301 The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy[莉亚公主的幻想]

[Scene Central Perk, the whole gang is entering]

Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked[使眼色] at me.

All: Did not, she did not wink at you... (sees that their sacred couch is occupied by strangers) .

Chandler: Huh. (They all leave, dejected[沮丧的 灰心的])

Opening Credits[片头字幕]

[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]

Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey[陶此洛密糖] by Van Morrison.

Rachel: Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever is The Way We Were[俏郎君].

Phoebe: See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss.

Rachel: What song was that, Pheebs?

Phoebe: (singing) Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za.

(Monica enters from her bedroom)

Phoebe: Hi Monica!

Ross: Hey Mon!

Rachel: Hey Mon!

(she just walks straight into the bathroom)

Phoebe: Oh my God, has she slept at all?

Ross: Nope[不 不是].

Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.

Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace[阳台], so.

Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky[吱吱响] sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum[负鼠]. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]

Chandler: Morning.

Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes[薄烤饼]?

Chandler: Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.

Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup[糖浆], now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.

Joey: (sarcastically[讽刺的]) Good morning.

Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.

Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.

Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.

Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.

Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.

Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!

Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.

Joey: B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin'[甩掉] her.

Chandler: Nope, not this time.

Joey: Come on, quite yankin' me.

Chandler: I'm not yanking[整] you.

Joey: This is Janice.

Chandler: Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.

Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking[眨眼], that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.

Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)

[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is entering from the bathroom.]

Monica: God, look what I found in the drain[下水道].

Rachel: What?!

Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?

Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.

Monica: It's weird[不可思议的], but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross[恶心的], drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal[麦片])

Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)

Monica: God, what is wrong with me.

Ross: You need to get some sleep.

Monica: I need to get some Richard.

Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.

Monica: I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called!

Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.

Monica: What are you the memory woman?

Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.

Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute[可爱].

Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?

Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?

Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?

Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.

Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?

[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]

Rachel: (she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....

Ross: Hmm?

Rachel: Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?

Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.

Rachel: Hmm.

Ross: I think I have an old band[乐队] uniform from high school.

Rachel: You remember not having sex in high school, right?

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Well honey, what about you?

Ross: What?

Rachel: I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things?

Ross: No.

Rachel: Come on you gotta have one!

Ross: Nope.

Rachel: Ross, you know what...

Ross: What?

Rachel: ...if you tell me, I might do it.

Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?

Rachel: Yeah.

Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba[贾霸] the Hut[赫特族]? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.

Rachel: Oooh!

Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there]

Phoebe: Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, every guy our age loved that.

Rachel: Really!

Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.

Rachel: Did you ever do the-the Leia thing?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh!

Rachel: Really! That-that great huh?

Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager[呼叫器] and I have it on vibrate[震动]. See ya!

Ross: (entering with Monica in tow[拖 拉]) Hey!

Rachel: Hi you guys!

Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon[中国龙餐厅] staring at a parking meter.

Rachel: Mon. Hi!

Monica: Hi.

Rachel: Why aren't you at work?

Monica: Oh, they-they sent me home.

Rachel: Why?

Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon.

Ross: Okay.

Rachel: You really, really need to get some sleep, honey.

Monica: I know I do.

Ross: Hi.

Rachel: Hi.

Ross: Guess what?

Rachel: What?

Ross: They published my paper.

Rachel: Oh, really, let me see, let me see.

Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns[圆发髻] up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker[天行者] to come rescue[救] me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]

[Chandler enters]

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: Wheel!

Chandler: Of!

Joey: Fortune! This guy is so stupid. (yelling) It's Count Rushmore[罗斯莫尔 公爵]!!

Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?

Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?

Chandler: No, Janice.

Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers[曲棍球三兄弟].

Chandler: You know, I may be way out on a limb here[我可能误会你了], but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?

Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled[震惊]) . Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair) ?

Chandler: Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!

Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take[令人难受], you know.

Chandler: Well, there you go.

Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?

Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.

Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?

Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!

Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces[痛苦 扭曲] and tenses[紧张] up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.

Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!

Joey: Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? (Chandler gives him a look like 'You stupid idiot!')

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are entering]

Ross: How could you have told her?

Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.

Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.

Rachel: Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?

Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.

Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room[更衣室] stuff.

Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper[脱衣舞娘]?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry[史坦登岛渡轮]?'.

Rachel: Were both of those Joey?

Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.

Rachel: Not even with your best friend.

Ross: Noo!

Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.

Ross: Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?

Rachel: Pretty much.

Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?

Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.

Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.