安琪写城市的诗

 

 

《父母国》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

看一个人回故乡，喜气洋洋，他说他的故乡在鲁国

看一个人回故乡，志得意满，他说他的故乡在秦国

 

看这群人，携带二月京都的春意，奔走在回故乡的路上

他们说他们的故乡在蜀国、魏国和吴国

 

无限广阔的山河，朝代演变，多少兴亡多少国，你问我

我的国？我说，我的故乡不在春秋也不在大唐，它只有

 

一个称谓叫父母国。我的父亲当过兵，做过工，也经过商

我的父亲为我写过作文，出过诗集，为我鼓过劲伤过心

 

他说，你闯吧，父亲我曾经也梦想过闯荡江湖最终却厮守

一地。我的母亲年轻貌美生不逢时，以最优异的成绩遇到

 

“伟大”的革文化命的年代，不得不匆匆结婚，匆匆

生下我。她说，一生就是这样，无所谓梦想光荣

 

无所谓欢乐悲喜，现世安稳就是幸福。我的父母

如今在他们的国度里挂念我，像一切战乱中失散的亲人

 

我朝着南方的方向，一笔一划写下：父母国。

 

 

《FATHERMOTHER-LAND》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

See that person headed homeward, his face wreathed in holiday smiles, saying his native place was once the State of Lu

See that person headed homeward, her eager wishes soon to be fulfilled, saying her native place used to be the State of Qin

 

See that crowd of people, lugging a New Year's glow from the capital, hurrying on the homeward road

Saying their hometowns were once in the ancient states of Shu, Wei or Wu

 

Boundless stretch of mountains and rivers, fought over by succeeding dynasties...so many dukedoms rose and fell, and you ask me

What ancient domain am I from? I say, my native place wasn't found in the Spring and Autumn Period; it wasn't in the Tang Dynasty. It only has one title

 

Which is “Fathermotherland.” My father served as a soldier, worked in a factory, went into business

My father wrote compositions for me, published my poetry collection, stoked my fire and felt my sadness

 

He said, Go and make your way! O Father, I've dreamed of making my way in the demimonde, then finally staying put

 

At your side. My mother was a young beauty, born in the wrong era, who won outstanding marks, only to find herself

In the era of the “Great” Cultural Revolution,  so she had to settle for a hasty marriage and a hasty pregnancy

Which was me. She said, That's the way life is; it's not about dreams or honor

 

It's not about your feelings of joy or sorrow. To have stability in this lifetime is happiness. My father and mother

Now dwell in their domain, feeling concern for me, like anyone separated from a loved one in times of turmoil.

 

Facing towards the South, with deliberate penstrokes I write: Fathermother-land.

 

——————————————————————

《极地之境》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

现在我在故乡已呆一月

朋友们陆续而来

陆续而去。他们安逸

自足，从未有过

我当年的悲哀。那时我年轻

青春激荡，梦想在别处

生活也在别处

现在我还乡，怀揣

人所共知的财富

和辛酸。我对朋友们说

你看你看，一个

出走异乡的人到达过

极地，摸到过太阳也被

它的光芒刺痛

 

 

 

《THE ENDS OF THE EARTH》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

I've been visiting in my hometown for a month now

Friends come to see me one by one

Then leave one by one. They feel at ease

Self-sufficient, never having known

The tragic moods I used to have. I was young then

Prone to youth's agitations, and dreams were elsewhere

Life was elsewhere

Now I'm back in my hometown, in possession

Of the wealth that everyone knows about

And a hidden touch of heartache. To my friends I say

You see, a person like me

Goes away from home and reaches the ends

Of the earth, where you can touch the sun

But you are also pierced by the sun's rays  

 

————————————————————————

 

《菜户营桥西》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

  

自此我们说，可以拐弯了，可以走辅路走路漫漫的路

其路也修远其求索也艰辛其情也苦其爱也累其人其物

不值一文其生已过半其革命已成功或尚未成功其遭遇

也丰硕也奇异也幸福也荒诞那么我们说，你还要什么

你，在路上的你，追赶时间的你，欠死亡抽你揍你的

你，女性主义的你，你还想要什么？

 

菜户营已到，这左一道右一道的桥嫁接在空中使平地

陡然拔高几米，你转悠其间自此我们说，可以安歇了

那些临近崩溃的楼层在夜晚换了面目，孤云缠绕某夜

我们看见月亮像白血病患者惨淡的脸凄清而哀怨某夜

凉风曝光了草丛中草拟的意识流我们在长椅上的幻想

那些过往的困惑因絮叨而成型而复活落迹于刹那光影

 

我们，在路上的我们，被时间追赶的我们，热爱活着 

的我们，并不存在的我们，我们还能要什么？

 

 

 

《WEST OF CAIHUYING-QIAO》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

At this point we say: We can turn here, take the feeder road...take a nice long walk

Oh the road we tread stretches far; the search we undertake is arduous; the emotions are bitter; the love tiring; the persons and objects

Are hardly worth a cent; our life-stage is past halfway; the revolution has already succeeded, or it hasn't succeeded, and our trials

Are enough to fill a granary, so bizarre and blessed and inane that we say, What more do you want?

