The rain now becomes a torrent, flung capriciously by a rising wind. Together they batter the trees and level the grasses. Water streams off roofs and out of rain spouts. It pounds against the window in such a steady wash that I am sightless. There is only water. How can so much fall so fast? How could the clouds have supported this vast weight? How can the earth endure beneath it?

暴雨，似急流从天而降，狂风更助雨势。风雨交加，恣意猛击树木，草地被淹。雨水从屋顶泻下，从排水管口喷出，形同瀑布，不停地撞击在窗户上，我什么也看不见了。水，水，眼前只有水，这么多，这么急！云层怎么能承载如此巨大的“水库”？大地又如何承受得了？

小析：原句描述入微，表述精彩！驰骋的想象更让人喝彩：How could the clouds have supported this vast weight? 读者朋友，面对倾盆大雨，有几人能有此联想，作此慨叹？

假如“老老实实”将此句直译成“云层怎么能承受得住这么巨大的重量？”亦可。可是，上译略作引申，译笔陡转，译成了“云层怎么能承载如此巨大的‘水库’？”原句虽无对应的“水库”一词，但是，译者译笔之灵动，思维之发散，令人叫绝。

此外，作者使用的动词是经过精心挑选的。如：flung / batter / level / streams / pounds等。而副词capriciously则更为行文着上鲜明的拟人色彩，原句里的level用作动词，Webster’s New World Dictionary 对level提供的释义之一是：to equalize in height。若据此释义，将level译成 “夷平”，似乎过分。现译成“淹没”，更合乎情理。

关于翻译的标点，平时议论较少，其实，标点在翻译过程中也并非一层不变。比如How can so much fall so fast?一句，虽是问号收尾，但系修辞性问号，不必拘泥。现译“水，水，眼前只有水，这么多，这么急！”译出了原句的赅义和精彩，并无“离谱”之嫌。

 Pacing through the house from window to window, I am moved to open-mouthed wonder. Look how the lilac bends under the assault, how the day lilies are flattened, how the hillside steps are a new-made waterfall! Now hailstones thump upon the roof. They bounce white against the grass and splash into the puddles. I think of the vegetable garden, the fruit trees, the crops in the fields; but, thankfully, the hailstones are not enough in numbers or size to do real damage. Not this time.

我踱来踱去，从房间的这个窗口到那个窗口，惊愕于窗外景象，我目瞪口呆了。瞧，在暴风雨的袭击下，紫丁香折腰，萱草倒地，山坡上的石阶小径也挂上了一帘新瀑！此刻，冰雹开始击打屋顶，乒乒乓乓，乒乒乓乓。顷刻间，银珠乱蹦于草地，白花四溅于水洼。我想到了园里的蔬菜、果树、还有田里的庄稼；不过，谢天谢地，冰雹个头不算太大，数量也不算太多，还不会造成实际损失，至少，现在还不会。

小析：曲曲折折，曲径通幽，乃美文的一道常见风景。平行结构之后（三个how构成），作者笔锋陡转，写到了冰雹！而且是从屋顶写起（Now hailstones thump upon the roof.）自然、真实、有序！

Now hailstones thump upon the roof.一句只含一个拟声词（thump），上译并未缩手缩脚，而是译成“此刻，冰雹开始击打屋顶，乒乒乓乓，乒乒乓乓？”叠音词是汉语的一个强项，如此引申翻译，强化了原文所含的意境。

译文还将how the hillside steps are a new-made waterfall!译成了“山坡上的石阶小径也挂上了一帘新瀑”，一个“挂”字，借自李白的《望庐山瀑布》，增加了译文文采，而原句中的new-made（新造的），被浓缩成一个“新”字，“一帘新瀑”！

They bounce white against the grass and splash into the puddles被译成了“银珠乱蹦于草地，白花四溅于水洼”也扬了汉语之长，译出意境。 

For this storm is already beginning to pass. The tension is released from the atmosphere, the curtains of rain let in more light. The storm has spent most of its energy, and what is left will be expended on the countryside to the east. 

