[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]

Phoebe: ( in a soothing[抚慰的] voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky[叮叮咚咚] music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.

Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.

Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!

Monica: I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.

Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.

Monica: All right, I'll try not to.

Phoebe: Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky....

Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?

Phoebe: All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....

Monica: I'll bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine.

Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering[赌 赌注] of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling[缓缓流动的] fountains[喷泉]. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling[低声轻语的] brook....

Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee[撒尿].

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's]

Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!

Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.

Janice: A little birdie[小鸟] told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.

Joey: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...

Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.

Joey: But what does that gonna do...

Janice: For Chandler!

Joey: Okay. I'm in.

Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'

Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?

Janice: Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.

Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are entering]

Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civ)l War.

Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?

Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)

Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?

Chandler: Umm, yeah.

Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina[持久力], girth[腰围]....

Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?

Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?

Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth are we?

Ross: Nooo!

Chandler: Yeah, okay.

Ross: Yeah?

Chandler: Yeah! All right! You go first.

Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.

Chandler: Okay.

Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies[幻想 白日梦], and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....

Chandler: Princess Leia in the gold bikini.

Ross: Yes!

Chandler: I know!

Ross: Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go.

Chandler: Okay.

Ross: Okay.

Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.

Ross: Hmph.

Chandler: And, ah, you know, your fooling around with her[正在亲热]. And you get all these like, mental[精神的] images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox[复印] place....

Ross: With the belly-button ring[肚脐环]? Oh, muhawa!

Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know... (Ross just stares at him) . You don't know!

Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?

Chandler: You said...

Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare[吓唬]'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down) .

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]

Janice: We're baack!

Joey: Hey!

Chandler: What are you guys doing together?

Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)

Chandler: Really.

Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game[纽约大都会的比赛], we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy[伙计 兄弟].

Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)

Chandler: You still can't stand her can you?

Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.

Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.

Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium[今天是大都会主场的打击日].

Chandler: Well, I guess that's something.

Joey: No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.

Chandler: Okay.

Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.

Chandler: Oh God!

Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.

Chandler: Really?

Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.

[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is watching the Civil War videos]

Video: April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt) , 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison[要塞 驻军] at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment[炮轰] by....

(Monica answers the door)

Monica: Hi, Dad, what are you doing here?

Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge[桥牌] night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle[抱抱莫尼卡]. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?

Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?

Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Monica: What makes you think that I might not be okay?

Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.

Monica: Oh.

Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?

Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?

Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.

Monica: No, I really, really do.

Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!

Monica: Really!

Mr. Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.

Monica: You're not just saying that are you?

Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.

Monica: Was he crying?

Mr. Geller: No.

Monica: Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry?

Mr. Geller: Maybe.

Monica: I think so.

Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam[山姆大叔]'s nickel[镍币], because he was also strafing[炮轰] German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)

Closing Credits

[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming[哼] the Star Wars theme[主题曲]. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]

Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird[怪异的] look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?

Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)

Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking[吓坏] me out here.

Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard[混蛋] ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)