Tell me, you on the road, you who are chasing time, you who are ripe for a whipping and a pummeling by death

You who espouse feminism, what more do you want?

 

We have reached Caihuying; these bridge lanes heading towards the right and left are grafted onto the sky, making level ground

Suddenly rear up several meters into the air; now that you've taken to strolling hereabouts we say: give yourself a rest

Those tottering buildings change their features at night; one night enwreathed in a lone cloud

We saw the moon looking like a leukemia sufferer, its pallid face chilled and mournful, and one night

A cool wind parted a clump of grass to show our stream of consciousness, a draft in grassy characters of a fantasy on a reclining chair   

Those passing perplexities, having nagged us enough, now take a fixed shape and are reborn, revealing traces in shifting light and shade

 

As for us, the ones who are still on the road, the ones pursued by time, who warmly love being alive...

We whose existence is open to doubt, what more could we want?

————————————————————

 

《清晨倒影》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

我们当然应该把自己关在清晨牛奶一般的语境里

我们当然应该把自己看作野菊、蓝葵、碎兰

看作秘密本身，关在清晨里。

夜晚的残骸被夜晚收走。

忘却一直在忘却，一直在，忘却。

其实我只是假装没有来历

假装并无时光供我怀念，也无风雨散漫的此生

用来流布。假设在清晨我们把石子一颗颗

从躯体掘出，啊，往事多么刻骨，每一颗

往事的石子都曾经带血

沾染着越来越密集的隐痛。

它们注定是牛奶中的三聚氰氨

注定让你我的余生被全盘倾空，在清晨

我们当然应该把自己关在画地为牢的终场里——

寂静唬住了我们，啊，一个概念化的想象

终于在虚无中获得证实！

 

 

 

《INVERTED REFLECTION OF A MORNING》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：梅丹理  Translated by Denis Mair

 

 

Of course we should lock ourselves into a context as morning-fresh as milk

Of course we should see ourselves as asters or nightshade flowers or tree orchids

See ourselves as secrets in our own right, lock ourselves into the morning.

The corpse of night will be disposed of by the night.

Forgetting will go on forgetting; it will go on...forgetting.

Actually I only pretend that I have no background

That there were no times worth recollecting, no life of weltering storms

Which I could spread word of. If it were morning we could extract gravel stones

One by one from our bodies. Ah, how those episodes cut me to the bone.

The gravel stone of each episode once dripped with blood

Dyeing the pangs that are ever more tihghly clustered.

They are fated to be the melamine in milk [1]

Making the rest of my life hollow. In the morning of course

We should lock ourselves into the final act which is our self-fulfilling prophecy...

The stillness has scared us...ahh, what was once a concept in imagination

Has finally been borne out in nothingness!

 

——————————————————————

《我觉得今天你不能再写了》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

我觉得今天你不能再写了
你们都在创作
就我一人无所事事
小小空地走来走去

我觉得尖叫有时是一根火柴很快熄灭
偶尔留一点红红的头
必须放在水里看它冷却
才安下心
才丢进垃圾桶
看一根烧过的火柴头与一叠废纸混居有时
很伤感
有时很奇妙

我觉得今天的场景很伤感
很奇妙就像
烧过的火柴头
和废纸
你在空地走来走去
小小的落寞，落寞有吗？
烟含在嘴里
水拿在手里
你觉得今天我不能再写了整个小区都被高楼
塞满了高楼都被
灯光撑饱了
你的神经也被我的敲打刺激了

                                 2004/4/25。北京。

 

《I Don’t Think You Can Write Any More Today》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

I don’t think you can write any more today

You are all writing creatively

Except I, who have nothing to do

Walking to and fro, over the small, empty ground

 

Screaming, I think, sometimes is a match that quickly goes out

Leaving occasionally a tiny red head

That must be placed in the water to see how it gets cold

Before one becomes calm

And bins it

Watching a burnt match-head cohabiting with a pile of scrap pieces of paper

Sometimes makes one sad

And sometimes is a wonderful thing

 

I find today’s scene quite saddening

So wonderful it resembles

The burnt match-head

And the scrap pieces of paper

You walk, to and fro, over the empty ground

A bit solitary, or solitude?

