During many years many people asked me what actually is love and what I think about it. I gave many answers but at last here is my point of view. 

Sometimes also a loving person can feel no interest in sex. Sometimes it's no time for sex. It means that love is not sex. Sex is an expression of love, just like words, which can be an expression of truth. But truth is not only words, and love is not only sex. Truth exists also without words, and love exists also without sex.

 So, maybe love is a feeling? All the people think so. No, this is another mistake. Love is not a feeling. Its apparent body is made of feelings. But its inner and deepest reality is not a feeling. Feelings are so unstable, impermanent, changeable! They can mix together changing all the surface of one's consciousness of his/her love! So, one can think not to love anymore, while love is only hidden under the wintry snow, like a seed.

 Love is no sex, nor feeling. Love is a choice. Love is an intention. A fundamental choice, an enduring intention.

 Of course, love starts from attraction, sometimes from an immediate attraction. If you consider this attraction, without reducing it only to physical attraction for the so called "beauty" (as it is for very childish people - unfortunately the most of mankind), you realize that this attraction has something mysterious. It is the unconscious insight of some special quality that the other has for us, so that "he" or "she" can be "the unique one" for us. This insight-attraction comes from the deepest part of our unconscious and body, from the part of ourselves that is the most distant from our Ego and self-consciousness or will, from the part of ourselves that links us to all mankind, to all the living beings, to nature, to the universe, from a part of us that we can never reach with our consciousness, from a part of ourselves that has only to be accepted and respected. as something  absolutely autonomous inside us, something that, for this reason, can seem even holy. So, also the other one, the chosen one, becomes  "holy".

 What is very odd is that all this, as deep and absolute and really holy that it can be, is only the most childish part of love. On the other hand, everything starts from childhood, isn't it? But from this starting point something more adult must grow up. On this natural basement a great building can, and must, be constructed, like a temple on the solid rocks of a mountain. Now, building is an affair for men and women, grown up people who know techniques, have skills. And a lot of good will.

 Now, this seems to be related to the Ego. And of course it is: good will can be only a fruit of a choice of the Ego. But what an odd choice of the Ego it is! It is the choice to renounce to oneself, in order to give all of us to the other (who is "holy", do you remember? and he/she is holy because our deepest Self realized so, and now our Ego decides so). So, the main virtue of love is humility.

 And thanks to humility all the experience of love ceases to be only naturally "holy" (that maybe is too great for the poor human beings and can be reached only in some special moments of enlightenment) and becomes "saint", something more modest, humble and poor, but, just for this, more human.

 On the other hand, it is only this humble task that allows the other to remain really holy even in the storms of everyday life, that otherwise destroy everything . And this humble task allows also another and most important phenomenon. It allows to know the other better . And knowing the other, one can see how much of human, how much of universal, how much of divine there is in the mud by which the other one is made, the same human, universal, divine that is in the whole Universe and in Heaven (if there is any). So the other one becomes the umbilical cord, the navel string that links us to the Being, to the Whole.

 So, love starts from an unconscious and unwilling relation to the Whole, as a matter of fact, and becomes a conscious and willing relation to the Whole, as a personal creation, as a "Yes!" that we say to the Whole, our reply to Its offer.

 Of course, one can avoid all this, thinking that nothing has any meaning and value, that all is impermanent and is a source of pain. And actually it is really so: everything is impermanent and is a source of pain. Some time ago I visited an old friend of mine that was dying by cancer. He had no awareness, he was full of medicines against pain that made him lose any conscience. He was close to death. For one moment i was left alone with him. I approached him, deeply unconscious. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him "Erm, I am Mauro. Goodbye Erm, goodbye". And suddenly some tears came to my eyes. Now, no one was there, no one could listen to me, there was only he, who couldn't hear, and me, and I can even think that my conscience was not, is not so deeper than his. But i could feel love, he received a (too small, unfortunately) amount of love from me, and he, by his agony and pain, was giving me so much, so much more love.

 We are not born by chance, nor was the universe. Love is the only meaning of the Being, the only reply to Its apparent meaningless-ship.

 One can even imagine that love is what made God imagine us, and is the only force that can make us imagine Him.

 Everything we can think or feel is human, so also our sensation of meaningless-ship is human. But just because it is human, we, the Humans, are forced to believe that everything is meaningless. Actually, meaning is a too great affair for humans. We must leave it to God (if there is any).

 We can only do, in simplicity and humility, something meaningful, without realizing it so much. Love is what we can do.

 Some years ago I was almost dying. For a long while I perfectly realized that I was, I could tell myself "I am dying. This is death, at last". In those short - and long - moments I could feel my life so meaningless, so distant, like an unthinkably small point in an empty space there, there, at an infinite distance from me. I was so peaceful in that dramatic moment and not interested at anything in that distance and meaningless-ship. But at last I thought of my daughters. Only they were present to my soul. And i thought that i must not die because they were not ready for my death. So, the only thing i didn't abandon in my peaceful infinite distance was love.

 Now this has happened, this really took place in reality! And when all the universes shall be destroyed and nothing shall fill the nothingness, this shall be! Because what has happened, what HAS BEEN once, happens and IS for ever and ever.

 Nonsense? Of course! It's not my task, not my ability to make the ultimate sense. This task and ability belong to Another One (if there is)!   [ I have only to make my part in order to make Him exist. That is to say that I have only to realize that i am a part of Him. Stop! ]

 How much joy can come from all this! Love is joy: this is its fruit, and maybe, more, this is its source.