因为，这场暴风雨已经开始收尾，紧张空气缓和，雨帘渐渐撩起，透出更多光亮。暴风雨已成强弩之末，只能到东边的乡间去施展其余威了。 

小析：英语是一种逻辑性极强的语言，本段段首的一个连词For，不能不译出；而beginning to pass译成“强弩之末”，真是铢两悉称！精彩表达：the curtains of rain let in more light.其主语the curtain正巧应对汉语的“雨幕”或“雨帘”之说，而谓语let in，轻巧而舒缓。如此美句，在汉译时略加引申，美则更美矣。上译“雨帘渐渐撩起，透出更多光亮”，一个“撩”字，可与let in 媲美；略含文言意味的“强弩之末”和“施展余威”，用来翻译spent most of its energy / what is left will be expended on the countryside to the east.，不仅透出些许典雅，且与全篇保持了一致的文体色彩。

I am drawn outside while the rain still falls. All around, there is a cool and welcome feeling. I breathe deeply and watch the sun’s rays streak through breaking clouds. One ray catches the drips that form on the edge of the roof, and I am treated to a tiny, quivering colors ---- my private rainbow. 

雨还没停，我忍不住来到屋外。四周，是那么凉爽宜人。作深呼吸，且遥望那一道道阳光，破云下射。此时，一束阳光恰巧照射在屋檐边的水珠水雾上，一条七色彩带，轻微颤动，若隐若现，居然映入眼帘 ---- 啊，一条供我独享的彩虹。

小析：文章的每一段“循序渐进”，细腻得写暴风雨从行程到消亡的全过程。风雨大作，句子短促而有力；雨过天晴，句子有稍稍趋缓趋长，形式和内容完美结合，遣词造句和自然景象天然交融。

One ray catches the drips that form on the edge of the roof一句难译，句中的drips若是译成了水珠，或是水滴，就欠科学，水珠或水滴，无法形成程原文作者所见的rainbow（彩虹），为此，译者将drips添译成“水珠水雾”，英语虽然很讲究表达的逻辑，然而，百密一疏，译者有时不得不略加修补呢。

I am treated to a tiny, quivering colors ---- my private rainbow. 此句很美，句中的treated to尤其美，含有大自然“款待”我的意思。而这点含义在句末终于得以补偿 – “独享”。

I pick my way through the wet grass, my feet sinking into the saturated soil. The creek in the gully runs bank ---- full of brown water, but the small lakes and puddles are already disappearing into the earth. Every leaf, brick, shingle and blade of grass is fresh-washed and shining. 

小心翼翼地，我穿过那湿漉漉的草地，双脚不时陷入浸透雨水的草地。河谷里的小溪冲刷河岸，全是褐色的泥水。而那些小水洼和小水坑都不见了踪影。一片片树叶，一块块砖头，一个个卵石，一根根小草，都冲洗地纤尘不染，熠熠发光。

小析：soil一词，不宜直译成“土地”，逻辑修正，又一例！

翻译，理解先行。The creek in the gully runs bank ---- full of brown water一句中的形容词短语full of brown water其逻辑主语要寻找正确；the small lakes and puddles are already disappearing into the earth一句中的介词into也务必理解无误。

此外，情景交融，语势磅礴，方能打动读者。作者善用parallelism，末句的主语并列使用了四个名词，气氛得以有效渲染。 

汉语的叠音词之美，不仅是一种视觉享受，而且更是一种听觉享受。译者成功翻译成了 -- 一片片树叶，一块块砖头，一个个卵石，一根根小草，都冲洗地纤尘不染，熠熠发光。

Like the land, I am renewed, my spirit cleansed. I feel an infinite peace. For a time I have forgotten the worries and irritations I was nurturing before. They have been washed away by the glories of the storm. 

大地焕然一新，我也焕然一新，心胸一洗，我感到无比恬静。一时间，久积心头的烦恼和愤懑，已不知去向，一场壮丽的暴风雨居然把它们也荡涤得干干净净。  

小析：此段既抒情，又写景。情和景，水乳交融，文章的格调也随之提升到一个新境。透过作者的心情的演变，读者分明看到环境与人的心理的互动。

上译有两处值得欣赏：

1/ Like the land, I am renewed，被译成“大地焕然一新，我也焕然一新”，而非译成“像大地一样，我也焕然一新了”。如此翻译，比较洒脱，原文的语势得以充分发挥；

2/ They have been washed away by the glories of the storm. ～ 一场壮丽的暴风雨居然把它们也荡涤得干干净净。（译者添加一个不起眼的“也”字，可以咀嚼。）