The cigarette between the lips

The water in the hand

You don’t think I can write any more as the whole area is stuffed

With high rises, the high rises bursting

With lamplights

Your nerves excited by my keying

 

_______________________________

 

《往事，或中性问题》 

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

再有一些青春，它就将从往事中弹跳而起
它安静，沉默，已经一天了
它被堵在通向回家的路上已经一天了
阅读也改变不了早上的空气哭泣着就到晚上
流通不畅，流通不畅
再有一些未来的焦虑就能置它于死地
我之所以用它是想表明
我如此中性，已完全回到物的身份。 

2004/8/8。北京。

 

《Things of the Past or an Issue of Asexuality》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

With a little more youth, it’ll jump from things of the past

It is quiet, silent, a day already

A day already after it’s stopped on its way home

Not even reading will change the morning air, crying till the evening

Bad circulation, bad circulation

With some more future anxiety it would be put to death

I use the word ‘it’ to show

I am so asexual I have returned to the state of things

 

——————————————————————

 

《在夜的深处》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

在夜的深处，呼吸沉重，我和你

在夜的深处

踱步，以太极的方式，左腿，迈，顿，右腿

迈，顿，身体要平衡

气息要均匀

你厚厚的背影，黑色，像一座移动的烈火被按捺在

夜的深处

 

微弱的光照着不变的一切

长沙发胡乱抱着白被子

你的衣服零乱，丢置在不高的椅背上

不能不坚持

我狠狠的凝视着你我爱你

而你不相信

 

在夜的深处，煤气开了又关

必须为死亡找到良好的借口而我不相信

死亡能够化解恩怨

油腻的厨房

对峙于味道浓厚的厕所

这就是生的执着

在夜的深处

执着是一种残忍我想放弃想对你说我爱你

而你不相信

 

牙疼隐含在牙里

时钟滴答

天光微亮，春天寒冷尚未消散

亲爱的亲爱的

当我认识你 春天到了

而你一以惯之的沉默像寒冷

尚未消散

  

            2006/4/22。北京。

 

 

《In the Depth of the Night》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

In the depth of the night, breathing heavily, you and I

In the depth of the night

Pacing, the way one practices Tai Chi, left leg, stepping out, pausing, right leg

Stepping out, pausing, keeping a balance

Breathing evenly

The broad back shadow of you, black, like a moving fire, suppressed

In the depth of the night

 

The weak lamplight shining on things that don’t change

The couch hugging the mess of a white quilt

Your clothes in disorder, abandoned on the low back of the chair

One can’t give up on persistence

I, savagely, stare at you I love you

And you don’t believe it

 

In the depth of the night, the gas switched on, and on again

One must find an excuse for death and I don’t believe

Death could resolve grace

The oily kitchen

Facing off with the smelly toilet

Which is the persistence of existence

In the depth of the night

Persistence is cruelty I want to give up on I want to say to you I love you

And you don’t believe it

 

Toothache hidden in the tooth

The clock was ticking away

The sky dimly lit up, the spring cold still there

Dear my dear

When I know you the spring has arrived

And your silence, consistent, like the cold

Is still there

 

_________________________ __

 

《他们在说爱情》

 作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

他们在说爱情，这有点荒唐，难道你以为你摸到的

两个硅胶就是乳房

你吻到的两爿口红就是嘴唇

你进入的就是身体

你出来的就是满足

 

他们在说，而那盏灯在冷

而陌生的墙壁预谋倒塌，而地预谋陷裂

空中预谋更大的灾难因为他们在说爱情

飞机笑了，控制不住掉了下来。

 

2005/9/2。北京。

 

 

《They Were Talking about Love》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

They were talking about love, which was a bit absurd. Do you think the two

Pieces of silicon you were touching were breasts

And the two slices of lipstick you were kissing were lips

And what you entered was a body

And when you came out it was gratification

 

They were talking, and the lamp was getting cold

And the strange walls were plotting a collapse, the ground plotting a caving in

A greater calamity was being planned in the air because they were talking about love

The plane laughed, crashing, out of control

 