END

                                 爱是一种水果,自己选择品尝

有时也会有充满爱的人对性不感兴趣。有时是由于没有时间做爱。这意味着爱不是就是性爱。性是爱的一种表达方式,就像言语,这是表达真实的一个方式。但是真实不仅仅是文字,爱不仅仅指性。没有言语真实依然存在,没有性爱依然存在。

所以,也许爱情是一种感觉?所有的人这样认为。不,这是另一个错误。爱不是一种感觉。其丰富的感情托付于显然的身体。但其深入内在的现实并不是一种感觉。感情是如此不定,“无常”,多变!他们可以混合在一起表现出一个人知觉上的他/她表面的爱!所以,人们以为不爱了,然而爱情只是隐藏在寒冷的雪之下,就像一颗种子

爱既不是性也不是感觉。爱是一种选择。爱是一种意愿。一个基本的选择,一个持久的意图。

当然,爱情开始被吸引,有时来自于瞬间的吸引。如果你认为这所谓的“美”仅仅为了说明生理需求没有降低，(就像为很幼稚的人——不幸的是,大多数人一样),你就会意识到有某种神秘性。它是为我们提供了一种无意识地洞察一些特殊的能力,所以,“他”或“她”也许是对我们“独一无二的”。这种能力来自我们自身身体深处无意识,这是最遥远的从我们的自我和自我意识或将从我们自身的一部分连接我们所有的人,所有的众生对自然、宇宙,而从我们的这一部分,我们不可能达到我们的意识。因此对于来自于我们自身的这一部分,只有接受和尊重。在我们的内心作为一个完全自主者,有些东西,因为这个原因,可能看起来是神圣的。所以,另一个我所选择的我,成为了“圣”。

非常奇怪的是，这一切,因为深沉,绝对,真实,它圣洁,这仅仅是一部分最幼稚的爱。另一方面,每件事都是从童年开始,不是吗?从这个起点成长为大人。天然基底的建筑,必须被构造,像住在一座庙宇的坚实的岩石山。现在,此“建筑”是一个男人和女人两人有好多美好愿望的知道长大的技术,有能力。

现在,这似乎关乎于自我。当然,正是由于:好将只能选择一种水果的自我。这是一个多么奇怪的选择的自我!它是选择去放弃对自己,为了给所有的我们另一种文字时(谁是“神圣的”,你还记得吗?他/她是圣的,因为现在我们的内心深处意识到我们自我的决定。)那么,现在爱的美德主要是谦逊。

而且由于旨在所有爱的体验是谦逊，这就不再只是自然的“神圣”(或许是对于可怜的人类这太伟大了,仅可以达到一些特殊启示的时刻),为了成为“圣人”,更多的人更谦虚,卑微,贫穷。

另一方面,就是因为这个谦卑的任务,这使得人们保持真的圣，甚至在日常生活的风暴中,否则就会摧毁一切。这个谦卑的任务,使它呈现出另一个最重要的现象。它允许更好了解他人。并且你可以看到多少众生多少在泥里朝圣的多少人是同一个人,圣,在整个宇宙,在天上(如果有的话)。于是你就成为了脐带,肚脐字符串连接我们的存在,到世界。

爱始于一个无意识的不完整的关系,作为一个事实,并成为一个有意识的整体来看,作为一个个人的创造,作为一个“是的!“我们告诉整体而言,我们答复收购价格。

当然,人们可以避免这一切,以为什么都没有任何的意义和价值,那都是无常的,是痛苦的一个来源。而事实上的确如此:一切都是无常的,是痛苦的一个来源。以前我曾拜访过我的一位老朋友,生命垂危得了癌症。他没有意识到,布满了药物的他痛苦使他失去良心。他快要死了。此刻我独自与他呆着。我内心深处无意识接触他。我把一只手放在他的肩膀,告诉他:“嗯,是我，马龙。嗯，再见,再见。”忽然泪眶盈盈。现在,那里一个人都没有,没有一个人能听我说,他也听不到,我甚至认为我的良知没他那么深沉。但是我能感受到爱,他接到了一份(太小了,不幸的)份额的爱离开了我,而他的痛苦挣扎,给了我那么多,那么多的爱。

我们并不是生来就是一个偶然,也不是宇宙。爱是唯一存在的意义,只有回应其显而人知的无意。

人能想象得到,爱就是我们想象的神,是能使我们想象得到他的整个民族唯一的力量。

我们所有的想法或感觉是人类的本性,也是人类无意的感觉。但是正因为它是人类的本性,我们人类,被迫相信凡事都是虚空。

实际上,意义对我们人类而言是一个太大的事情。我们必须把它神化（如果有的话)。

我们唯一可以做的,就是一些简单，谦卑有意思的事情,不去实现它那么多。爱是我们可以做到些什么。

几年前,我差点死去。很长一段时间我完全意识到我了,我可以告诉我自己:“我将会死去。这是死亡,最后一次。”在那些一瞬永恒的时刻,我能感到我的生活如此毫无意义的,太遥远,像一件在一个空旷的空间,在离我无限的距离我难以完成的一件小事。在那个戏剧性时刻面对任何无意义的事情，我是如此宁静,。但最后,我想着我的女儿。只有他们呈现给我的灵魂。所以我想我不能死,因为他们对我的死亡没有准备好。所以,我唯一没有抛弃我的和平是爱无限的距离。

现在,这已经发生了,这真的发生在现实!当所有的宇宙要被毁灭的,这将是没有什么能填补空洞!因为曾经发生了一次什么事,一次,发生,直到永远。

无聊?这基本的感知当然不是我的任务,不是我的能力。这个任务,属于另一个能力(如果有)![我只有为了使他存在而完成我的“一部分”。这就是说,我只有认识到我是他的一部分。停止!]

有多少快乐可以来自这一切!也许更多，爱是快乐。这就是爱的果实，这就是它的源头。

结束