学生译文：At the age of 20, I only read paragraphs about love in reading novels. At the age of 30, my name was “no speaking love” in chatroom on the Internet.

    改译：At the age of twenty, while reading a novel, I abandoned myself to the chapters exclusively devoted to romance. After thirty, I dubbed myself as “No Mention of Love.” in the Internet chat-room.

    点评：两译相比，最大的区别在于遣词。试比较：my name was “no speaking love” / I dubbed myself as “No Mention of Love.”前译的name用得懒散苍白，极为模糊。而后译之dub，就非常明确，其含义是：授予……称号，把……称为。如：The region is dubbed the paradise on earth.这地方被称为人间天堂。前面讲到模糊的美，而不能偏废的是，译文的遣词，往往有一般和特定，抽象和具体，模糊和明确之别。两者相比，孰美孰陋，应视语境而定。

    13） 二十岁的时候，一听到名人就激动不已，就欢呼雀跃，就奋不顾身往前冲。三十岁之后，一听到名人就若有所失，就心烦意乱，就怒火中烧，就……不知道什么滋味，特别是年轻的，漂亮的，女的名人。

    学生译文：When I was twenty, hearing the name of the famous man, I would be so excited that I could almost jump up with cheer and dashed ahead regardless of my safety. After thirty, I was indifferent, annoyed, flew into a temper and I had no feeling to hear the name of the famous man, particularly of those famous, young and pretty females.

    改译：At the age of twenty, upon hearing a celebrity, I would rush forward, hot-blooded, jumping for joy. After I thirty, upon hearing the names of celebrities, I feel lost, vexed and burning with anger, especially the names of those famous females, who are young and pretty.

    点评：汉语以神驭形，可视作意境语言，偏重暗示，欣赏含蓄，写意性很强。而英语则以形摄神，极重逻辑分析，欣赏写实。

以汉语“湖光山色”为例，就比较虚幻，难以落实，尤以“光”字为甚，然写意之中，又具有极强的暗示力，能让读者触发联想，营设如画的意境。

在英译“湖光山色”时，两种语言的差异就逼现在译者面前。其中的“光”，还有一个“色”字，英译时，必须落实，必须有一个明确的交代，否则，就译不出，就只能笼统译之。根本无法照顾到原文的意境或文采。

    我们得到的权威译文是：

    ① a landscape of lakes and mountains

    ② the natural beauty of lakes and mountains

    ③ a beautiful scenery of lakes and mountains

    ④ the beautiful scenery of the mountains and lakes

    两种语言的本质性区别告诉我们一条经验：汉语的一些属于意境性、写意性的表达，只能意译，而难以、或不能直译。一定要直译，非出洋相不可。如有人硬性把“湖光山色”译成the light of the lakes and the color of the mountains. Native speakers读此译文会问：What kind of light is it? Where does the light come from?

    回到原句，“一听到名人就激动不已，就欢呼雀跃，就奋不顾身往前冲。”其中的激动不已 → 欢呼雀跃 → 奋不顾身往前冲，就有一个从写实到写意的过渡。特别是“奋不顾身”，纯属写意。如此写意，决不能照直译来，直译将酿成费解，甚至荒诞，就像“湖光山色”一样。

    然而，前译直译了：dashed ahead regardless of my safety. native speaker读此译时，困惑油然而生：Was the famous man holding a handgun, ready to shoot at you?

    14) 二十岁的时候，和某个人晚上一起去看了场电影，不经意中拉了一次手，结果幸福了整整一个夏天。三十岁之后，坐在香格里拉酒店的旋转餐厅陪客户吃自助餐，在缓缓的转动之中，莫名其妙地一阵空虚，突然间对一切感到索然无味……

    学生译文：At the age of twenty, I went to see a film on a night with someone who casually took my hand in his palm, and this sweet happiness lingered for the whole summer. After I have turned thirty, I feel an aching void in the slow movement of the rotating restaurant, where I dine with my clients upon a buffet meal, in Shangri-La Hotel and all of a sudden I lost interest in everything.

     改译：At the age of twenty, one evening, I went to see a film. In the darkness, an incidental touch of hands filled me with joy all that summer. I am thirty, sitting the rotating restaurant of Shangri-La Hotel, accompanying clients having a buffet. In the slow rotating, an indescribable emptiness, all of a sudden, seizes me, and I find everything dull and dry.

    点评：汉语以无主语句为美，而英语则以非人称主语句为荣。试比较：

    a. 不经意中拉了一次手，结果幸福了整整一个夏天。

（注：主语系“我”，这个“我”字不必道出，读者听者皆能轻易感悟。）

    b. In the darkness, an incidental touch of hands filled me with joy all that summer.

     (注：行文何等酣畅自如，表意何其明快淋漓！只缘用了impersonal subject sentence！)

    a. 莫名其妙地一阵空虚，突然间对一切感到索然无味……

    （注：同样也是省略了主语“我”的句式。）

b. An indescribable emptiness, all of a sudden, seizes me.

     (注：同样是精彩纷呈、三读不厌的非人称主语句。)