——————————————————————

《树叶在北京》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

　　
树叶在北京干干净净的
一小片一小片
不纠缠
树叶在北京
冬天全部掉落
春天青翠逼人
秋天一闪一闪的晃着你
夏天
夏天的树叶什么样子我忘了
夏天的北京
我没有注意到树叶
我忙碌于
没有情感的生活
　　

                        2004年8月14日

 

 

《Leaves in Beijing》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

leaves in beijing, clean and clean through

a tiny, tiny blade

unentangled

leaves in beijing

all fallen in winter

the spring green, like jade, chilling

the autumn, flash after flash, shaking you

summer

i’ve forgotten how the leaves looked in summer

summer’s beijing

i didn’t take note of them

i was busy

living a life without love

 

_______________________________

《活在一条河的边上》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

活在一条河的边上，很干净，很危险

活在一条河的边上，河水清澈，欢快流走

河水河水，一个人活在你的边上

两个人陪她走，三个人如此相爱，相爱如此宽厚

如此寂寞，如同一条河慢慢走

 

2004/9/16。北京。

 

 

《Living on the edge of a river》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

Living on the edge of a river, clean, dangerous

Living on the edge of a river, with limpid waters that run away happily

River waters, river waters, living, alone, on your edge

Two walking, keeping her company, three so much in love, their love so broad and

thick

So solitary, like a river that walks away slowly

 

 

__________________________

《七月开始》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

七月了，你在灯下发短信，你在想我

在重新开始的七月你在很近的村庄发短信

想我，身旁的竹凉席印着你和你的影子

很近的桌上日光灯就要炸裂

你在发短信，想我，像房东在想她的房租

 

2004/9/16。北京。

 

 

《Beginning with July》

作者：安琪   An Qi

译者：欧阳昱  Translated by Ouyang Yu

 

 

Already July, when you were texting, you were missing me

In a July that began again, you were in the close village texting

Missing me, the cool bamboo mat printed with you and your shadow

Over the close desk the florescent light ready to explode

You were texting, missing me, like the landlord, missing her rent

 

——————————————————

作者简介：

安琪，本名黄江嫔，1969年2月生于福建漳州。写诗，写文，偶尔画画。中国作家协会会员。新世纪十佳青年女诗人。合作主编有《第三说》《中间代诗全集》。出版有诗集《奔跑的栅栏》《你无法模仿我的生活》《极地之境》及随笔集《女性主义者笔记》等。现居北京。

 

An Qi, origin name is Huang Jiang Pin,she was born in 1969 in zhangzhou,Fu Jian province. She writes poetry and literary works,sometimes painting as well.She is a member of China Writers’Association,and also one of the Top ten youth female in the new century.Her co-edited books are The Third Said,and Poem Collection of the Middie Generation.Published collection of poems are:The Running Fence,You Cannot Imitate My Life,the The Polar Region,Notes of Feminist,etc.

 

电子信箱：anqi69@163.com

——————————————————————

 

译者简介：

欧阳昱

Ouyang Yu, now based in Melbourne, came to Australia in mid-April 1991 and, by the end of February, 2019, has published 106 books of poetry, fiction, non-fiction, literary translation and literary criticism in English and Chinese. He also edits Australia’s only Chinese literary journal, Otherland.
Ouyang’s poetry has been included in the Best Australian poetry collections for 11 times from 2004 to 2016, including his poetry translations from the Chinese in 2012 and 2013, and has been included in such major Australian collections as The Penguin Anthology of Australian Poetry (2009), The Macquarie PEN Anthology of Australian Literature (2010), The turnrow Anthology of Contemporary Australian Poetry (2014) and Contemporary Australian Poetry (2016).
He has to date published 5 English novels, The Eastern Slope Chronicle (2002), The English Class (2010), Loose: A Wild History (2011), Diary of a Naked Official (2014) and Billy Sing (2017), and 5 Chinese novels, The Angry Wu Zili (1999 and 2016), Land of Gold-diggers (2014), A Lonely Night Boat (2016 in Taiwan), She (2017) and The Colour Green [Vols. I, II and III] (a trilogy, 2018).
He was nominated one of the Top 100 Most Influential Melbournians for 2011 as well as the Top 10 most influential writers of Chinese origin in the Chinese diaspora.
He is now the ‘Siyuan Scholar’ and professor of English at Shanghai University of International Business and Economics, China (since 2012).
In 2016, he won an Australia Council grant for writing a book of bilingual poetry and a special award from the Australia-China Council for ‘his contributions to Australian Studies in China through major translations and original works of scholarship’ (for the 2000-2016 period). And in 2019, he has won a major Australia Council grant for writing a novel.