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一次偶然的教育讲座,意外收获这首意味深长的诗《你的儿女》,孩子大了,在教育他的环节中总遇到大大小小的误区,方法越来越重要,听过讲座、看过这首诗后,突然发现我太想让孩子变成自己了,要求的太多,爱的太少,这种爱是发自内心的为他自豪、为他的点滴进步骄傲,有时想想孩子就是和自己生命中同行的伙伴,如果我们的要求过高,还有伙伴同行吗?孩子和我们是有血缘关系的,但这不代表我们和他签订了雇佣合同,他是自由的、独立的,我们不能剥夺这份独立,而是让他喜欢我们做他的伙伴,而不是父母的奴隶。
家庭也是团队,团队的伙伴可能上下同欲,但也可能分崩离析,把孩子当成团队的一分子,我们需要付出更多的爱,用真诚的爱包围他,他会喜欢这个家,喜欢我们,喜欢在这里成长。
《你的儿女》
纪伯伦
你的儿女,其实不是你的儿女。
他们是生命对于自身渴望而诞生的孩子。
他们借助你来到这世界,却非因你而来,
他们在你身旁,却并不属于你,
你可以给予他们的是你的爱,却不是你的想法,
因为他们有自己的思想。
你可以庇护的是他们的身体,却不是他们的灵魂,
因为他们的灵魂属于明天,属于你做梦也无法到达的明天,
你可以拼尽全力,变得像他们一样,
却不要让他们变得和你一样,
因为生命不会后退,也不在过去停留。
你是弓,儿女是从你那里射出的箭。
弓箭手望着未来之路上的箭靶,
他用尽力气将你拉开,使他的箭射的又快又远。
怀着快乐的心情,在弓箭手的手中弯曲吧,
因为他爱一路飞翔的箭,也爱无比稳定的弓。
On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
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