找到陶渊明《桃花源记》（At the Source of Peach Blossom Creek）的两个译本【译文之一选自某网站，译者Rick Davis (Japan) with help from David Steelman (Taiwan)；译文之二选自外语教学与研究出版社的《中国文学•古代散文选》】。挑灯比读，竟不知天之将明。
英语和汉语，各有各的美，译者见仁见智，因此，其译也必然各有长短。静心品味，潜心研析，避彼此之短，扬两译之长，再译美文，乃译林一乐。
1．晋太元中，武陵人捕鱼为业。缘溪行﹐忘路之远近，忽逢桃花林。
1/ During the Taiyuan era of the Jin Dynasty there was a man of Wuling who made his living as a fisherman. Once while following a stream he forgot how far he had gone, he suddenly came to a grove of blossoming peach trees.
2/ In the reign of Taiyuan of Jin Dynasty, there was a man of Wuling who was a fisherman by trade. One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when suddenly he came upon a forest of peach trees.
最可玩味者，“忘路之远近，忽逢桃花林”之“忽”也。表面看，似乎在讲捕鱼人的感受，其实，一个“忽”字，承上启下，既与上文的“忘路之远近”呼应，又是下文（寻向所志，遂迷不复得路）之伏笔！
此“忽”之译，不得不慎之又慎。
两译相比，译2让人叫好 -- One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when suddenly he came upon a forest of peach trees.
转换生成语言学认为，同一深层结构可以体现在不同的表层结构中。这一见解有助于译者更好把握翻译审美再现中内容与形式的矛盾，然而，也提醒译者：近似的表层结构则完全可能反映不同的深层结构。如：
When he was digging a trench, his spade struck something hard. = He was digging a trench when his spade struck something hard.
    等号左右，表层结构“小异”，多年来，人们认为其深层结构“大同”。比如，上世纪60 年代出版的影响巨大的葛氏《英语惯用法词典》，即默认上述等号，认为两句的差异仅在于后者比前者“更普遍”而已。
语言学理论的发展，不断深化人们对语言现象的认识。上世纪70年代再版的美国Random House College Dictionary (p.1498)就对等号后的这种when作了新的释义：upon or after which; and then，并提供了例句：We had just fallen asleep when the bell rung.从释义和例句看，这种“居中”的when含有居于句首的when所不具备的“突然性”。
由Randolph Quirk等四人合著的A Grammar of Contemporary English（中译本，p.528）认为：这类出现于句末的when分句所引导的是前面的叙述中所无新信息。它生动地强调了前述的事件并使之达到高潮。该书提供的例句是：
The last man was emerging from the escape tunnel when a distant shout signaled its discovery by the guard.
表层结构的近似与深层结构的微妙区别对于翻译美学具有更重要的实践意义。
译2使用一个不起眼的when，一个暗示“突然性”的when -- when suddenly he came upon a forest of peach trees，与he suddenly came to a grove of blossoming peach trees相比，隐含要比明示更美。当然，其美中不足，显而易见，画蛇添足，suddenly实为赘词。
其次，译2将“武陵人捕鱼为业”译成… there was a man of Wuling who was a fisherman by trade. 差矣！晋及晋之前的中国社会，还是单一的小农经济社会，捕鱼者是十足的“个体户”，尚未成“行业”之气候，故不宜作表层转换，译成by trade。译1之译（who made his living as a fisherman）更合理。
c/ “桃花林”三字，分别被译成a grove of blossoming peach trees / a forest of peach trees。后译不如前译，“花”（blossom）应在译文中出现，此“花”与下文的“落英缤纷”，构成呼应之美。
改译：
During the Taiyuan era of the Jin Dynasty there was a man of Wuling who made his living as a fisherman. One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when he came upon a forest of peach trees in blossom.
2．夹岸数百步，中无杂树﹐芳草鲜美，落英缤纷；
1/ It lined both banks for several hundred paces and included not a single other kind of tree. Petals of the dazzling and fragrant blossoms were falling everywhere in profusion.
2/ On either bank for several hundred yards there were no other kinds of trees. The fragrant grass was beautiful to look at, all patterned with fallen blossoms.
原句很美，“芳草鲜美”和“落英缤纷”已入汉语成语。
咀嚼之下，上译回避了“芳草鲜美”;下译则译出“落英缤纷”（with fallen blossoms），若能跳出表层转换，“芳草鲜美，落英缤纷”是否能“合而译之”？
… petals of the dazzling blossoms were falling upon the exquisite carpet of lush grass. 
此外，“落英缤纷”译成with fallen blossoms未尝不可，但是是否能将fallen改为falling?如此一改，意境即更趋丰满，不仅地上有“落英”[fallen flowers (petals)] ，而且，时见“花雨”。
英语常使用名词carpet的转义，有汉语所不及的形象美，如：
… ground carpeted with fallen leaves / 复盖着落叶的地面
The valley is carpeted with cherry blossoms. / 山谷一片樱花。
改译：
On either bank for several hundred yards there were no other kinds of trees. Petals of the dazzling blossoms were falling upon the exquisite carpet of lush grass. 
3．渔人甚异之。复前行，欲穷其林。林尽水源，便得一山。山有小口，仿佛若有光；便舍船从口入。
1/ Thinking this place highly unusual, the fisherman advanced once again in wanting to see how far it went. The peach trees stopped at the stream's source, where the fisherman came to a mountain with a small opening through which it seemed he could see light. Leaving his boat, he entered the opening. 
2/ The fisherman was extremely surprised and went on further, determined to get to the end of this wood. He found at the end of the wood the source of the stream and the foot of a cliff, where there was a small cave in which there seemed to be a faint light. He left his boat and went in through the mouth of the cave.
“林尽水源，便得一山。山有小口，仿佛若有光”不约而同地被译1和译2合并译成绵长一句。妙哉，译者得英句之美也。若是“依样画葫芦”，英译成两句，何美之有？
值得注意的是，英语句美，还美在非人称主语句（impersonal subject sentence）。在汉译英的过程中，思维被表层转换所茧服，很少会想到使用非人称主语句。译1句式绵长，且用了非人称主语句 -- The peach trees stopped at the stream's source。因为the peach trees作为主语，此句与上句（… in wanting to see how far it went.）便构成了更紧密联系，语流更畅，语义更顺。而且，非人称主语句的主句以the stream's source结束，后面就能更自然地挂上一个where引导的定语从句，定语从句中有挂上一个定语从句，就构成了“盘根错节、欲止还言”的绵长“尾重句型”。
“便得一山”、“山有小口”，皆有一“山”，译1将之译成mountain，此乃典型之表层转换也，译2译之为cliff，行文突兀矣！cliff者，a high, steep, or overhanging face of rock （悬崖，峭壁岩石、高耸的、陡峭的或悬垂的一面）也。此山，是否可译成hill？译者选用cave来翻译“小口”，合情合理，跟下句的“复行数十步，豁然开朗”更构成顺理成章的“地理文脉”。
英语的分词短语作状语的句式，就文体而言，比连用两个动词的句式更文气，更典雅.
故译1的Leaving his boat, he entered the opening更美。
改译：
Surprised at what came into his eyes，the fisherman advanced further, in the hope of discovering how far the woods extended. It ended at the stream's source, where a hill stood. A small cave cut into the hill and there seemed to be faint light in the hole. Leaving his boat, he entered the cave.
【待续】