声道。“传统意义上最擅长黑魔法教学的学校。”
“Yes,” Hermione confirmed. “Though his apprenticeship is in Potions.”
“是的，”赫敏证实到。“尽管他更擅长魔药学。”
Severus found himself smiling again, if only slightly. Perhaps the sacrifices of the past decade have not been completely wasted.
西弗勒斯发现自己又一次笑了，尽管很浅淡。也许这说明他过去十年的献祭般的生活并非徒劳。
She saw his expression and her own face stiffened slightly. “Life isn't as it used to be,” she murmured softly. “Things are not ... well. The Ministry is changing. The entire wizarding world is changing again. Harry... the way he is now... is not helping things. He revamped the entire Ministry to maximize his own power... brought the Dementors back to Azkaban, as I am certain you had the opportunity to notice.”
女孩看到他的表情，自己的脸色也一点点凝固起来。“生活与从前不同了，”她喃喃低语。“一切……也都不同了。魔法部在变化。整个魔法世界都在变。哈利……他现在所做的一切……对一切毫无帮助。他将魔法部改造成只隶属于他一人的独裁机构……令摄魂怪返回阿兹卡班，我确信你已经注意到这一点。”
“I see,” he said quietly. “By the way, whatever happened to Ginny Weasley?”
“我知道，”他平静地说。“顺便问一句，金妮韦斯莱怎么样了？”
Hermione froze instantly, her hands clutching the wheel of the car. “We don't actually know what happened between them,” she said quietly. “They got married soon after the war. She never spoke to any of us about any problems, but she began to withdraw more and more over the last couple of years. Two months ago, she just took off. Took their son, took Kreacher, and left.. we haven't heard from her since. She left a note, saying she didn't want to have anything to do with anyone who knows, or ever knew Harry....”
赫敏立刻僵住了，她双手抓住方向盘。“我们实际上并不知道他们之间发生了什么，”她平静地说。“他们战后不久就结婚了。她从来不告诉我们任何问题，但在过去的几年她越来越孤僻。两个月之前，她离开了。带着他们的孩子，带着克利切，走了……我们最近在没听说过她。她留了一张纸条，上面说她不希望和任何熟人再发生关系，甚至哈利。”
Severus felt a tremor go through his entire body. That did not sound good. “How old was their son?”
西弗勒斯感到震颤传经他的整个身体。那听起来并不怎么好。“他们的儿子子多大了？”
“Six months old,” Hermione murmured. “They named him Albus Sirius...”
“半岁，”赫敏低声说。“他们给他取名阿不思天狼星...... ”
Severus raised an eyebrow. “I would have expected him to name his first-born James.”
西弗勒斯挑起一根眉毛。“我本以为他会把他的第一个孩子命名为詹姆斯。”
“We all did,” Hermione agreed. “But he really missed Dumbledore. To the point of obsession, almost.”
“我们都这样认为，”赫敏附和着。“但他实在太想念邓布利多了。几乎有些痴迷。”
Severus bowed his head. That revelation did not bode well for him, in view of his situation.
西弗勒斯低下头。这现实并不预示着他的好运，鉴于他如今的情况。
The car landed by the riverbank. Hermione turned the invisibility off, and asked Ron:
车降落在河边。赫敏把隐形档关掉，问罗恩：
“Do you want to wait here, or come with us?”
“你要在这里等着，还是和我们一起去？”
“We'll wait here,” Ron said, danging Hugo on his knee. “You two go on.”
“我们在这儿等吧， ”罗恩说，他的膝盖支撑着雨果。 “你们两个去好了。 ”
“We won't be too long,” Hermione said. She opened the trunk, and pulled out a large suitcase on wheels, and then, she and Severus walked together, through the littered, sunlit street, passing the row of nearly identical brick houses.
“我们不会花太久， ”赫敏说。她打开后备箱，拿出了带轮子的大行李箱，然后，和西弗勒斯一起走着，穿过凌乱的，阳光明媚的街道，路过一排排几乎相同的砖瓦房。
They were heading towards his old home.
他们走向了他的旧房子。
... To Be Continued....
待续……